The Funniest People on the Planet Make The Funniest Predictions in the Universe for Football’s Biggest Game of the Year: 2021 Edition: Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs Kansas City Chiefs
Yes!!! It’s that time again! The day when we team up with SiriusXM’s Bennington show for Super Bowl Sunday to deliver the most important Super Bowl predictions anywhere! Are they accurate? NO! Will they win you money? NOT LIKELY! But will they be entertaining? PROBABLY!
We may not deliver winning bets, but we always deliver the best comedy coverage of the biggest sports event of the year.
This year Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs return to the big game hoping for a repeat win, but to do that, they’ll have to beat Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Brady vs Mahomes, The Dynasty vs The Hot Young Guns, The Big Guava vs of the Plains, the Midwest vs the south, the Red Team vs the Red Team and BBQ vs Grouper. Its still Any Given Sunday and the only thing we know for sure is that the Patriots aren’t in it, so they can’t win it.
It’s Super Bowl 55, and we’ve got predictions from 40 of the funniest comedians on the planet. Read and listen to those predictions right here, right now. Who ya got?
And without further interruption, here are the picks!
THEY PICKED THE BUCS! (14)
Pete Lee. Tampa Bay 69. Kansas City 0.
I think the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are going to win because I Just got a parrot. It’s a rescue by the way and its sitting on my shoulder right now and it refuses to let me think that anyone other than the TBB are going to win. They are going to win by a score of 69 to 0 and then we’re all going to do tequila shots out of Tom Brady’s butt chin.
Jessica Kirson. Tampa Bay 68. Kansas City 4.
Hi, this is Jessica Kirson, I think the Bucs are going to win. I think the score will probably be about 68-4 and I just think they’re going to win because ….I don’t know. I don’t really know that much about football but every time I hear the word Chief, I think of like a macho guy, like HEY CHIEF so I just hope the Bucs kick their ass.
Robby Slowik. Tampa Bay 31. Kansas City 17.
This one’s easy for me because I am proudly from Tampa Bay. Not a lot of people are proudly from Tampa Bay but I’m one of them. I think we’ve got the second greatest quarterback of all time playing. Right behind Brad Johnson, the Super Bowl Champion Bucs quarterback from 2003. I say Bucs take it over the Chiefs 31 to 17.
Chris Distefano. Tampa Bay 21. Kansas City 10.
I got the Tampa Bay Bucs beating the Kansas City Chiefs 21 to 10 because those are the Super Bowl boxes I picked.
Robert Kelly. Tampa Bay 28. Kansas City 20.
Okay let me tell you something about this Super Bowl. This Super Bowl is twofold for me. Its my worst nightmare come true. That my quarterback, my baby, my friend, for the last 20 years, my associate, I would say my quarterback, my lover at some times, is on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Left me and many other men my age, like me. Has left us in the middle of the night and went down to that slut hole Tampa. I love Tampa. I love the people, cause I’m a slutty dirty person too. And he went down there and the question was, was it Belichick was it Brady. Well we know the answer, it was Brady, it was Brady, it was Brady. It was the man that Zeus made. Wonder Woman’s younger brother. Tom Brady. Just a god. And he went down there and he took them to a Super Bowl. Now the Super Bowl is in Tampa. Okay. So there is no way in hell that the Chiefs [uuuuuggggchcccc] are going to win the Super Bowl. The Gods are in Tom Brady’s favor to win this super bowl. He is going to win his 7th Super Bowl, his 10th appearance, I believe in the Super Bowl. He will win it and he will win it as he always wins it, by putting the people of Tampa through hell by losing it but then in the last seconds he will run the ball down and he will win it. And the score will be, 20-28.
Dan Soder. Tampa Bay 35. Kansas City 28.
My pick is for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to win 35-28 and the reason that I’m picking the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is cause Keith Robinson and I have a double or nothing bet, so I have to win so I dont have to pay him a bunch of cash. And also the Chiefs beat the Niners and I dont want to see them win back to back so there it is. Go Bucs.
Nate Bargatze. Tampa Bay 27. Kansas City 21.
I believe the Super Bowl score will be Tampa Bay 27 to Kansas City 21. And I hope that’s the case cause I hope its Tom Brady. Cause as long as he’s in the league- he’s older than me- I still have hope in my head that I can make the NFL.
Avery Pearson. Tampa Bay 38. Kansas City 34.
Buccaneers. They’re going to win by 38 to like 34. Just Brady. I just can’t, just stop. I can’t. What am I gonna bet against Brady in a Super Bowl? I”m a Bills fan. You know how heartbreaking it is for Bills fans. We lost to Mahomes. I hope they win, I hope KC wins, they deserve it. I dont like the tomahawk chop thing, that’s definitely not, that’s very 1992 situation. But this is, I just, we’re, BRADY! I can’t speak properly when I think about that guy. He’s like 87 years old and he’s throwing like 45 touchdowns. It’s just! He’s gonna win…he’s gonna win…he’s gonna win it’s awful. Hey maybe not. But probably he will. Maybe not! But probably he will. That’s my prediction. Brady and whatever team he’s on will win the Super Bowl.
Josh Adam Meyers. Tampa Bay 42. Kansas City 38.
I’m back to prognosticate once again the Super Bowl score. If you’ve been paying attention, I have hit it exactly every year that I have done this for the Bennington show. I think we’re on like 15 years straight. So everybody’s waiting with baited breath. Here’s my prediction for this year’s Super Bowl. The winner will be, Tampa Bay Buccaneers with Tom Brady throwing 5 Touchdowns. And the score will be 42 to 38. It’s going to be a high scoring game, because you have two of the greatest Quarterbacks ever. You got the oldest bad kneesiest, fucking HGH shot uppiest quarterback Tom Brady versus the other dude, I can’t even think of his name right now. That’s the score, 42-38. That’s what I want.
Andrew Collin. Tampa Bay 30. Kansas City 27.
I think Tampa Bay is going to win. Why they’re going to win is because the Chiefs did beat the Bucs but Mahomes threw for 460 yards and three touchdowns. I just don’t. I know he’s incredible but, they only won by 3 so I just feel like, Tampa Bay is going to learn a few things from that and they’re just hot right now. The only thing is, people say don’t bet against Tom Brady, but I mean Eli Manning beat Tom Brady. So a high school quarterback with a pretty good arm can probably beat him on a good day sometimes. The score, going 30 to 27. Bucs.
Tammy Pescatelli. Tampa Bay 35. Kansas City 32.
I gotta say Tampa Bay. I think that Brady has carried them and they’re offense all the way through. It will be 35 to 32. I think a lot of people in Boston will then shoot their tvs. That’s my prediction that Boston is going to be really upset.
Paul Morrissey. Tampa Bay 30. Kansas City 27.
Defending and still highlander champion, of the Bennington show, I’m comedian Paul Morrissey and my Super Bowl prediction is…now listen, we have the first Home Super Bowl ever, in the only state that doesn’t think the pandemic exists, in Tampa Florida. So we’ve got the underdog, Tom Brady who I think was arrested at a park in Tampa and shipped out of Boston because he was too old. So I’m rooting for Tom Brady believe it or not. I actually bought the Tom Brady pajamas by under armor, they’re supposed to recharge you while you sleep. I don’t think they work. I think Giselle Bundchen has more to do with energizing Tom, but I am rooting for Tom Brady. I say the score is going to be 30 to 27 over the Kansas City Chiefs. Mahomes still doesn’t konw what day it is or what year it is because of that concussion. He’ll still have a pretty good game cause he’ll just be running to not get tackled. But I’m taking the Buccaneers, so Vinny Testaverde can get his first ring as the backup quarterback. I think he’s still there.
Casey Balsham. Tampa Bay 27. Kansas City 24.
I am predicting that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are going to beat the Chiefs. Well, my husband’s from Tampa. Gross. I know. So I kind of have to go with them. I don’t know why they’re going to win. I mean I do. It’s Tom Brady and they’re going to win 27 to 24. And that’s what it is.
Sal Vulcano. Tampa Bay 1. Kansas City 0.
I am going to go with- as much as I cannot believe I”m saying this, these words are coming out of my mouth. I kind of want to see Brady win. I just thing that the story is a better story. It’s his first year not on the Pats, they don’t make the playoffs, he does somehow…with Gronkowski. They’re a wildcard team. The Super Bowl is being played in Tampa. The story is being written for him. So I think it would be way more exciting to see him win. KC- they’re young. They have a powerful team. They’ve already won, they have a bright future ahead of them so I’m less excited for it. I think the score is going to be very close. I’m predicting something really tight. Like 1-nothing. And the reason I think thats going to be the score is because I don’t really care about this matchup. Ultimately. I think a 1-nothing score i’ve never seen before so that would kind of grab my interest.
Bonnie McFarlane Tampa Bay 0. Kansas City 0.
I am going to pick Tampa Bay. Don’t listen to me, I mean I’m not a good picker. Look who my husband is. Look at who I married! darling…. I’m good at picking apples. I grew up on a farm. Okay I think the score is going to be 0-0 and I only say that becuase I didn’t feel like doing multiples of 7. So. Have a great Super Cup! Or whatever it is!
THEY PICKED THE CHIEFS! (20)
Kerryn Feehan. Kansas City 100 . Tampa Bay 5.
After finding out who is going to be in the Super Bowl, the Kansas City Chiefs and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, I talked to my dad about it and he said that the other quarterback throws with both his arms. So I think that guy’s going to win. I. think that the guy who throws with two arms like a basketball has a better shot against even Tom Brady so I’m going with the Kansas City Chiefs and I think they’re going to win 100-5.
Jim Norton. Kansas City 55. New England 4.
I think its pretty safe to say- and remember I said this- that at one point, Tom Brady will be inducted into the Hall of Fame. He’s going to go down as one of the better quarterbacks of the last ten years. I’m expecting a competitive game defensively. The final score, I do think the Chiefs are going to win 55 to 4. I think that the Patriots will get two safeties, one early in the first quarter and one in the last minute of the game, and I think the Patriots are going to be up ten to 2 at halftime and then outscore them 45 to 2 in the second half.
Monroe Martin. Kansas City 38. Tampa Bay 14.
Yo, I think that Kansas City Chiefs are going to demolish the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I just feel like Andy Reid just has something to prove because he wasted his time with Philly for so long. Now he’s in Kansas City and he’s like yo I”m about to dog the Buccaneers. I think the score is going to be like 38 to 14.
Amy Miller. Kansas City 46. Tampa Bay 24.
I can’t even believe we’re having a Super Bowl, this is insane. Like, the priorities in this country! And nobody has a job, and everybody’s dead. I don’t understand why we have to have football but I am pumped to just get a bunch of people together in my small apartment and laugh and share GIFS, no masks, it’s going to be really good. We’re going to have a beer bong. Oh there’s a really loud car. honking, that’s very professional of me. Okay I’m going to say Kansas City 46 Tampa, 24. I’m only saying this because Kansas City has better food to make on Sunday. What is Tampa’s food? I dunno people said make a Cubano sandwich, that’s from Cuba. I don’t get food from Florida. You’re disgraceful.
Sean Donnelly . Kansas City Chiefs 28. Tampa Bay 7.
I think the Super Bowl will end with the winner being, I think Kansas City will win because I think that Tom Brady is part cyborg and humans always triumph over cyborgs. Also I think no matter who wins, instead of saying you’re going to Disneyland after they ask you where you’re going after you win the Super Bowl, you should say I’m getting the vaccine. That should be the new I’m going to Disneyland. And the score will be, 28 to 7 I’m pretty sure. That’s what its going to be. So have fun.
Bridget Everett. Kansas City 33. Tampa Bay 18.
It’s gonna be the chiefs over Tampa and its going to be 33-18. Mahomes is gonna smoke him. Write it down. Listen to the truth. It’s happening.
Tommy Johnagin. Kansas City Chiefs 42 . Tampa Bay 27.
My Super Bowl pick is the Kansas City Chiefs, I’m going to say 42, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 27. I think Mahomes is going to go crazy. I think that Tom Brady is going to get Covid at halftime and will end up with a backup quarterback. Maybe Byron Lefkowtiz will come out of retirement or something like that. But I’m going to Chiefs 42, Bucs 27.
Mike Vecchione. Kansas City 31. Tampa Bay 13.
Before I say anything I’d like to say I love Tom Brady. I love him as a person and I love his story, but I predict the Kansas City Chiefs to win the Super Bowl 31 to 13 over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I just think the Chiefs offense is too explosive and I think Tampa Bay will not be able to get on track.
Dave Hill. Kansas City 36. Tampa Bay 23.
I”m Dave Hill, football expert, and my prediction in this Super Bowl is the Kansas City Chiefs will beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 36-23 which is a score that came to me early today in a fugue state. I think Kansas City will win cause they have cooler jerseys. It’s that simple. I’m told that Tom Brady plays for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This is information that just came across, came down the pike for me. Does not affect my convictions that Kansas City will win. So get out there and bet all the money you have based on my football predictions. Which are statistically wrong half the time. So pretty good odds.
Earl Skakel. Kansas City 35. Tampa Bay 24.
It’s a tough call for me to make being a lifelong Pittsburgh Steeler fan but I’ll do my best. I think its going to be a very even game. I think the Buccaneers will have opportunity because the KC defense is very aggressive. They led the league in multiple blitzes and more than tripled the average of an all out blitz. But for some reason Brady and Mike Evans haven’t had great chemistry and I do believe the Kansas City Chiefs will win by a score of 35 to 24 because I believe they’re just younger in all key positions and even though I know Tom Brady very much wants to prove he can win a Super Bowl or two without Bill Belichick, I just think the Chiefs are a little two strong for them. Kelsey’s a younger Gronkowski, Mahomes a younger Brady and as an old guy I will say the youth will win out 35-24. KC Chiefs. Steelers next year.
Joe List. Kansas City 34. Tampa Bay 23.
I am a football expert. The Kansas City Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl because they have Steven Mahomes and they are going to win by a score of 34 to 23. That’s right, Tim Brady loses again. Chiefs 34, Bucs 23.
Tom Segura. Kansas City 28. Tampa Bay 17.
Don’t tell anyone I said this but I think the Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl. And I think they’re going to win because they’re a better team. With better players and better coaching. And they’re just better. And I think they’ll win 28-17.
Emma Willmann . Kansas City 14. Tampa Bay 3.
Whats up, this is comedian Emma Willman. I love football! I am pumped for the Super Bowl. My bet, I’m betting all my money, everything I own, $80 in total on the Kansas City Chiefs and I think its going to be, let me get the exact thing, I’m getting premonition. I think it’s going to be 14-3. I think the Chiefs are going to win cause its their year, they’re set up for it and their quarterback is amazing.
Jim Florentine. Kansas City 30.Tampa Bay 20.
I think the Chiefs will win 30-20. It will be close the first half and then toward the end of the game the Chiefs will just run away with it. They can score points, no problem. They could be down 21-nothing all of a sudden its 24-21, they could come back quick. Brady’s had a great year. It doesn’t really matter that its a home game for them because they can only let 22,000 people in the stadium and 7500 tickets they gave away to health care people so they’re not even going to be fans. So there’s really no home advantage. So Brady’s luck runs out this week. That’s what I think. 30-20 Chiefs over the Bucs.
Adam Ferrara . Kansas City 33. Tampa Bay 24.
Okay Super Bowl Sunday, here’s what I’m thinking. This is an historic super bowl because its the first time that there’s a home team playing in their home stadium- Tampa. And you know what that means? I have no idea. I really can’t think of any benefit for it except that Tampa doesn’t have to travel. Now Brady’s old and he retired to Florida and you dont want those people on the road anyway. So I’m taking Kansas City. I’m laying the three. Kansas City’s o-line is a little banged up but I think Patrick Mahomes is going to win the day, although, again, Patrick Mahomes, he does that little old man shuffle back to the huddle and then he runs like hell. But he might have turf toe, but I’m still taking Kansas City. I’m laying three. Final score 33-24.
Paul Virzi. Kansas City 34. Tampa Bay 27.
I think the Kansas City Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl 34 to 27 because I believe even if you double up a guy like Tyreek Hill there’s just weapons like Kelsey and Mahomes’ legs and I think he’s going to be able to get the ball out quick enough to halt the Buccaneers defense. I got Kansas City 34, Bucs 27.
Jeremiah Watkins. Kansas City 41. Tampa Bay 35.
I think the Chiefs are going to claim the Super Bowl back to back. I think the score is going to be 41 to 35 and I think that Tom Brady is not going to let up and its going to be a very close game but its going to be somewhat high scoring throughout and super exciting but Mahomes at the end of the day is going to wrap it up and we’re going to be Super Bowl champs once again.
Sam Morril . Kansas City 34. Tampa Bay 28.
I think the Chiefs are going to win 34 to 28, but I want the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to win because I want Tom Brady to have seven rings, meanwhile Eli Manning took two away from him. Go Giants, fuck everybody else.
Jimmy Shubert. Kansas City will cover 3.5
Okay so the Super Bowl, we got the GOAT vs the Kid. Brady’s going for his unprecedented seventh ring which is exciting of itself. You got Mahomes trying to repeat as Super Bowl champions. Since Brady did it in 2003 2004 season. I mean, the Chiefs are a 3.5 favorite. I’m kinda going to go with the Chiefs. I like the Chiefs, I think, don’t get me wrong they got great supporting cast, both Brady and Mahomes, and they’re kinda stacked in those positions. I just want to see Andy Reid win a second Super Bowl ring. That’s kind of what I’m rooting for but at the same time, that’s the direction I’m leaning but I wouldn’t be upset if Brady got his 7th ring either. I mean, you know, obviously Brady’s proven himself to be the Greatest of All Time with going to the Super Bowl again with a completely different team. So I’m going with the Chiefs I’m going to take the 3.5.
Roy Wood Jr. Kansas City 34. Tampa Bay 31.
Hey what’s up its Roy Wood Jr., Daily Show Trevor Noah. Kansas City Chiefs, 34-31. Always bet on Black.
Liza Treyger. Kansas City 23. Tampa Bay 21.
I think the Chiefs are going to win, for America. I dont think we need a Tom Brady. And I do think that it’s incredible that he can go to a team and beat everyone and I used to be obsessed with Warren Sapp. And I get it, Tampa Bay, that’s where the Back Street Boys started, but, Tom Brady is just not what America needs. I think the Chiefs need to do two in a row. I’m sad its not the Packers Bills honestly but I think the score is going to be close and not that big. I think its going to be 21-23 if that’s possible.
THEY PICKED THE !?!?!! (6)
Rich Vos. Take the Over. No Team. No Score.
Here’s the deal when it comes to gambling. Im not the luckiest guy. I took the over under on the covid disease that I picked last July. Also this year I wasn’t betting on football at all. The first game I took was the Rams over the Jets. The jets were 0 and 13 or 0 and 12. That’s the game they won. Then during the playoffs, the championship games, I picked 2 out of 2 losers. So I’m 0 for 3. So whoever I pick your best bet is to go with the other team. I kind of like Tampa Bay cause of Brady, but I like Kansas City because they’re just a powerhouse. So what Im gonna do is go with the over and under. I think the over is like 56. I love high scoring games. I hate taking the under because if you take the under you could lose that bet within two quarters, three quarters. Has anybody taken the over or under on these bets? Cause to tell you the truth I really don’t care who wins. How about that. I don’t care who wins. The only winners in this world or that listen to this are the people that go to youtube and go watch Vos roast for free. Those are the winners. There you go, little plug and that’s all I got. I’m going to go shovel snow. My career. I stink. I really am bad at this. Call ins. Is that good enough cause that’s all I got.
Big Jay. Buffalo Bills. Okay this is Actually a Pick for Kansas City. 34-27.
I’m going to go with the Buffalo Bills simply because I dont want to believe tom Brady is actually that good. I hate him and everything about him. It’s probably jealous and envy but lets just call him a prima donna bitch and I hope the Bills run him over 34-27. Chiefs! Thats what I meant to say. Chiefs. Fucking moron.
Chris Gethard . Seaton Hall Pirates.
As I explained last year I do not watch football. I haven’t watched a football game in years. The only sports team I follow is the Seaton Hall pirates from the big east conferene so what i can predict is Miles Powell graduated, I dont konw if they’re going to make a run in the tournament but I do think Seaton Hall is going to get the season together and make the tournament. I dont know if they’ll make it past the first weekend but GO PIRATES!
Ian Fidance. The Viewers Will Win
Late breaking news, I just found out who is in the Super Bowl! Apparently it’s the Bucs vs the Chiefs. Now here’s the thing. I love pirates because most of them try to go for the booty which is a lot like my life’s goals but I also like the Chiefs because its a tough fighting Indian Brave and what’s more American than that. But really at the end of the day, my prediction for the Super Bowl Champions of 2021 is no other than the viewers. That’s right us sitting home using football as a distraction to distract from the fact that we’re living in a dystopian hellscape. I think that the score is going to be more Covid deaths and ultimately more hate groups because instead of bringing together with understanding and conversation, we put people into separate camps because we don’t allow forgiveness and growth within society because Twitter and the Internet is destroying us from the inside out. Anyway hope you guys have fun and enjoy the Sunday game of the Super Bowl. Listen to Ian’s Infinite Playlist every Friday 1pm SiriusXM Radio Channel 99.
Sam Roberts. Patriots/Tom Brady 24-13. Yeah this is actually a pick for Tampa Bay.
For me I’m kind of a football guy and I’ve been watching this season really carefully and there’s no doubt in my mind that the legacy will continue. Rob Gronkowski and Tom Brady are going to take the Patriots to another Super Bowl victory, and you heard it here first. The Score will be 24 to 13, Patriots.
