Meta thought it might be a good idea to pretend to be concerned citizens speaking out against tech reform and opposing new antitrust tech laws being proposed. The opinion pieces claim to be written by local small business groups, but they’re actually authored by a lobby group hired by Facebook.

Uh, guys…burner accounts only work online, not in print.

Read more at NY Post.

Hate when your wraps and burritos unravel before you get a chance to eat them? A new “edible tape” will solve your problems without toothpicks or other unpleasant intrusions on your lunch. The engineering students call it Tastee Tape and its made from food additives.

It’s not that exciting. We had edible paste when I was in kindergarten.

Read more at gizmodo.

Billy McFarlane is fresh out of Prison for his role in the disaster Fyre Festival and he’s already brainstorming for ideas to generate income in the entertainment industry. He has to because he’s been ordered to reimburse investors to the tune or $26 million.

Can’t wait for the next expensive disaster.

Read more at The Guardian

Musk responded to allegations that he exposed his hardon to a Space X flight attendant and offered her a horse if she would sleep with him. Musk called his accuser a politically motivated far left activist, and challenged her to describe one thing about his anatomy not known to the public.

Dude, what kind of weird penis are you bragging about?

But I have a challenge to this liar who claims their friend saw me “exposed” – describe just one thing, anything at all (scars, tattoos, …) that isn’t known by the public. She won’t be able to do so, because it never happened.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 20, 2022

If you’re going to get me too’ed get me too’ed by the national guard. An officer who was found guilty of sticking his face in a soldiers cleavage is leaving the National Guard but he’ll be going with full retirement benefits.

Guess she should have had her national guard up.

Read more at NY Post.

A new lawsuit alleges that T Mobile employees downloaded nudes of a customers phone, and some investigation has revealed that its happening more than you think.

Hey if you can’t trust the phone company….

Read more at NY Post.

Former Phillies pitcher David West’s died of brain cancer this month. So did catcher Darren Daulton in 2017, infielder John Vukovich’s in 2007, catcher Johnny Oates’ 2004, pitcher Tug McGraw in 2004 and pitcher Ken Brett in 2003, and it seems like maybe someone should be looking into what the fuck is up.

Sadly this is no worse than the ratio of brain deaths in Philly.

Read more at Fox News

Trash talk is called “chirping”, a “ferda” is a selfless play by a teamate, and the “five hole” is the space between a goalie’s legs. The long hair that sticks out of a helmet is “flow”, and “peanut butter” is a goal scored at the top of the net. There’s also “slew footing” and a “sin bin”, “splitting chiclets” which I’m sure you can guess, and “tarps off”.

What’s their slang for a team full of mullets?

Read more at mental floss.

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The NY Post thinks its news that Justin Verlander, who happens to be married to Kate, gave her a fire emoji for her bikini pic. But its really just an excuse to share Kate Upton’s latest bikini pic.

Hard dicks get clicks.

Read more at NY Post.

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Looks like the guy who rushed the stage at Netflix is a Joke Fest with a gun-knife is guilty of more than just making a scene at a Chappelle Show. He’s now been charged with attempted murder for stabbing his roommate back in December.

Netflix has already given the roommate three specials.

Read more at People.

Pete and three major castmembers are signing off SNL after Season 47 concludes this weekend.

Didn’t Pete already leave?

Anyone have Denny Glassers number?

Read more at Variety.

https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/pete-davidson-leave-saturday-night-live-1235273489/#recipient_hashed=e9d27d2649c13dd27d8f6597adb5c6baa14894422a329cd9fc108ff03713c273

Friday morning, the pop legend was shocked to find out she was blocked from going live on Instagram. She was told, “posts from your account have recently been removed for going against our Community Guidelines, so live video sharing has been temporarily blocked.”

So now we gotta go to twitter to see her tits?

Read more at billboard.

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Top Gun Maverick tops this list of movie sequels that nobody was expecting that breathed new life into a dormant franchise.

Are we going to keep doing old man top guns?

Read more at Variety.

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Okay but Reggie Watts was doing this in 04.

This is what happens when those god damn chicken sandwiches sell out.

Watch the fight on Twitter.

You gotta get jumped in when you get hired at @Popeyes https://t.co/lKMABOZVRC

— Final Form Loading 🤴🏽🥷🏽🦸🏽‍♂️🤑🐐 (@KingJonesINC) May 19, 2022

A study found that 47% of Americans didn’t feel like an adult until they hit 29. The other 53% considered drinking until blacked out during college adulthood.

Read more at Study Finds.