Rising hospitalizations have caused France to shut down.

In other news, they’re doing body shots in Florida.

Read more at huffpost.

No longer will you have to leave your car to get thick deep dish greasy pizza. The future is drive thru.

Guys do you know how long it takes to cook a pizza?

Read more at foodandwine.

During a hearing for antitrust violations by the NCAA, the newest Supreme Court Justice said its disturbing that college players don’t get paid given the ridiculous revenues that college play generates.

On the other hand he was just drunk.

Read more at mediaite.

Up to 15 million doses of Johnson & Johnson’s vaccine were contaminated several weeks ago in a Baltimore plant, causing delays of shipment of the doses.

As bad as this sounds Johnson and Johnson is probably just happy to bury some of the other articles about their vaccine.

Read more at nytimes.com.

Amtrak is already planning their spending with that infrastructure cash, proposing 30 new routes, 20 enhanced routes, 20 million more riders a year and better service to our secondary cities.

Biden loves trains as much a 5 year old boy and Amtrak is ready to cash in on that. Better luck next time, South Dakota and Wyoming.

Amtrak's response to the Biden infra plan: https://t.co/b8qRz4LIve

Proposes:
-30+ new routes
-20+ enhanced existing routes
-20m more annual riders
-Better service to cities like HOU, ATL, Cincy
-New service to unserved cities like Las Vegas, Nashville, Columbus, Phoenix pic.twitter.com/Di9BmnCsfr

— Yonah Freemark (@yfreemark) March 31, 2021

The fun went south fast as a plane carrying the news of the gender for a new life suddenly started plummeting toward the water in the Caribbean sea off the coast of Mexico. Two pilots died after their plane revealed “It’s a girl!”

Honestly the fact that blue and pink each have an ongoing death tally is a sign gender reveals have to be stopped.

Read more at nypost.com.

Now that Cleveland dropped “Indians” from their team name, they’re cracking down on fans. No face paint or headdresses of the indian variety. Violations of the new rules could result in ejection.

And Cleveland will still suck.

Read more at WKBN

Two more lawsuits accuse Watson, bringing the total to 21, but female masseurs have signed statements that Watson was not inappropriate with them.

What human has 39 masseurs? Couldn’t this guy find 1 or 2 to work with? How many barbers do you have? 36?

Read more at usatoday.

Brady one upped coach Bruce Arian’s World Champ tattoo with a fake image of his new coach.

Tom why don’t you take the off season off. Thanks dude! See you in august.

Read more at foxnews.

Looks great coach…I decided to get one too https://t.co/mZgyCmUaLZ pic.twitter.com/GiIERlQo3Z

— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) March 31, 2021

The young Conway is done with American Idol but she sure knows how to get attention. She’s been TikToking from the hospital with a suspected case of Appendicitis. She seems ok, dancing, flexing with IV and quoting Lil Baby.

Hopefully her mom will put out a picture of her bare appendix.

Read more at tmz.

“Think I’ll have a heart attack. Better ingredients, Better pizza used to be a way of life, now its just a slogan, makes me sick. ”

Hey pops J. Who you kidding. You know we could never tell the difference between the pizza and the box.

I just discovered that Papa John has a tiktok and it is somehow even more bleak and deranged than I would have expected pic.twitter.com/Q9xssIC8dG

— frankie the wop (@mustachetoilet) March 31, 2021

Axes and hatchets through walls, with people on other side. The ground covered in sheetrock rubble and everyone coated in dust. All part of the fun of demolishing an abandoned house.

Hey guys, you’re 50.

Read more at LA Taco.

A new method of demolition I've yet to see in #HistoricFilipinotown. Invite a bunch of people to knock down the walls and break all the windows while a former member of Sublime and his band plays music. pic.twitter.com/AwC8GV17Gz

— Lexis-Olivier Ray (@ShotOn35mm) March 29, 2021

Netflix spent $400 million for a pair of sequels to the hit movie Knives Out.

Don’t you realize you could have gotten half a Dave Chappelle special for the same price?

Read more at the wrap.

Well, if you take on of your boyfriend Elon Musk’s rockets it seems like that could very well happen.

Read more at dailystar.

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everything

Thanks to the work of fruit influencers, the Japanese Sumo Citrus fruit is blowing up. It looks like small wrinkly orange and tastes like a sweet mandarin, and Instagram Influencers have blown up the fruit into a $62 million dollar business last year.

My fruit influencer just got me into apples.

Read more at cnn.

Somebody got video of a woman passed out in a subway, somewhere (some say Montreal, others NYC) while a rat ate out of her mouth.

This is still better than a papa johns pizza in your mouth.

Respect to any state who’s actually mixing and blending drinks at home this year instead of taking straight bottle to face while crying and watching the news.

Via digg.

The Most Popular Cocktail In Every State During The Pandemic https://t.co/pDBYaktMpZ pic.twitter.com/hmfmA4keKm

— nancy02129 (@nancy02129) March 31, 2021