Sunday January 3: Daily Links
SUNDAY 1.3
NEWS STORIES
Federal Judge Boots Rep. Louie Gohmert’s Suit
GOP Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert’s filed a perfectly sane lawsuit against Vice President Mike Pence to overturn the presidential election. The judge kicked it to the street.
We could lose this thing!
Vandals Tag Nancy Pelosi's Garage
Well vandals are now targeting garages They left a pigs head with fake blood and tagged it with unreadable shitty graffiti.
Graffiti Artists write better !
BREAKING EXCLUSIVE: @SpeakerPelosi’s house VANDALIZED with red paint, PIGS HEAD & spray-painted message “$2K (crossed out)… CANCEL RENT… WE WANT EVERYTHING”. City called to clean up at 3am & police attempting to stop photos of scene. Media SILENT. pic.twitter.com/LD1jfZIvco
— 🇺🇸Maggie VandenBerghe🇺🇸 (@FogCityMidge) January 1, 2021
Proud Boys Plan to Pose as Antifa During Jan. 6th Rally
The chairman of the Proud Boys (there’s a chairman of the proud boys?) says his group “might dress in all BLACK for the occasion” which alludes to dressing like antifa.
Maybe there never really was an antifa all along?? Maybe they’re just Tyler Duden and I am Jack’s Idiotic Hate Group.
These Are The Last Days Of Dog Racing In America
The last dog race happened in Florida on New Years Eve and there are just four tracks left open in three states across the country. Maybe Elon Musk can save dog racing just like he’s saving the space program, he doesn’t have much else to do.
A Extended NYE Rave Finally Gets Shut Down
French police were finally able to shut down an illegal rave that had been going on since New Year’s Eve. Law enforcement attempted to pull the plug on the scheduled five day event on Friday, but were met by rocks, bottles, and one police vehicle got torched. It’s estimated that 2,500 people attended and over 1,200 were cited for violating COVID restrictions. Men Without Hats plan to remake their only hit and call it, ‘The Unsafety Dance’.
SPORTS
More Cleveland Browns Test Positive For Covid
Last week the Browns had no WR’s and now this week their coaches are testing positive and their facilities have been closed most of the week. The Browns are doing everything they can to make sure their jinxed franchise doesn’t fuck it all up by going to the playoffs.
The #Browns have a positive test on their coaching staff. Facility closed this morning.
— Mike Garafolo (@MikeGarafolo) January 2, 2021
ENTERTAINMENT
Israeli Model Tops the List for Most Beautiful Faces of 2020
Yael Shelbia is #1 on TC Candler’s list of the most beautiful faces this year.
Most beautiful woman is an exotic 19 year old super model? Please, don’t die of shock.
Oscar Isaac Used to Play in a Ska Band in the 90’s?!?!
Who dropped this story??
Because we’re about to pick it up, pick it up, PICK IT UP!!!
Pamela Anderson Makes Plea To Get Assange A Pardon
Julian Assange may get extradited to the United States on Monday and his biggest fan, Pamela Anderson, is making one last run at getting him pardoned. Maybe if she made a sequel to Barb Wire that would get more people on Assange’s side.
SuperFan Changes His Name To Celine Dion During Bender
Super fan Thomas Dodd got so hammered watching a Celine Dion concert at home that he legally changed his name to Celine Dion. He didn’t remember doing it until the paperwork showed up a few days later. ‘Mr Celine Dion’ plans to keep the name and hopes one day to meet the singer. He wouldn’t have got no heat at all if he was watching a Michael Bolton concert.
Gene Simmons Still Thinks Rock Is Dead
In a new interview, Gene Simmons continues to assert that rock is dead. The KISS bassist said one reason is that ‘new bands haven’t taken the time to create glamour, excitement and epic stuff.’ This comes from the same guy who wrote the song ‘Lick It Up’.
more stories coming soon
everything
GOING VIRAL
That Time The Office Did a The Matrix Cold Opening
Yes The Office Jumped the Shark but don’t forget that the Matrix Jumped the Shark first. So this is like watching a jumped shark jumping a shark.
Take the blue pill and forget you read this.
Now Here's a New Year's Rockin Eve
Yeah we all know there are covid restrictions. But when a ton of celebs drop by on NYE you must kick out the jams.
Points to anyone who watched Lonely Guy.
https://twitter.com/search?q=%23NoPeopleNoProblem&src=hash
STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS
Betches Presents the Six Lies About Sex That Rom-Coms Taught Us
Rom Coms have sex all wrong, and betches boiled it down to six lies.
Wish romcoms could be more realistic… like action movies.
An actual quote from the movie The Holiday:
Jude Law: “How do you feel about foreplay?”
Cameron Diaz: “I think it’s overrated. Significantly overrated.”
Jude Law: “You are quickly becoming one of the most interesting girls I've ever met.”
CUT TO: The worst sex ever
— Chloe Dykstra (@skydart) May 19, 2019
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