Friday March 5: Daily Links

FRIDAY 3.5
NEWS STORIES
Rioter to Judge: Not Fair!
Remember that dude who put his feet on Nancy Pelosi’s desk during the Capitol riots? In a court date this week, he screamed at the judge that its not fair that he was still sitting in jail while others had been released.
Remember when revolutionaries didn’t whine so much?
BOOM: Here it is. Richard Barnett, alleged US Capitol Insurrectionist who put his feet on Nancy Pelosi’s desk, *screamed* this at a judge and attorneys in his DC court hearing this morning===> pic.twitter.com/pJ6bMfRn9P
— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) March 4, 2021
AI programmed LiterCams Will Catch Trash Throwers in the Act in the UK
Technology has to police us from destroying this planet because god knows we’re all doing a shitty job.
Warner CEO Apologizes for Telling the Truth at Tech Conference
Warner Media CEO Jason Kilar apologized for saying Covid was good for ratings for CNN during his keynote address at a Tech Media and Telecom Conference.
He said, “‘If you take a look at the ratings and the performance, it’s going well. I think it’s going well because A. the team at CNN is doing a fantastic job and B. it turns out the pandemic and the way that we can inform and help contextualize the business is really good for ratings.’
For once it’s not fake news and everyone’s still mad at him.
I agree Joe. I would like nothing more than for this pandemic to be well behind us. I mean that with every fiber in my body. I wish I could go back and be more thoughtful about my communication.
— Jason Kilar (@jasonkilar) March 4, 2021
Happy to. I am sorry for the sentence and for uttering it. My apologies. Thx for highlighting it and holding me accountable.
— Jason Kilar (@jasonkilar) March 4, 2021
Snorkler Finds A Lot of Cocaine Off Florida Keys
Some guy found 70 lbs of cocaine worth about $1.5 million while snorkling around the Florida Keys on Wednesday and went straight to the police.
In Florida, everyone knows when we find the coke, you don’t report it. You go home, close the blinds, and phone a friend.
SPORTS
Has Tom Brady Seen Dem Aliens?
Colin Cowherd made fun of Baker Mayfield for saying he was almost 100% sure he saw a UFO. When Cowherd said he prefered QB’s who didn’t talk about alien sightings, like Joe Montana, Troy Aikman, Terry Bradshaw & Tom Brady, Brady came to Baker’s defense. “How do you know I’ve never seen aliens Colin?” he tweeted.
I would prefer my quarterback has never seen Colin Cowherd.
How do you know I’ve never seen aliens Colin? https://t.co/j4ycqKQdDV
— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) March 4, 2021
Team Lebron and Team Durant Drafted for NBA All Star Game
Team Durant is Brooklyn Nets strong and Team Lebron is full of killers but all Charles Barkley cares about is somehow Utah Jazz are the kids picked last?!?
CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT
Alec Baldwin Deleted His Twitter....Again
Hey everybody. Alec Baldwin is DONE with Twitter, that place all the “assholes go to get their degrees in assholiness.” He explained the decision in a weird rambling hypnotic ten minute video he recorded on his drive home from work, and posted to Instagram, because Instagram I guess is different.
Shocking to see Alec Baldwin make a knee jerk decision.
Edie Falco to Play Hillary Clinton
Edie Falco, best known as Carmella Soprano has been cast to play former first lady and Presidential candidate Hilary Clinton for FX’s ‘Impeachment: American Crime Story’
She always ends up with the worst men, doesn’t she?
Sarah Silverman Apologizes to Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton graciously accepted the apology this week offered by Sarah Silverman. This latest apology was for making a mean joke about Paris at the MTV Movie Awards in 2007. Just before that she apologized to Britney Spears.
Should she just change her name to Sorry Silverman?
Tom Morello Crushes Troll
RATM’s Tom Morello was accused of showing his “white privilege” when he talked about being friends with conservative musician Ted Nugent. Tom clapped back, “I’m not white” on Twitter.
Okay Tom, but you can understand that the whitest thing anyone can do is be friends with Ted Nugent.
I’m not white. https://t.co/BG9nv0AChW
— Tom Morello (@tmorello) March 4, 2021
Internet Debates Whether Anna Taylor Joy is White
Variety called Anna Taylor Joy a woman of color. The internet said, not so fast.
Thought we weren’t supposed to see color? I think she looks exactly like Tom Morello.
Watch This Documini About the Lost 3 Hour Version of Uncle Buck
John Hughes had made a three hour version of Uncle Buck that none of us ever saw. Hats Off Entertainment made a little shortie doc about it.
Uncle Buck? At 180 minutes, its more like Uncle Suck.
Some Folks are Not too Happy with Lola Bunny’s Desexualized Redesign for SpaceJam Sequel
You guys know there are websites for that right??
Lola Bunny redesign from 1996 > 2021 pic.twitter.com/Uc4uBX7FCT
— SB® (@drakecereal) March 4, 2021
Kate and William will Join the Queen for Rare TV Special
It’s airing just hours before Megan and Harry’s Oprah interview
If you listen hard enough to you can hear the sound of The Crown’s writing staff furiously drafting the next season.
Rudy's Daughter Loves Threesomes
Rudy Giuliani’s daughter Caroline says she’s Pansexual and shares why she loves threesomes
Every family has that one weirdo who brings shame to the family. For Giulianis..it’s Rudy.
https://pagesix.com/2021/03/04/rudy-giulianis-daughter-caroline-details-why-she-loves-threesomes/
YouTuber Drew Golden Explores the Death of Sitcom Laugh Tracks
Laugh tracks to seem dated but can we at least keep that one when a couple kisses and we get a solid “ooooooOoooOooooOOOooo!!!!”
Banksy Uses Bob Ross Audio to Debut and Claim Credit for his Prison Wall Artwork
Prisoners didn’t really break the law, they just made a few “happy little accidents”
VIRAL VIRAL
Woman Finds Creepy Secret Room Behind Her Bathroom Mirror
This woman felt a draft and investigated, and discovered a hidden room behind the mirror in her bathroom. She decided to creep inside.
She’s just lucky she didn’t end up in another dimension! Did she learn nothing from Poltergeist?
LOOK AT WHAT SHE FOUND IN HER NYC APARTMENT pic.twitter.com/gmU3w5jRxU
— Chey the Shooter (@CheyMillz) March 4, 2021
WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK pic.twitter.com/J4UdHAWCIz
— Chey the Shooter (@CheyMillz) March 4, 2021
HERE IS PART 3 pic.twitter.com/4aPy1tc2I7
— Chey the Shooter (@CheyMillz) March 4, 2021
THE FINALE: pic.twitter.com/CVXZbAMZjp
— Chey the Shooter (@CheyMillz) March 4, 2021
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