A hacker has figured out how to download all the user info and posting history from the now dead social media app Parler and is planning on releasing the date. This should have no consequences for anyone’s jobs, right?

Remember how people were dunking on Parler for being built on WordPress? Well, through a plug-in exploit, literally all the user data (including photos of verified state id cards) has been retrieved by hackers and is being posted online. Lmao ♾️https://t.co/w1yexoUOxq pic.twitter.com/h2Mf7Fn1Sc

— Classic Bird Respecter (@BirdRespecter) January 11, 2021

everything

Melania has finally spoken out about what happened in DC last week and chose to mourn the passing of the woman who was shot trying to break into the Capitol before anyone else. Critics also pointed out a few grammatical errors. Everyone should calm down since we all know she didn’t write this in the first place.

Read more at whitehouse.gov.

The FBI released a bulletin warning that armed protests are being planned in all 50 states and the District between January 16th and the 20th.

New: @FBI now reports in a bulletin "Armed protests are being planned at all 50 state capitols from 16 January through at least 20 January, and at the US Capitol from 17 January through 20 January,” @AaronKatersky reports.

— Josh Margolin (@JoshMargolin) January 11, 2021

It took days for the White House to put the flag at half mast for the first cop who died in the Capitol riots and now we may have to remind them to leave it up a tad longer.

Blue Lives Matter just a summer thing?

Read more at nypost.com.

OK so it’s not the barber shop window but Christie finally turned saying “If Insurrection Isn’t Impeachable I Don’t Know What Is”

Hope this isn’t about him making you order the meatloaf.

Read more at thewrap.

The PGA tweeted that the board voted to terminate the agreement to play the 2022 championship at Trump Bedminster.

This is one thing that could actually hurt Trump as much losing his Twitter account. He better hope
McDonald’s doesn’t announce they’re going to stop serving him…

"The PGA of America Board of Directors voted tonight to exercise the right to terminate the agreement to play the 2022 PGA Championship at Trump Bedminster." — Jim Richerson, PGA of America President

— PGA of America (@PGA) January 11, 2021

Hmm.Zignal Labs, a media insights company told the New York Times that they count over 100,000 instances of the phrase storm the capitol on the internet. Many of them were in viral tweets, not dark corners of the internet, and plenty included instructions on how to get in the building.

Guess this explains why law enforcement was caught totally off guard?

Read more at motherjones.com.

The city of San Francisco is preparing for a pro Trump rally at the Twitter headquarters. What they fail to realize is Twitter is working from home forever so all they’ll find in there is some 10 month old yogurt.

Read more at gizmodo.

Turns out the small business loans didn’t do shit for a lot of owners. Turns out 300 businesses got checks cut to them for less than $99. That’s enough money for some cloth masks and a couple bottles of wine if you’re lucky.

Read more at dnyuz.com.

The FBI has been called in to investigate just what the hell happened at the Capitol this week and whether or not it was an inside job since the protestors were able to find Nancy Pelosi’s office so easily. No, it was probably all masterminded by the guy dressed like a minotaur. He seems capable.

Read more at tmz.

The CEO of Parler told Fox News: “Every vendor from text message services to email providers to our lawyers all ditched us too on the same day,” If they need a lawyer, Rudy Giuliani is most likely available.

Read more at deadline.

The Mayoral race between Sean Skipworth and Jennifer Lawrence ended in a tie, so according to law, they had to pick the name out of a hat. Skipworth ended up the winning vote and is the new Mayor of Dickinson, Texas. His first act will be to change the tiebreaker to rock, paper, scissors.

Read more at apnews.com.

Big business is running from the G.O.P., for now, particularly anyone who voted to overturn the election on January 6. Chase and Citibankare pausing all political donations, as is digital payments company “Stripe”. Marriott banned donations to all 147 republicans who voted against the election. Ford, CVS, Target and Exxon Mobil are subjecting any future donations to a scruitiny committee.

Hm wonder what could have soured them on politics??

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

Vogue Magazine is facing backlash for its cover photo of Vice President-elect Kamala Harris wearing casual wear and sneakers. The original plan was to use a shot of Harris wearing a more formal powder blue suit and the Harris camp was not informed of the change. Critics charge that the photo downplays the cultural importance of Harris becoming VP. Someone who can break a Senate tie and get everyone dancing at a party is cool with us.

Read more at yahoo.com.

Tom Brady just passed George Blanda as oldest QB to throw a TD pass in the playoffs. The side by side pic shows how much of an older 43 George was than the Golden Boy.

In his defense George Blanda smoked cigarettes on the field.

Read more at usatoday.

Welp, I guess it's time to try that avocado ice cream. pic.twitter.com/9KuMfAfb02

— Robert Mays (@robertmays) January 10, 2021

The good news for Washington fans is that they may have found their new quarterback in Taylor Heinicke. The bad news is he’s a Trump supporter who has been critical of BLM protests, and believes $10 a hour is a livable wage. Derek Carr is thrilled that he’s no longer the biggest asshole QB in the league.

Read more at yahoo.com.

The Bills and Browns have done something that hasn’t been seen in over 65 years – both win in the playoffs in the same year. One or both of these towns are going to be incredibly disappointed in the next two weeks.

Read more at reddit.

Bill Belichick is scheduled to receive The Presidential Medal Of Freedom this Thursday, but may decline because of the current situation with the President. He’s also really doesn’t want to change out of his cut out sweatshirt and put on big boy clothes.

Read more at profootballtalk.

CBS may want to rethink its decision to air NFL games on Nickelodeon after mics caught Bears receiver Cordarrelle Patterson dropping an F bomb. We were really hoping for at least one ‘Oh shit’ during the second half.

Read more at nypost.

Golfer Justin Thomas apologized for being caught on mic dropping a homophobic slur after missing a putt during the Sentry Tournament Of Champions. Thomas, currently ranked #3 in the world, said he’s ‘extremely embarrassed’ for the remark. The PGA Tour is expected to fine Thomas and have him take several golf balls to the crotch as punishment.

Big fan, not a great look.

Are we gonna apologize for the language here @JustinThomas34 @PGATOUR ? pic.twitter.com/QvIYdOv7F9

— Imsolazy (@DustyBurlap) January 10, 2021

“I grew up in Austria. I’m very aware of Kristallnacht, or the Night of Broken Glass. It was a night of rampage against the Jews carried out in 1938 by the Nazi equivalent of the Proud Boys,” Arnold said. “Wednesday was the Day of Broken Glass right here in the United States.”

Please say “Fat Hitler.”

Sex and the City is coming back with a new season on HBO Mac, minus Kim Catrall.

A Sex in the City without Samantha??

Then just call it ‘In the City’.

Read more at variety.com.

Rumor has it hat Armie Hammer DM’d a woman about cannibalism and drinking her blood

Are these dm’s real? Does Armie Hammer really have a cannibal fantasy?? Even if it’s not true, it’s going to be hard to shake the nickname Call Me By Your Blood Type.

Read more at meawww.com.

Pat Loud, whose family starred in the groundbreaking 1973 PBS series ‘American Family’ passed at the age of 94. The show is considered to be the forerunner of reality TV, capturing the revelation of her then-husband Bill’s affairs, their divorce, and their oldest son coming out as gay. Kris Jenner should pay for the funeral on general principle.

Read more at nypost.

This Tik Tok video’s gone viral showing an alternate way to tie one shoes. Zoomer’s are so ahead of the game.

@bugzymoran

TIE YOUR SHOES: in less than 1 second💪#fyp #howto #likeaboss #foryou

♬ original sound – BugsyMoran

With the NFL airing on Nickelodeon, Twitter decided to go down memory lane and ask wha people’s favorite Nickelodeon shows are. Sunday Afternoon Football has to crack the top 3 here.

Give me your top five Nickelodeon shows

— Colton Pouncy (@colton_pouncy) January 10, 2021

everything

Not all of the insurgents who breached out nation’s capitol were cosplay idiots ir muderous racists there was also at least one retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel who was carrying the type of zip ties you use to hold hostages.

But he found them on the floor and wanted to give to a cop. Officer and a gentleman.

Read more at The New Yorker.

In the wake of the Capitol riots, the rush to shut down hate speech is on. As part of the movement, Amazon says it will no longer host Parlor’s website.

Get ready for a lot of extremist sending snail mail chain letters.

Read more at buzzfeednews.

Derrick Evans was just elected to the West Virginia legislature but he’s already resigned after partaking in the siege on the US Capitol earlier this week.

He would have gotten away with it to if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.. oh and posting videos of himself storming US capitol

Read more at cnn.

Well Trump has been banned for for good because Twitter believes future attacks are being planned. Back to AOL chatrooms!

He’s on as Fuckkwadd6969.

Read more at cnet.

Someone edited together all the various videos that came out from the storming of the Capitol building this week into one coherent timeline. You can now watch one of the darkest moments in American history in less time than it takes to catch the first episode of Queen’s Gambit. Great.

Online betting is hotter than ever, and now some states have agreed to allow betting on the growing sport of drone racing.

Finally, let’s get back to weird dystopian future we all expected we’d have: betting on bizarre robot battles!

Read more at gizmodo.

LeBron James said “If those were my kind storming the Capitol, what would have been the outcome? And, I think we all know.”

LeBron we hear you but as always we are not listening ” said White America.

Read more at tmz.

Due to Covid protocol’s Tony Romo will be calling the Saints/Bears game today remotely. He’ll be in Dallas and Nantz will be in New Orleans. Nantz must be furious considering how much less he’s paid than Romo. He’ll be bringing this up in his yearly review.

Tony Romo will call the Bears-Saints playoff game remotely from Dallas, while Jim Nantz will be in New Orleans at the Superdome due to Covid-19 protocols, I’m told.

My story from earlier in the week.https://t.co/HdYe4sBWSf

— Andrew Marchand (@AndrewMarchand) January 8, 2021

Alex Smith’s calf is still not fully healed so the Washington Football Team is probably starting Taylor Heinicke tonight. This says a lot about the current state of their franchise that it’s worse to start Heinicke than a guy with one working leg.

The Washington Football Team will have more answers in the morning, but there is a real chance QB Taylor Heinicke ends up starting vs the #Bucs, sources say. Alex Smith’s calf is still sore and hasn’t loosened up. Heinicke took the majority of snaps and is ready if needed.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) January 9, 2021

“And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again”

Read more at eonline.

Who’s ready for the Space Oddity dance challenge??

Read more at variety.com.

Claudia Conway was on TikTok, calling out her mother KellyAnne about the recent GOP losses in Georgia and the rioters at the Capitol. She then forced KellyAnne leave the room by playing an Anti-Trump track. Keeping Up The Conways, coming soon to E!

Read more at toofab.

Former golfer turned social media influencer Paige Spiranac said that men who take the oral COVID test can now relate to what women experience when performing oral sex. Paige, you’re doing it wrong.

Read more at nypost.com.

R Kelly celebrated his 54th birthday by sharing his 2011 song ‘Shut Up’ on social media. The track features lyrics telling ‘people all up in your business’ to shut up. Kelly is currently locked up awaiting trail for a variety of sex crimes charges. Kelly’s accusers have recorded an answer song, ‘You Ain’t Going Nowhere’.

Read more at pagesix.

That woman who thought a black kid stole her phone had a conversation with Gayle King about why she behaved how she behaved.

Aaaand she sucks as bad as you thought she would.

Cool hat, maybe “Daddy” can buy off some of this bad press.

The 22-year-old woman caught on camera allegedly physically attacking a 14-year-old Black teen and falsely accusing him of stealing her phone was arrested in California.

In an exclusive interview, Miya Ponsetto and her lawyer spoke with @GayleKing hours before she was arrested. pic.twitter.com/ezaGkcWZ8j

— CBS This Morning (@CBSThisMorning) January 8, 2021

The lawsuit between Tracy Chapman and Nicki Minaj over a sampled song has been settled. Chapman will collect a nice half mil.

Thanks Nicki, now Tracy is about to get herself a fast car too.

Read more at variety.com.

The company LoveDolls has unveiled a new sex doll that can mimic breathing. The British manufacturer has already created dolls that can have limited conversation, make facial expressions and sexual noises. The new feature will cost an extra $600 dollars.

An 8-ball and a hooker is still cheaper.

Read more.

Lindsey Graham is Machiavelli if Machiavelli was much dumber about being devious

You jumped off the Trump train and got on a Trump plane.

A source sends this video of a group of Trump supporters today harassing Sen. Lindsey Graham at Reagan airport and loudly calling him a “traitor” after he publicly broke with Trump earlier this week. pic.twitter.com/XBF8K6DIUD

— Daniel Lippman (@dlippman) January 8, 2021

This “Shorty, pull your mask up” Press Conference has everyone talking.

When does the album drop??

This may surprise but most American’s don’t appreciate fat guys dressed like Captain Crunch rubbing their
shit on the walls of our nation’s capitol.

Snowflakes!

Read more at mediaite.com.

One in 6 people are seeing a therapist for the first time. The cool thing is they are not making up their problems.

Their life does suck!

So what about the global pandemic bothers you today?

Read more at studyfinds.org.

Well has a America finally had enough and wants to cancel the reality show right before the finale ?

Didn’t deep fake apology Trump ease your concerns ?

Read more at trust.com.