Crypto exchange Nomad was just hacked and totally wiped out to the tune of nearly $200 million. They have about $4k left in their accounts. These hackers should’ve hit them about 3 months ago, they’re a little late.

Read more at Watcher.

The first Jan 6 defendant to go to jury trial was sentenced to seven years today. It’s the longest sentence given so far. Guy Reffitt was initially turned in by his son, after he showed up at the Capitol with a gun and zip ties. He has since renounced ties with the Three Percenters, saying he was a fucking idiot for his actions.

As soon as he gets out, he has two tickets to a LIV golf event waiting for him .

Read more at mediaite.

Ayman al-Zawarhi, who took over after Bin Laden was killed, is dead. He was one of the masterminds behind the 9/11 plan, and had issued a fatwah that Muslims are duty bound to kill Americans whenever and wherever possible. “On Saturday, at my direction, the United States successfully concluded an air strike in Kabul, Afghanistan that killed the Emir of Al Qaeda, Ayman al-Zawarhi. He was deeply involved in the planning of 9/11,” Biden said in an address to the nation.

They didn’t get him at a Bedminster Golf Tournament, did they?

Read more at Vice.

California has now made it a crime to visit Hyperion, the tallest tree in the world, attaching a five thousand dollar fine and six month incarceration for those who ignore the warnings. The tree is located in Redwoods National Park, way off trail, deep in the forest. Bloggers who have pointed the way to Hyperion have been responsible for a shitload of ecological damage, as getting there requires bushwacking.

Guys, it’s just a tree.

Read more at CNN.

A Chuck E Cheese mascot is getting accused of being racist after a video was shown of them ignoring an African American girl and not giving her a high five at a party.

Same thing happened to Tom Brady too.

Madden 20 gave @TomBrady a High Five rating of 0.0 @LacesOutShow pic.twitter.com/3jfXAlvVHz

— Barstool Gametime (@StoolGametime) July 16, 2019

126 pounds of cocaine washed up in three separate locations in the Florida Keys over the weekend. It’s safe to assume it was actually 150 pounds but some just happened to go missing.

Read more at the Miami Herald.

A traveler who had two undisclosed Sausage McMuffins in his luggage owes the Australian gummint $2000. It was discovered by a dog whose job it is to find meat, as Australia attempts to crack down on foot and mouth disease.

If you’ve ever had airplane food, this is well worth the price.

Read more at TMZ

We know a lot about dinosaurs that lived on land, but the discovery of a freshwater fossil has made it clear that there are plenty of aquatic monsters from our ancient history that we know nothing about because their fossils are deep underwater.

Turns out Sting was completely right with Synchronicity 2.

Read more at Vice

A delivery only “restaurant” (most likely delivered via ghost kitchen) is now available to order from all the delivery apps offering nothing but cheesesteaks and fries. Its brought to you by the Barstool Sports podcast, Pardon My Take.

Finally. A podcast you can eat.

Read more at barstool.

Pardon My Cheesesteak is officially here.

200+ locations nationwide, with more being added each week.

Cheesesteaks and loaded fries delivered to you. Go to https://t.co/4XD1K2TY94 and order now on DoorDash, UberEats, Postmates, or Grubhub pic.twitter.com/kR7QvftImE

— Pardon My Cheesesteak (@PardonMySteak) August 1, 2022

Smith is pissed about the NFL’s decision to suspend Deshaun Watson without revealing the basis for their decision.

When all you had to do as the National Football League—of course in constant with the players association to some degree be collective bargaining—was say this is our league and we don’t know how criminally negligent or culpable you may be. We don’t have that evidence and that information. What we do know is that we are a private industry and we have a right to make sure that we police anybody COMPROMISING our bottom line. And if you’ve done that, we’re gonna make a decision based on just that, so you handle your business and not impugn our league. They didn’t do that here. What they did was put themselves in the position of resembling law enforcement. But law enforcement reveals to us what the hell they found and why they’ve come down with the level of condemnation they come down with. The NFL is not doing that and as a result, that’s creating more question marks and it’s attaching a level of guilt to Deshaun Watson, or innocence to Deshaun Watson that he may or may not deserve. And I think it is wrong for any professional sports league to put themselves in that position.”

You thought the guys who kept CTE quiet would be transparent about anything else?

Read more at mediaite.

It’s come out that LIV offered Tiger Woods btw $700 and $800 million dollars to jump ship to them. Woods rejected the offer. That’s more money than what the Mega Millions winner is gonna get after taxes.

Read more at the New York Post.

If you wanna see what some Browns fans feel about the Deshaun suspension, just head over to the Browns subreddit. Let’s give Browns fans a chance here, they were very understanding of Ben Roethlisberger’s legal troubles too.

Read more on Reddit.

The man who played Drago was asked what he thought of the plans to do a Ivan Drago sequel to Rocky and said “Keep Me Out of It”

Okay but can we find out what Bridget Nielsen thinks of this?

Read more at Fox News

Andor is coming to Disney Plus September 21st and its a prequel to a prequel starring Diego Luna as Cassian Andor.

How are there more Star Wars projects than stars in the sky? We’re running out of stars to war.

Read more at The Verge

The Queen of pop is going back to remove a word from her new album after heavy backlash. It’s the same word that Lizzo removed from her song just weeks ago. The song Heated, as released, features a line that says “Spazzin’ on that ass, spazz on that ass.”

Who’s the real queen? So-ci-e-ty.

Read more at CNN

Rap artist Mystikal was arrested in Louisiana on charges of first degree rape, domestic abuse, battery by strangulation, false imprisonment and property damage.

You fucked up dude you should have done it in Italy.

Read more at TMZ

Smokeshow Emily Ratajkowski has admitted that she’s divorcing Sebastian Bear-McClard because he was a dirty cheater. Fans discovered that she liked a bunch of tweets trashing him, including one that said “can’t believe that little bitch cheated on emrata.”

Maybe he just wanted to be the pretty one once in awhile.

Read more at buzzfeednews.

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The number 1 app download in the Apple App store is a social sharing platform that allows no uploads, or filters, and requires users to upload dual front and rear facing images once a day at random times. Now instagram has added a feature that allows you to take and post those same dual images.

That’s not a platform, that’s a fad. It should take about 2 weeks for users to realize that real sucks.

Read more at Vice.

Inflation has pushed even well salaried families into the paycheck to paycheck position now, a new study says. A whopping 61% of people would be in deep shit if they lost their current jobs.

And 38 percent don’t even have a paycheck but one percent are doing pretty okay.

Read more at CNBC

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