Saturday October 16: Daily Links

SATURDAY 10.9
NEWS STORIES
Shoplifting is Skyrocketing and Drug Stores Are Helpless
The NYPD says there are already 6000 more reports of shoplifting in the city this year than all of 2020. Drug stores seem to be getting the worst of it, and not pharmaceuticals- people are stealing aspirin, toothpaste, toilet paper- whatever they can carry.
Honey do you need anything from Walgreens? I’m going shoplifting.
Covid-19 is Killing More 35-54 Year Olds Than Anything Else
Last month Covid 19 became the #1 killer of Americans aged 35 to 54. If you look across all age brackets, Covid was the #2 cause of death.
#1 was Brian Laundrie
New Zealand Retires Their Wizard
After two decades of service the country of New Zealand has parted ways with their Wizard.
The next Lord of the Rings movie is gonna suck.
RIP American Cheese. Thanks Millennials
American fast food chains are distancing themselves away from using classic American cheese and moving on to Asiago, Swiss, and Gouda. Is nothing sacred?
more stories coming soon
everything
SPORTS
Aaron Rodgers Will Never Play for Chicago
The Green Bay QB says there is only one team he could never play for, and thats The Bears.
“I’ve always enjoyed the city, enjoyed the fans even though they haven’t enjoyed me, I get it,” Rodgers said. “Maybe there’ll be a little more love when my time comes to an end playing here. But I do have a lot of respect for the city and the sports.”
Unfortunately after last summer we don’t believe a goddamn thing you say.
Did Ben Simmons Fake Covid Exposure?
ESPN suggested that maybe the 76er faked exposure to Covid to avoid playing game 7 against the Hawks.
He would have played better if he had COVID.
He Shoved It Up Our Butt!
MVP Cody Bellinger had the best line of the season in an interview after the Dodgers sent the Giants home. “Huge props to Logan Webb… he shoved it up our butt twice” he said.
It’s always great to hear about anal on a post game interview.
"Huge props to Logan Webb… he shoved it up our butt twice" – Cody Bellinger pic.twitter.com/ggqQdknBxw
— Internet #BlackLivesMatter (@cjzero) October 15, 2021
More Gruden Emails Released And He Did NOT Like Kaepernick
Some more Gruden emails have been released and the newest ones should be surprising to no one at this point – he emailed Bruce Allen, “They suspend people for taking amino acids, they should cut this f**k”. Maybe a Gruden/Kaepernick Odd Couple reboot can be pitched to ESPN+.
No Shit Report: NFL Sez Only Gruden Said Anything Bad In 650k Emails
The NFL ASSURES us that Gruden was the ONLY person in the 650k email dump to say anything controversial, reports ESPN. NOTHING TO SEE HERE PEOPLE, MOVE ON. Bruce Allen must not have responded to any of Gruden’s emails and everyone else in the league is a saint.
CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT
Roger Waters Married His Driver
Fifth time a charm. Former Pink Floyd front man married Kamiliah Chavis. She’s the fifth to become Mrs. Roger Waters. “I’m so happy, finally a keeper” he wrote on his IG
Keeper? Between his marriages and his band Waters is as close as it comes to a professional break up artist.
Lizzo Tells Haters To Kiss Her Fat Black Ass
Ultra sheer dresses on women with perfect bodies are all the rage, and Lizzo wanted in on that. Hf course, haters gotta hate, but Lizzo told them to “Kiss my fat black ass.”
Now, thanks ot that dress, we know exactly where your fat black ass is.
Hannah Gadsby Takes a Flamethrower to Netflix Boss Over Chappelle Special
Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos defended The Closer by saying the platform offers all kinds of content to appeal to different people and name checked Hannah Gadsby as one example of that diversity. Gadsby did not appreciate it. “I would prefer if you didn’t drag my name into your mess,” she said, adding that now she has to deal with the anger of Dave’s fans. “Fuck you and your amoral algorithm cult…I do shits with more back bone than you.”
I’ll bet you do. Sounds like a great name for your next special.
Read more at Instagram.
Fans Recognize Cosplay Adam Savage at Comic Con
Savage was wandering Comic Con dressed as a Ghostbuster, but even a covid mask, ghostbusting suit and goggles didn’t stop Mythbusters fans from noticing him.
What the fuck kind of world is there where Adam Savage can’t hide but Mick Jagger can sing karaoke unnoticed.
more stories coming soon
everything
more stories coming soon
everything
VIRAL & TRENDING
Karen FURIOUS Over $35 Sale
This shrew of a woman berates a young girl behind the counter over something she bought but can’t use.
Now tell me again…why are people quitting shitty retail jobs?
@carterclements1 Karen #karen
Giant Squid Caught Exploring a Wreck
Super squid seen checking out a shipwreck int eh bottom of the ocean.
Netflix will stop at nothing to promote this stupid show.
STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS
Good Blood Pressure Keeps Your Brain Young
If you have good healthy blood pressure, your brain will stay younger than the rest of you.
But none of that is as important as good tire pressure.
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