Friday March 5: Daily Links

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FRIDAY 3.5

NEWS STORIES

Rioter to Judge: Not Fair!

Remember that dude who put his feet on Nancy Pelosi’s desk during the Capitol riots? In a court date this week, he screamed at the judge that its not fair that he was still sitting in jail while others had been released.

Remember when revolutionaries didn’t whine so much?

Read more at nbcnews.com.

AI programmed LiterCams Will Catch Trash Throwers in the Act in the UK

Technology has to police us from destroying this planet because god knows we’re all doing a shitty job.

Warner CEO Apologizes for Telling the Truth at Tech Conference

Warner Media CEO Jason Kilar apologized for saying Covid was good for ratings for CNN during his keynote address at a Tech Media and Telecom Conference.

He said, “‘If you take a look at the ratings and the performance, it’s going well. I think it’s going well because A. the team at CNN is doing a fantastic job and B. it turns out the pandemic and the way that we can inform and help contextualize the business is really good for ratings.’

For once it’s not fake news and everyone’s still mad at him.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

Snorkler Finds A Lot of Cocaine Off Florida Keys

Some guy found 70 lbs of cocaine worth about $1.5 million while snorkling around the Florida Keys on Wednesday and went straight to the police.

In Florida, everyone knows when we find the coke, you don’t report it. You go home, close the blinds, and phone a friend.

Read more at newsweek.

SPORTS

Has Tom Brady Seen Dem Aliens?

Colin Cowherd made fun of Baker Mayfield for saying he was almost 100% sure he saw a UFO. When Cowherd said he prefered QB’s who didn’t talk about alien sightings, like Joe Montana, Troy Aikman, Terry Bradshaw & Tom Brady, Brady came to Baker’s defense. “How do you know I’ve never seen aliens Colin?” he tweeted.

I would prefer my quarterback has never seen Colin Cowherd.

Read more at USATODAY.

Team Lebron and Team Durant Drafted for NBA All Star Game

Team Durant is Brooklyn Nets strong and Team Lebron is full of killers but all Charles Barkley cares about is somehow Utah Jazz are the kids picked last?!?

Read more at cbssports.

CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT

Alec Baldwin Deleted His Twitter....Again

Hey everybody. Alec Baldwin is DONE with Twitter, that place all the “assholes go to get their degrees in assholiness.” He explained the decision in a weird rambling hypnotic ten minute video he recorded on his drive home from work, and posted to Instagram, because Instagram I guess is different.

Shocking to see Alec Baldwin make a knee jerk decision.

Read more at huffpost.

Edie Falco to Play Hillary Clinton

Edie Falco, best known as Carmella Soprano has been cast to play former first lady and Presidential candidate Hilary Clinton for FX’s ‘Impeachment: American Crime Story’

She always ends up with the worst men, doesn’t she?

Read more at THR.

Sarah Silverman Apologizes to Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton graciously accepted the apology this week offered by Sarah Silverman. This latest apology was for making a mean joke about Paris at the MTV Movie Awards in 2007. Just before that she apologized to Britney Spears.

Should she just change her name to Sorry Silverman?

Read more at people.

Tom Morello Crushes Troll

RATM’s Tom Morello was accused of showing his “white privilege” when he talked about being friends with conservative musician Ted Nugent. Tom clapped back, “I’m not white” on Twitter.

Okay Tom, but you can understand that the whitest thing anyone can do is be friends with Ted Nugent.

Read more at uproxx.

Internet Debates Whether Anna Taylor Joy is White

Variety called Anna Taylor Joy a woman of color. The internet said, not so fast.

Thought we weren’t supposed to see color? I think she looks exactly like Tom Morello.

Read more at designtaxi.

Watch This Documini About the Lost 3 Hour Version of Uncle Buck

John Hughes had made a three hour version of Uncle Buck that none of us ever saw. Hats Off Entertainment made a little shortie doc about it.

Uncle Buck? At 180 minutes, its more like Uncle Suck.

Some Folks are Not too Happy with Lola Bunny’s Desexualized Redesign for SpaceJam Sequel

You guys know there are websites for that right??

Kate and William will Join the Queen for Rare TV Special

It’s airing just hours before Megan and Harry’s Oprah interview

If you listen hard enough to you can hear the sound of The Crown’s writing staff furiously drafting the next season.

Read more at thesun.co.uk.

Rudy's Daughter Loves Threesomes

Rudy Giuliani’s daughter Caroline says she’s Pansexual and shares why she loves threesomes

Every family has that one weirdo who brings shame to the family. For Giulianis..it’s Rudy.

https://pagesix.com/2021/03/04/rudy-giulianis-daughter-caroline-details-why-she-loves-threesomes/

YouTuber Drew Golden Explores the Death of Sitcom Laugh Tracks

Laugh tracks to seem dated but can we at least keep that one when a couple kisses and we get a solid “ooooooOoooOooooOOOooo!!!!”

Banksy Uses Bob Ross Audio to Debut and Claim Credit for his Prison Wall Artwork

Prisoners didn’t really break the law, they just made a few “happy little accidents”

VIRAL VIRAL

Woman Finds Creepy Secret Room Behind Her Bathroom Mirror

This woman felt a draft and investigated, and discovered a hidden room behind the mirror in her bathroom. She decided to creep inside.

She’s just lucky she didn’t end up in another dimension! Did she learn nothing from Poltergeist?

STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS

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Interrobang Staff

Interrobang Staff