Russians have been advised that they need to avoid alcohol for two weeks before receiving the Covid Vaccine injection, and 42 days after being innoculated. And there are 21 days between the two treatments that make up the Russian Sputnik vaccine.

This will never fly, so let’s come up with a new plan… What if they drink the vaccine and just inject vodka??

Read more at reuters.com.

Don’t worry, Elon. No one will remember this considering all the other crash and burn dumpster fires we see on a daily basis in 2020.

Read more at cnbc.com

Donald Trump is fighting to tooth and nail to stay in the White house but insiders are claiming his wife just ‘wants to go home.’

What about Christmas? Do You give a fuck about Christmas?

Read more at cnn.com.

The New York Post is reporting that doctor in Staten Island admitted that he “practice as a pill mill, where he solicited sexual favors from young patients in exchange for writing opioid prescriptions.”

Seems like a win win.

Read more at nypost.

Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris and Dr. Anthony Fauci are among the names topping The U.S. Captioning Company’s most mispronounced words of 2020. Other names included NBA MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo, Bangtan Sonyeondan, which is the full name of South Korean K-Pop band, BTS, and Isaias, the name given to the hurricane that hit the East Coast and Caribbean this summer. Bonus points for anyone who can spell of this names without using Google.

Read more at apnews.com.

Organizers of underground sex parties have taken extreme measures not to get busted. Potential attendees must be vetted by sex workers, and have to provide references before being told of the location. Is this an interview for a sex party or the C.I.A?

Read more at tmz.com.

everything

The Cowboys/49ers game has been flexed out of Sunday Night Football, being replaced by the Giants/Browns game. This is the first time the Cowboys have been flexed out of a SNF game, to which the team says they’re “disappointed”. Everyone who isn’t a cowboys fan is “laughing their balls off”.

Read more at profootballtalk.nbcsports.com.

Elf is a modern Christmas classic because it did old school sfx and stop action animation.

Did Jon Favreau do anything besides a v.o.?

Poor David Crosby. He needs money. He can’t tour and streaming has cut into his record sales.

Plus weed. Spends a ton of cash on weed.

Read more at nme.

Kellyanne Conway has signed a multi million dollar book deal about her time in the White House. Can’t wait for the Tik Tok chapter.

Read more at thedailybeast.com.

The Directors Guild wrote a letter to Warner Brothers highly critical of their plan to release all their films next year in theaters and on HBO Max at the same time. If Netflix is smart, they should found the Streamers Guild immediately.

Read more at hollywoodreporter.com.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show is still radioactive to A-Listers. Staffers say A-listers are reluctant to do the daytime talk show in the wake of allegations of misconduct and a toxic work environment. In addition, ratings are down 37% and sponsors are dropping out. You know its bad when Johnny Depp won’t come on.

Read more at buzzfeednews.com.

everything

This seems like a job for Reddit’s am I the asshole.

Answer: everyone involved

Read more at nypost.

@janelleeliseWhose side are you on?! #ohno #toxic #drama #airplane #travel #GivingThanks

♬ Oh No – Kreepa

It started out with a tweet
How did it end up this sweet?
It was only a tweet, IT WAS ONLY A TWEET

Theory: everyone likes Mr Brightside, especially those who overtly say they don’t like Mr Brightside. They are exhibiting Freudian suppression and are seeking domination of their own tastes and desires. They are swimming through sick lullabies
and choking on their alibis.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) December 9, 2020

People are saying they hear all sorts of different shit when listening to this viral video including ‘iPhone’, ‘Fortnight’, ‘night fall’, ‘eye for an eye’, ‘nice one’, ‘nine four’ and weirdly ‘four nine’. Don’t even try to play it backwards, it will fuck you up.

Read more at metro.co.uk.

Charlie Freeman, son of Atlanta Braves star Freddie Freeman, had the perfect reaction after giving up a home run to his dad. For the next video, Charlie’s going to knock him down with a brushback pitch.

Via digg.com.

.@FreddieFreeman5 has won the 2020 NL Hank Aaron Award.

Never forget the time he hit an absolute bomb off his son. pic.twitter.com/Wd6w4whmwR

— MLB (@MLB) December 8, 2020

Google has released the things people searched for most in 2020. Congrats to Coronavirus for taking the top spot as the most searched for term in the world. Dont’ know how you pulled it off.

Read more at google.