The Rabbi in the hostage situation in Texas ended up throwing a chair at the man holding them hostage after 10 hours, saving himself and the three other people. He credits security training for knowing what to do. Someone give that chair a medal!

Read more at the New York Post.

Some physicists have a theory that spacetime may actually be “pixelated” and say the “pixels would be “so small that if you were to enlarge things so that it becomes the size of a grain of sand, then atoms would be as large as galaxies.” So is time a flat circle or what?

https://futurism.com/universe-pixelated

Some physicists have a theory that spacetime may actually be “pixelated” and say the “pixels would be “so small that if you were to enlarge things so that it becomes the size of a grain of sand, then atoms would be as large as galaxies.” So is time a flat circle or what?

Read more at futurism.

Jeffrey Parker was the head of MARTA, Atlantis transit authority, until he killed himself by walking in front of a moving train this weekend.

This would be like the soup nazi drowing in a pot of Mulligatawny.

Read more at People.

A woman ate 32 rolls at an all you can eat sushi joint and got herself a trip to the ER for her trouble.

All you can eat isn’t all you should eat.

Read more at NY Post.

Somewhere in upstate New York a homework assignment asked kids to translate some odd sentences into spanish. “You are Mexican and Ugly” was one of the sentences.

Tell that to Salma Hayek

Read more at NY Post.

Peyton could be heard saying “I can’t hear shit” into a hot mic last night on the Manningcast. Eli handled it like a pro, he’s evolving.

Watch the clip on Twitter.

Manningcast never disappoints pic.twitter.com/I7CkYQwEuP

— Pardon My Take (@PardonMyTake) January 18, 2022

Olympic athletes are being advised to leave their phones at home as they head to Beijing for the Winter Games to avoid being spied on by the Chinese government. But how will they make tik toks then? On burners??

Read more at Yahoo Finance.

The games for next weekend are set after the Rams beat the Cardinals on Monday Night Football. Can we change the name of Wildcard Weekend to Blowout Weekend going forward?

Read more at NFL.com.

Eli Manning got a sweet Death Row Records gold chain for his birthday courtesy of Snoop Dog and he’s excited.

Wait till Eli finds out it’s stolen.

Thanks for making @EliManning's birthday wishes come true, @SnoopDogg pic.twitter.com/GzNodtdaVN

— Omaha Productions (@OmahaProd) January 17, 2022

Adele will be making $700k a night during her Las Vegas residency. This will not only buy beans on toast for her for the rest of her life but also her grandchildren’s grandchildren.

Read more at The Sun.

Some crypto guy is getting mocked all over the internet after he spent a fortune on a rare pitchbook of Jodorowsky’s Dune and then posted his big plans for it. He’s ready to make the book public, produce an animated series based on it, sell that series to a streaming service, and support derivative projects.

Further proof that Idiocracy was a documentary.

We won the auction for €2.66M. Now our mission is to:

1. Make the book public (to the extent permitted by law)

2. Produce an original animated limited series inspired by the book and sell it to a streaming service

3. Support derivative projects from the community pic.twitter.com/g4QnF6YZBp

— Spice DAO (🏜,🏜) (@TheSpiceDAO) January 15, 2022

Television is steering away from the mystery box model. You know those shows like LOST that just have mysteries wrapped in more mysteries and even the writers haven’t a clue what the answers are.

They’ve been replaced by the Manning brothers like everything else.

Read more at Vox.

Prepare to facepalm. Whedon says he’s not a supercreep and that Gal Gadot just misunderstood him, because English isn’t her first language .

Thanks for the mansplain!

Read more at Mediaite.

This is a long way from holy water.

Nah bruh not the holy spit when it’s Covid outside b smh oh we fighting on the pulpit bro 🤢🤢🤢 pic.twitter.com/qfB6IjbIe9

— Music is my Soul🎼 (@DapaDon) January 16, 2022

Vice says only boomers use Gifs and that they are tres uncool.

Why do the zoomers think everyone else is a boomer?

Read more at Vice.

The Daily Show collected some of the best worst Martin Luther King day sales and promotions, like that one store that put everything on sale that was black.

MLK would love this since he gave his life for commerce.

Via Digg.

MsSweeneys thinks that they can tell a lot about your personality based on your favorite Sad Dad Band. What’s a sad dad band? LCD Soundsystem, Pearl Jam, Wilco, Father John Misty, Arcade Fire, Modest Mouse, Pixies, REM to name a few.

And The White Stripes are a sad daddy band.

Read more at McSweeneys.