45. They Had 45 tourists roll through in the first 10 months of 2021. Souvenir shops will never recover from this. Or the guys selling stepped on coke on the beach.

Read more at Insider.

It was discovered this week that there’s water on Mars and apparently lots of it underneath the Mars equivalent of the Grand Canyon.

Unfortunately it turned out to just be two cases of Death Water that some kids left behind.

Read more at CNET.

Former CEO Steve Easterbrook will have to repay his severance package to McDonalds Corporation. He’ll have to forfeit $105 million after it was determined that he lied about the extent of his relationships with company employees.

You couldn’t just bang someone from Burger King? #badadadada

Read more at CNN.

There’s a cream cheese shortage, so scores of people will be unable to make their favorite dessert, cheesecake, for the holidays. So Kraft will pay you to get something else. You can go to their website to see how to score a 20.

I’ve never made a cheeecake. Can I get a c-note?

Read more at CNN.

After a number of partygoers tested positive for Covid, it appears that this year’s Buzzfeed holiday party was a superspreader event.

Can’t wait to read “12 Ways to Tell You Got Covid at Your Holiday Party”

Read more at mediaite.

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The NFL Players Association wants the league to push back the Raiders/Browns game due to all the positive covid tests. And some players think the league should be shut down for the week. Instead, Roger Goodell will be instituting Tuesday and Wednesday Night Football. That’ll teach them.

Read more on Twitter.

Also, the NFLPA is currently pushing aggressively for a postponement of the Raiders-Browns game on Saturday. Some in the union believe the entire season should shut down for a week. The union is concerned about player safety and game integrity.

— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) December 16, 2021

Twitter is loving how a small bar and restaurant in Kansas City is dealing with an incident with Patrick Mahomes little brother Jackson. The bar had to eat shit from Jackson who made a video on Instagram bitching about how the restaurant had shitty service and treated him badly. The restaurant ought back on social media, with a long rant including “We survived a global pandemic, we’ll survive your ego.”

Ever notice that social media is pretty anti-social?

Read more at barstool sports.

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

“We are sorry you have the reach you do, and that instead of using it for something positive you decided to try and crush a small business.

We survived a pandemic, we’ll survive your ego.”

Well said, and screw you @jacksonmahomes. https://t.co/POqsUl9B2I

— Kyle Levy (@kylelevy123) December 16, 2021

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Eric Clapton sued a woman for selling a bootleg CD of his music on Ebay and won and she’s required to pay both their legal fees which’ll come out to about four grand. WHen you think Eric Clapton couldn’t get MORE likable, he blows us all away.

Read more at the Independent.

Two months after the deadly shooting on the set of Rust, police have issued a warrant for access to Alec Baldwin’s phone in connection with the investigation. He better delete all those Hilaria nudes off it first.

Read more at Deadline.

No, this one’s not about Randall Pink Floyd. This is a surprise treasure trove of live Pink Floyd albums being released on streaming services. Twelve live albums from the early 70’s were added with no prior announcements covering the albums Atom Heart Mother, Meddle and Obscured by Clouds.

So it’s all the songs we don’t want to hear, poorly recorded. Woo.

Read more at rollingstone.

Don’t want to be alone to celebrate Betty White turning 100? You don’t have to. You can celebrate with strangers at a one night only in theater event: “Betty White: 100 Years Young — A Birthday Celebration.” The one night only special will be shown in 900 cinemas nationwide on Jan. 17.

Guess gay New Year’s Eve starts late this year.

Read more at NY Post.

John Cleese walked out of this interview with a BBC reporter, and he’s planning to lodge a complaint after she wouldn’t stop asking him about cancel culture. A question about Dave Chappelle’s new special set off the comedy legend who promptly walked out.

Please leave John Cleese alone. He’s an old man and he’s very cranky.

Big acts with big ticket prices are seeing around a 20% no show rates at concerts these days. People are buying tickets and then skipping the show, leaving a concerning number of empty seats.

They’ve never heard of stub hub?

Read more at wsj.

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Scientists asked, why is it that we vary our lunches and dinners but tend to eat the same breakfast every day.

If its between the snooze button and planning a creative breakfast, guess which wins.

Read more at foodandwine.