The feds are looking into Richard Branson’s space flight, because he deviated from the flight plan, veering off course during the descent. Now he has to prove his flight posed no safety risk and until he does he cannot fly again.

In his defense, it’s hard to navigate space when you’re drunk.

Read more at CNN.

GoDaddy told the Texas Whistleblower Anti- Abortion website to go find a new web provider and Lyft promises they will pay 100% of legal fees of any Lyft driver who gets sued under Texas’s new hateful law.

And thousands of protestors have flooded the website with troll tips, rendering it essentially useless. Some are even writing scripts to help amplify the number of complaints that get through.

Welcome to Gilead Texas.

Read more at Vice & Mediaite

Jacob Chansley decided to plead guilty to one Federal charge for his role in the January 6 riots, but his family is convinced that once Trump is reinstated as the rightful president, he will pardon him.

So it’s like a delusion wrapped up inside a crazy fantasy.

With a family like this, you end up shirtless with a deer head as a hat.

Read more at Mediaite.

“Q-siblings– a Q-spouse, Q-parents. What does it mean to have Q-family?” For a lot of people it means figuring out how to cut ties.

Why can’t they just be on Oxycontin like all the other rednecks?

Read more at cbs news.

Di Fara and Roberta’s are both in Brooklyn but now you can go to the Lower East Side to a place called Nimbus- a take out and delivery space where both pizzerias operate ghost kitchens

I’m at the Pizza Hut. I’m at the Taco Bell. I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

Read more at NY Post.

Someone posted a video of a woman in a bikini in an airport. They say she was riding Spirit but Spirit insists she couldn’t have been on their plane.

“This account often falsely attributes photos and videos to Spirit Airlines,” the rep told The Post. “The video could have been taken at any time or any place and it has no identifying characteristic of any airline. I checked, and we have no record of this on file.”

Ma’am you’re going to have to put on your PJs.

Read more at NY Post

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Someone in the Royal Family screwed up and the details of what will happen once the Queen dies have been leaked out. Think this is Meghan’s fault too?

Read more at The Sun.

On Friday, Fox 29 anchor Mike Jerrick decided he would just kind of borrow that joke that went viral on Twitter. “We just got in footage of Ben Simmons leaving hastily out of Philadelphia, let’s take a look at this,” Jerrick said while showing video of a dumpster cruising down a river of floodwater.

And the Mets complain about their fans? They have it easy.

Read more at The Big Lead

Footage of Ben Simmons leaving Philly pic.twitter.com/6KxAMM9aUo

— Anthony Moore (@AllThatandMoore) September 2, 2021

Philadelphia news is really different 💀

“We just got in footage of Ben Simmons hastily fleeing Philadelphia.” pic.twitter.com/vGduW4DEeo

— ProCity Hoops (@ProCityHoops) September 3, 2021

Face you would all rather be at a Metallica concert.

Absolute goosebump CITY pic.twitter.com/Ggt8nGWyZD

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) September 3, 2021

COLLEGE FOOTBALL pic.twitter.com/dkBpnPv6ru

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) September 3, 2021

If you’ve seen one you’ve seem them all. Most men propose on the Jumbotron, but this guy dumped his chick in front of a stadium full of people.

If you’re shocked, don’t worry because this is about as real as all those proposals.

Read more at Newsweek.

Akron Rubberducks hosting "Tim and Alyssa Night" in honor of viral jumbotron breakup https://t.co/6yFdBPtAHJ pic.twitter.com/HuUNZijg1F

— Nordonia Hills News (@NHillsNews) September 2, 2021

T.O has joined Only Fans. He must have heard that they’re allowing sex again. Jerry Jones will be his first subscriber.

Read more at CNBC.

Tom Brady Makes A Drake Joke?

Tom Brady’s meme assistant is working overtime as he tweeted this out about not being on Drake’s new album. Someone please just take away his phone.

Read the tweet at iHeart.

Feel kind of left out to be honest 😂 Congrats bro! @Drake 🐐 pic.twitter.com/yBiotfoSib

— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) September 3, 2021

Sweet Thing director Alexandre Rockwell now says he feels safe to talk about Weinstein, who he calls an ogre, and says abused everyone, even Quentin Tarantino. When he worked with Weinstein on Four Rooms, he says Harvey tracked him down at a dentist telling the Dr to break his teeth. And he witnessed the producer “eating 10 hotdogs like sushi, dipping them in butter. And this student was rubbing ointment on boils the size of lemons.”

But other than that… he was not a good guy.

Read more at The Guardian.

We’re all so desperate for a good movie.

I NEED THIS HOW DO I GET THIS pic.twitter.com/oKUU5dx4eR

— Daniel Benneworth-Gray (@gray) September 2, 2021

The 60 minute Rick and Morty season finale airs this week and the actor behind the character that inspired half of that duo jumped on board to promote the episode. Lloyd plays Sanchez, which is a character inspired by Doc Brown in Back to the Future, who was played by Christopher Lloyd.

Jaeden Martell plays Morty.

How meta can meta get?

C-132 #rickandmorty pic.twitter.com/oq54C9C5TW

— adult swim (@adultswim) September 3, 2021

Anyone loving this will enjoy going back to the Rick and Morty precursor- Doc and Mharti.

If you jerked off all over yourself after reading those first two Twitter reviews saying Dune is the best thing that ever happened on film, here’s more to read.

Didn’t we just hear the same thing about suicide squad?

Via digg.

I’ve watched #Dune & it’s among the most immersive moviegoing experiences I’ve ever had w/ a sci-fi film. There is masterful filmmaking on display here. When paired w/ its big, monstrous sound, the film wondrously transports you to a new, exciting, horrific yet beautiful world pic.twitter.com/Z0oNUJbiNE

— Erik Davis (@ErikDavis) September 3, 2021

DUNE Part One is remarkable, stunning, immersive & a truly masterful cinematic achievement. Villeneuve simultaneously created one of the most intimate yet large scale productions I've ever seen. Zimmer's score is an absolute all-timer. Pure cinematic bliss on every single level. pic.twitter.com/UFoEGRE4kI

— Kevin McCarthy (@KevinMcCarthyTV) September 3, 2021

Whoa Tori Spelling Looks Like a Kardashian!

They’re calling Tori unrecognizable, all done up for a night out.

I didn’t recognize tori spelling when she was recognizable.

Read more at PageSix.

Tori Spelling looks unrecognizable during night out https://t.co/4FYkujytUo pic.twitter.com/Tizmv1Ch7Q

— Page Six (@PageSix) September 3, 2021

everything

EVERYTHING

everything

everything