The former head of Space Security for Israel has come to say that a galactic federation of aliens have been in touch with the United States and Israel for years, that Trump is aware of it, that there’s a human and alien base on mars and that it’s still a secret because “humanity isn’t ready”. Well, dude, you’re really fucking over the Federation, aren’t you? Guess they were right.

Read more at jpost.

Curbed created a (depressingly long) honor roll to the fallen- some of the business we’ve lost this year were over 100 years old. We salute you too.

You may not have been essential businesses but you were always essential to NYC.

Read more at curbed.com.

Now Canada has an outbreak of covid among minks.

PETA told us not to wear fur and dammit we should have listened.

Read more at vice.

A stunning new underwater tunnel in Denmark cuts an hour+ trip to just 16 minutes.

Okay this is really making the Lincoln tunnel look like shit.

Read more at jalopnik.

Look, no one gets along with their parents. You can’t understand their music and their politics are racist. Still, Flat Earth is bananas .

Can you place a pillow over her face?

Read more at abc.

What in the name of Chuckwagon dog food is going on here.

It’s time to celebrate the miracle drug and Pfizer and Moderna don’t want to show? What aren’t you telling us!?

Is your drug just cough medicine and melted tic tacs?

Read more at cnbc.com.

Only Fans is worth a billion dollars? A billion fucking dollars? WTF? Are there that many tits
in the world?

Who’s on there? Ivanka and Melania?

Read more at japontimes.co.jp

A man named William Shakespeare was among the first people to receive the COVID vaccine in England. He’s 81, it’s his actual birth name and was vaccinated just 20 miles from the birthplace of the legendary writer. The first person scheduled to receive the vaccine in the U.S. is named Tennessee Williams.

Read more at tmz.

It’s just been announced that breakdancing will be an official Olympic sport starting in 2024 in Paris. Now the kids will finally be interested in the Olympics again! Competitive Fortnite will be up next in 2028.

Read more at cbssports.com.

Police have released the mugshot of the guy who broke into Tompa Brady’s Florida mansion and hung out on the couch. At first, Tom just thought it was Antonio Brown looking for a cup of sugar.

Read more at tmz.com.

Well…it is an $88,000 purse.

Hm, imagine if people were half as interested in how corporations and our government spent their money as celebrities??

Read more at buzzfeed.com.

Should I spend 88K for this damn purse ? Omggg it’s tempting 😩😩😩

— iamcardib (@iamcardib) December 6, 2020

Also I donated a million dollars to fans thru cashapp 2 months ago https://t.co/XF9sAjWIuz

— iamcardib (@iamcardib) December 6, 2020

Rashida Jones crushed it on On The Rocks with Bill Murray. She was adorable in The Office and Parks and Rec, Who knew that would lead to running a news organization.

Oh, different Rashida Jones. Never mind.

Read more at mediaite.com.

Christopher Nolan went off on Warner Bros after they announced they’re releasing 17 of their major films next year in theaters and onto HBO Max at the same time. Nolan called HBO Max “the worst streaming service”. Guess he hasn’t watched anything on Hulu then.

Read more at hollywoodreporter.com.

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Mario Lopez plays Harlan Sanders in the new Lifetime short film, ‘A Recipe For Disaster’. The plot has Sanders as a chef who falls his boss’ evil daughter. The mini-movie is part of a new partnership between the network and KFC. Their next project will be a rom-com starring Dustin Diamond called ‘A Recipe For Stupidity’.

Target customers are claiming that Santa’s boots in the company’s Christmas cookie package looks like a penis. Target is finally selling something for the sexually frustrated.

Read more at nypost.

Target's 'kinky' Christmas cookies have moms boycotting — and giggling https://t.co/SHWDLcWBPw pic.twitter.com/AINKUDDSZF

— New York Post (@nypost) December 4, 2020

everything