The 5: Lisa Curry’s Top 5 Most 80’s Commercials of the 1980s
Lisa Curry’s debut album, “Alive For a While” was recorded live in London in the midst of a two month, nine-country tour that she produced entirely on her own. She’s written for NBC, TruTV, and Comedy Central, where she was a staff writer on ‘The Jim Jefferies Show.’ Lisa opens for Jim on his current theatre tour between her own headlining weekends. Her comedy album is on the ballot for next year’s Grammy® nominations. Voting is open to members of the Recording Academy through November 5th. She’d love it if you’ll give it a listen and consider voting for her.
For this week’s edition of THE 5, Lisa put together her five favorite commercials from the 1980’s. See how many you can recall
Top 5 Commercials of the 1980s
Folgers:
Sure, Folgers is objectively terrible. (unless they want to send me free coffee), but I’ll bet that more Americans know this jingle than know all the words to the National Anthem. In the hierarchy of coffee, Folgers is somewhere between 7/11 and the burned coffee you’d find at a half-abandoned gas station on a remote, country road. Regardless of quality, Folgers has endured as America’s most recognizable coffee and tens of thousands of people across the country sing the perfectly catchy jingle in their head most mornings as they brew their much tastier, artisanal coffee at home.
Oldsmobile:
You’ve gotta love the ‘80s for marketing every car like a sex machine, regardless of style. The Van Halen rip off of a jingle gives you the impression that Tawny Kitean might step out of the passenger seat, tossing her hair around wildly in a post sex frenzy. In reality, any man trying to pick up women with a hot car would be better off catcalling from a skateboard than this bonafide Grocery Getter. The type of man who thinks this car will help him pick up chicks, is absolutely the guy who’ll step out of it wearing socks with sandals. It isn’t entirely without sex appeal, however. With it’s roomy interior, it’s the perfect vehicle for roadside sex, or, more likely, watching a drive in movie with your family.
Tootsie Pop:
Anyone thirty five and over will be instantly transported back to childhood with this Saturday morning classic. It’s not remotely catchy and the animation isn’t particularly impressive but that doesn’t matter when you’re in a Good Memory Time Machine. It’s so important to my generation that Lil’ Kim wrote a whole damn song called, ‘How Many Licks?’ Granted, it has nothing to do with hard candy, but everyone who knows it, knows the hook is what made it onto Billboard’s Hot 100. This commercial is singularly responsible for making Tootsie Pop the favorite hard candy of people who have only a rudimentary understanding of social media.
Apple:
This absolutely haunting debut commercial feels like an ad for the end of the world and makes me suspicious of anyone who saw it and thought, “I should buy stock in this company.” Although, if you did, please get a hold of me. I’m ready to be a kept woman. Looking back at this from 2021, it drips with irony. A company boasting about the end of ‘1984’ that later goes on to monitor your every move and send you ads for things you’ve only ever thought about. The logo for Apple should be changed to A+. Excellent work all around.
Brooke Shields for Calvin Klein:
This is possibly the most iconic commercial of the 1980s. It’s everything I aim to be: simple, sexy, scandalous. If this ad came out today, there’s no chance we’d be having a national conversation about it. First off, it originally aired on cable TV, which now only exists to broadcast reruns of ‘Night Court’ to Boomers. And who could care about a woman not wearing panties under her jeans when we’re preparing for the end of mankind? Certainly not me, as I’m too focused on being that alluring while the world ends.
Bonus: The Super Bowl Shuffle:
Technically, this is a music video, but you could argue that it’s a commercial for talking a big game and then following through on it. The ‘85-’86 Chicago Bears put their proverbial dicks on the table when they released this on the heels of a loss. After this aired, they went on to win every game for the rest of the season, including the Super Bowl. Not only did it kick off an incredibly impressive winning streak, but the song went gold, was nominated for a Grammy, and raised over $300,000 for charity. All things considered, this may be the best song of all time.
Speaking of Grammy nominees, did I mention my debut comedy album, ‘Alive For a While’ is on the ballot of nominees for next year’s Grammy’s? I worked really hard on it and I’m not a sex pest. Please consider helping me get revenge on my enemies with a nomination.
