Wednesday December 9: Daily Links
WEDNESDAY 12.9
NEWS STORIES
Who Will Get a Pardon !?
Oh, of course the President will pardon members of his family and loyal members of his crime family but who else? ?
Joe Exotic? Julian Assange?
Too bad Manson died.
Will Christmas Tree Be the Next Big Coronavirus Shortage?!
Some think Christmas Trees are going to be tough to find this year, even predicting that after we pass mid month there may be no trees to be had. Sellers say supply is low and demand is at an all time high, and that goes for real and artifical trees.
Can we just use all this toilet paper we’ve been hoarding to decorate??
Price of Water Matters on Wall Street
What does water have in common with oil and gold? Wall St will start to trade on futures contracts tied to the spot price of water for the first time ever.
Do you guys know something we don’t?? Glad the rich get richer while the rest of us will be living like Tank Girl!
What Are Dating Green Flags?
Everyone talks about “Red Flags” when dating someone new but what about “Green Flags”??
Oh buzzfeed, thanks for gathering these wholesome adorable relationships stories. Maybe we won’t even need to watch Love Actually this year!
Chinese Spy Fang Fang Slept With Multiple US Politicians
A female Chinese spy tried to sleep her way into US politics by having sex with a couple of US mayor’s in the midwest and cozying up to a US congressman. She really mastered sleeping her way to the lower middle.
People Are Desperate For A PS5
The PS5 is the gift all the kids want and people are desperate to find them. Video was shot of people running into a Walmart to try to get one but there were none even to be found. Remember everyone, scalpers need to make money too.
The Troy Walmart was absolutely buzzing this morning for a shot at a PS5 pic.twitter.com/BkixFGa6Qf
— GrantBSDetroit (@grant_bs) December 8, 2020
Photos Leaked Of Motionless Cube UFO
Government photos of a cube like motionless UFO have leaked to the public. This is obviously a Galactic Federation scout ship of some sort and be should all be alarmed.
”Mellisa
Melissa Carone got on Inside Edition to let everyone know she was not intoxicated during her appearance in Michigan and that she loved her portrayal on SNL. She needs to milk this for as long as she can and maybe get a wine cooler endorsement out of this.
Should You Get Your Older Relatives A Robot Companion?
France Gives Go Ahead For Bionic Soldier Development
France’s armed forces ministry has approved the development of bionic soldiers that will be resistant to pain and stress. They have also started research on a pill that will keep soldiers awake for long periods and surgical implants that will enhance hearing. Speed and episodes of The Six Million Dollar Woman will also be provided.
SPORTS
Dez Bryant Gets Pulled During Pre Game For Covid, Quits Season On Twitter
Dez Bryant was pulled from pre game warmups last night for testing positive for Covid. He then went to Twitter to bitch, quit the rest of the season and let everyone know he was gonna be pounding some wine. Dez, you’re still as crazy as ever, congrats.
Tell me why they pull me from warming up so I can go get tested… my shit come back positive… I tested positive for Covid WTF
— Dez Bryant (@DezBryant) December 9, 2020
The crazy thing is i have the same damn routine…. this shit do not make sense to me
— Dez Bryant (@DezBryant) December 9, 2020
Yea I’m going to go ahead and call it a quit for the rest of the season… I can’t deal with this
— Dez Bryant (@DezBryant) December 9, 2020
I got covid everyone
— Dez Bryant (@DezBryant) December 9, 2020
Since I tested positive for Covid before the game do the game stop or go on? @NFL
— Dez Bryant (@DezBryant) December 9, 2020
I’m about to drink some wine and cope….
— Dez Bryant (@DezBryant) December 9, 2020
ENTERTAINMENT
Kim K Rocks a Green Leather G String
Remember when Kanye was going to make sure his wife dressed conservative? Well how about a g-string!? Wait, did you click already ?
Damn I had a great joke.
Don Jr Hot That SNL Has In Studio Audience
Don Jr wants to know why SNL gets a socially distanced audience of front line workers. Because they do ‘bad’ comedy…..
….About his dad
Read more at independent.co.uk.
Because bad “comedy” is essential but you being able to feed you families and keep your small businesses’ doors open is not. https://t.co/ibaw8G5aux
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) December 8, 2020
Nic Cage To Host New Netflix Series About Swear Words
Nicholas Cage will host the upcoming Netflix show, History Of Swear Words. The 6-episode series will explore the origins behind such words as ‘bitch’, ‘dick’, ‘pussy’ and ‘damn’, along with the cultural impact. Damn you, Nic. Damn you.
January Jones Responds To Upcoming Enquirer Story
January Jones gave a pointed response to an upcoming National Enquirer story that says she’s desperate for attention. The former Mad Men star posted a bikini shot while subtly giving the tabloid the finger. Christmas came early for January Jones fans.
more stories coming soon
everything
more stories coming soon
everything
GOING VIRAL
91 Year Old Guy Does a Post Vaccine Interview
Well everyone fell in love with this sweet old guy who was one of the first to get the UK vaccine.
He’s added months to his life.
this interview wins the day pic.twitter.com/HtnjnyLZwg
— Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) December 8, 2020
more stories coming soon
everything
STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS
What will 2050 Look Like with Culture and Technology?
Does it seem weird that we’re all going to live most of our day in a virtual or augmented reality? Or be dating sex robots? Sure it’s a little Black Mirror, but better than 2020!
Read More Stories From the IB Wire
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