It’s being theorized that OSama Bin Laden communicated to the Al Qaeda network by putting encrypted messages in porn videos. Now the porn industry has blood on its hands. Thanks, terrorism.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

Elon Musk thinks he’s a big deal because he builds space ships but Branson gets in the sum bitches.

Like a virgin in space for the very first time.

Read more at cnbc.com.

No shoes no shirt no problem. No mask, well you are going to have to learn to swim, Karen.

# hoax # pizzagate

Read more at yahoo.com.

Ferry riders are turning on the maskless couple. The two cops seem to be split on what to do pic.twitter.com/z0BgYdUYpu

— Jake Offenhartz (@jangelooff) September 6, 2020

The Air Force is testing out using robot dogs to patrol the permiter of bases acting as security. Death by robot dog army gon rogue would be a fitting end to 2020.

Read more at thedrive.com.

Governor Cuomo has yet to release an indoor dining plan for NYC which may mean up to 64% of restaurants in the city could close permanently. And all be replaced by Chipotle’s in 2022.

Read more at dailymail.

Novak Djokovic was eliminated from the entire US Open after he let his rage get the better of him during a match this weekend.

Finally someone NFL refs can look down on.

Seen from another angle: pic.twitter.com/zg0Yk41HR0

— We Are Tennis (@WeAreTennis) September 6, 2020

The Olympic Committee says there will not be another postponement of the Olympic games no matter what happens with Covic this year. 2021 is happening no matter what.

If you finish the triathlon in first while wearing a mask, that should earn you an extra gold medal.

Read more at gizmodo.

The NFL has created crowd noise loops for each team specific to their stadium at 75 decibels high. The usual crowd noise for a packed stadium is over 100 decibels which is leading players to believe sign stealing is going to increase this season. Bill Belichick is having wet dreams about this.

Read more at theringer.com.

Tom Bergeron was replaced on Dancing With the Stars by Tyra Banks and now he’s making fun of the new promo she did for the show.

Tom. It’s over. You’re starting to look like the bride left at the alter who won’t take off the wedding dress.

Read more at buzzfeed.

During a Labor Day weekend party, Cuba Gooding extinguished a guest who accidentally set his shirt on fire. Gooding wanted the fire to be on the ass, but had to settle for a shirt.

Read more at pagesix.com.

Right wing troll Candace Owens called Cardi B ‘illiterate’ after the rapper got an interview with Joe Biden. Cardi responded with a video that allegedly shows Owens’ husband at a Trump Boat Rally partying out to ‘WAP’. Candace Owens is officially The Washington Generals Of Political Pundits.

Read more at tmz.

You wanna know why joe gotta talk to me Candice cause I have the #1 song & yet my sister can’t go to the beach in the Hampton’s wit out trump supporters harassing cause they were by themselves & Santa Claus was harassing my sis GF all because they are a Afro/Hispanic gay couple https://t.co/OLQX2mrzbp pic.twitter.com/ISfJStODme

— iamcardib (@iamcardib) September 6, 2020

The new series Zoom Where It Happens will kick off with an all-Black version of The Golden Girls starring Tracee Ellis Ross, Regina King, Alfre Woodward and Sanaa Lathan. The next episode will be an all-Black version of Will & Grace starring Billy Porter.

Read more at ew.com.

Well it’s nice to see these two together sharing a tune. Just be warned. Whenever they team up, there are always dinosaurs close by.

#lifefindsaway

Via digg.

I Remember You #JeffGoldblum pic.twitter.com/gFAv6LGFH3

— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) September 7, 2020

Ghost Adventures star Zac Bagans recently purchased John Wayne Gacy’s prison artwork along with letters that he wrote to his stepdaughter. He could have picked up The Son Of Sam’s doodlings for free.

Read more at tmz.

Though he considers his bandmates ‘brothers’, Ozzy Osbourne doesn’t have the ‘slightest interest’ to do any reunion shows with Black Sabbath. This is the same guy who ‘retired’ in 1993…

Read more at people.com.

Hey at least it wasn’t a good piece of beef.

I stole a packaged Ham from the store today & gave it a proper burial.
Now the animal's soul can finally be at peace.

RIP little buddy. ✝️👼🏻 Tribute video of burial to follow. #Vegan pic.twitter.com/rHXum3pUwh

— Journalist Katie (@UnbiasedKatie) September 3, 2020

A major brawl went down at a bar and grill in Maryland and some of it was caught on video.

This is not how you social distance.

Read more at tmz.

After 6 years in the Army and 20 years in the Navy, an officer turned her retirement ceremony into a one woman Soul Train line. The Navy wants to use this clip to help recruiting.

After serving 6 years in the Army and 20 years in the Navy, she retires and walked out like this….. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 She deserves that walk!! pic.twitter.com/294B4hdHke

— Muzi 29 Aug (@_MuzieB) September 4, 2020

Worst thing about baking is waiting for the bake. My name is Paul and I eat it raw.

Diabetes is real kid.

Via pop sugar.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Cade (@littlechefcade)

Rollin with homies while crushing that #wapchallenge

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kate Stanforth (@katestanforth)

everything

The New York Times is giving your their list of the best shows to watch on Netflix right now, and yeah, Cobra Kai is on the list.

Here’s plenty of distraction but once you finish all 50 does that mean you have to fold your laundry??

Read more at nytimes.com.

everything

You have three choices: Applebee’s, Cheesecake Factory, Red Lobster, or Olive Garden

No no no stop! Don’t hang yourself! This is just a sick, twisted hypothetical… you can’t deny those Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits though.

You gotta choose one for your birthday dinner. Which are you going with? pic.twitter.com/2nPRXTQEcB

— 𝚁𝚢𝚊𝚗 𝙺. 𝚂𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚑 (@MeWeFree_) September 6, 2020

It was fucking hot this weekend, and Southern California broke the record for highest recorded temperature for the date, at 121 Degrees

We get it, Earth. You don’t want us here.

Read more at nytimes.

City Lab is reporting “Overdose deaths are surging during the pandemic, but proposals to prevent fatalities through supervised drug use are facing new obstacles. ”

Here’s a tip. Stay awake.

Read more at bloomberg.

2020 is full of scary things, but Covid-19 is at the top of the list.

Dear god, if anything good can come of 2020 being canceled, it would not seeing anyone in this costume.

Read more at slate.

MarioKart fans are not going to be able to race a toy MarioKart around a course in their home.

This makes Rainbow Road look like shit.

Customers became enraged when they found out that Taco Bill cut the Mexican Pizza from their menu.

Come on, I’m sure you can find something else to give you diarrhea at midnight.

PLEASE RETWEET THIS if you think @tacobell is making A mistake by CANCELING the Mexican pizza!!!

With enough RT’s maybe we can stop this!!!

— bert kreischer (@bertkreischer) September 3, 2020

Just heard the most awful news. Starting November 5th @tacobell is getting rid of the Mexican Pizza. As if 2020 couldn’t get any worse. Why does Taco Bell want to hurt us? pic.twitter.com/LeWfgYFUtE

— Tom Bartkowski (@TomBartkowski) September 3, 2020

You thought you were a procrastinator??

Read more at cbslocal.com.

Fat guys smoking cigars with loose fitting shirts is back? Did it ever leave? In New Jersey, I mean.

Bada Bing.

Read more at melmagazine.com.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Every Outfit On The Sopranos (@sopranosstyle)

Yes these are dark and trying days. Thank God we have a civil servant like Marky Mark Zuckerberg.

Gonna give this a like.

Read more at axios.

Tuesday has been called ‘Tumbleweed Tuesdays’ in the Hamptons for years. It’s the day the year round residents celebrate the summer folks heading back to the city. Not this year.

“Nobody Is Fucking Leaving”

Read more at vanityfair.com.

If you have a little money to invest why not pick up James Cameron’s old house?? No way your your friends on social media will get sick of your constant “I’m king of the world!” posts.

James Cameron Lists Massive Malibu Compound

Well they’ve been calling themselves ‘the pickers’ to fool us into believing they like the banjo but the real name was revealed.

Can we all agree that the Washington Football team doesn’t have the worst name?

Read more at tmz.

The Robstown Cotton Pickers come out before their season opener against London tonight.@kiii3sports #3SportsBlitz #txhsfb pic.twitter.com/5iCJHd6Fny

— Chris Thomasson – KIII Sports (@ChrisThomasson7) September 5, 2020

To explain this to Gen Xers, Lou Brock was Ricky Henderson before there was a Ricky Hendersons.

To millennials, there is no one you know that compares.

Read more at nypost.

Johnny Manziel thinks the The Rock can resurrect the XFL, but insists that he’s retired from football. Come on Johnny Football, you only need a run in the XFL to complete your collection of league failures.

Read more at tmz.

How can you say that youre not responsible?
What does it have to do with me?
What is my reaction?
What should it be?
Confronted by this latest atrocity
Driven to tears
Driven to tears
Driven to tears

Read more at yahoo.

Heartfelt and powerful.

This is about more than football. pic.twitter.com/cbnRsjfDgd

— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) September 5, 2020

An 11 year old youth football player had to leave his team after he kneeled during the national anthem before one game due to the controversy. If the XFL has a youth league they need to pick him up immediately.

Read more at dailymail.

Barkley knows best, so everyone get off Steve Nash’s dick.

Charles Barkley sounds off on @stephenasmith saying Steve Nash got Nets job because of white privilege. #12Sports pic.twitter.com/HlkG3tPfOO

— Cameron Cox (@CamCox12) September 4, 2020

Soap opera budgets must be in the gutter.

Via digg.

@cristinafuentes128The show must go on 🤣🤣🤣 ##covid ##lmfao ##dying ##makeitwork ##theboldandthebeautiful ##mannequin ##trynottolaugh ##safetyfirst♬ Happy Laughing – Sound Effect

Pam Anderson claimed that she said that she was never married to Jon Peters and that it was all ‘just a bizarre theatrical lunch’. Would that make her marriage to Tommy Lee a lost weekend?

Read more at toofab.

Robert Downey, Jr shot down the rumor that he’ll be appearing in the upcoming Black Widow movie, saying he’s ‘all done’ with the MCU. He’s hard at work trying to make Doolittle a movie franchise.

Read more at nme.

After Congressman Matt Gaetz said that Charlie Sheen carried Two And A Half Men, Cryer responded, noting that he won an Emmy a year after Sheen’s departure. Sorry, Jon, we only remember ‘tiger blood’, nothing else.

Read more at yahoo.

Bradley Cooper said that he finds awards season ‘very interesting and utterly meaningless’. Bradley pulled a Jackson Maine and pissed on the Academy.

Read more at yahoo.com.

Kim Kardashian is planning to go after the Martha Stewart empire by launching a line of home, bedroom and bathroom products. Stewart plans to counter by making food porn with Ray J.

Read more at pagesix.com.

Pop star Aaron Carter made his porn debut on Cam Soda, taking a shower and playing his guitar naked. It’s the biggest audience he’s had in years.

Read more at metro.co.uk.

She’s as stunning as her mom but why aren’t the gossip rags calling her the Gerber Baby !?

Don’t show Pete this, he’s a fragile lad.

Read more at yahoo.com.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kaia (@kaiagerber)

John Malkovich’s son was arrested among 26 other people during a Portland protest this weekend. Charlie Kaufman is currently working on the screenplay for Being John Malkovich’s Son

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

If you have watched “Mom” over the past seven seasons than you are probably someone we’ve never met.

Enjoy your long weekend.

Read more at cnn.com.

The Chinese star of the live action Mulan has shown support for the Hong Kong police which has caused a movement to boycott watching the film from Disney. But it should still be OK to watch the animated version.

Read more at theguardian.com.

Yeah, masks are weird and annoying. I’d much rather show up at Walmart looking like Astronaut Jones.

this guy made a very interesting mask from r/nextfuckinglevel

It’s the mash up no one asked for but we got it anyway. Cardi B is sour of the Freddie Mercury for the Zoomer generation.

There’s a lot of possible pit falls. Best to just get your mom to make them for you.

How every common mistake changes a cookie 🍪 pic.twitter.com/j9NLKkWsGW

— Food Insider (@InsiderFood) September 4, 2020

This dude just wanted a hair cut, not end up on an episode of Punked.

Impractical Jokers for you youngsters.

Lmao I’m fucking dying over here with his videos 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/IjTWfgnENy

— lord vader (@elizabethdre_) September 4, 2020

“Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony
this life
Trying to make ends meet,
you’re a slave to the money then you die.”

Via digg.

Human life in 23 seconds from r/funny

An Australian morning radio show had a father and daughter make out for $1,000. Their next segment will have twin brothers play tummy sticks.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

Variety did a ranking of the all time greatest live albums.

What’s a live concert??? Was that something back in days before Covid?

Read more at variety.com.

Google released the data but if we’re to believe them, the good folks in Nebraska said to hell with steaks and burgers this summer, let’s just grill up some peaches.

Read more at thedailymeal.com.

Hey if you think 90s Rock and your mind immediately goes to Smash Mouth, you are not going to like this list

Prejudice against fat singers.

Read more at ultimateclassicrock.

A study released in the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal asked 252 heterosexual men and women about their porn habits and found no significant link between porn use and mental health, sexual satisfaction, body image, or sexism.

So if porn isn’t to blame, guess it’s just you?

Read more at dazedigital.

Particularly in women in the study, porn use was actually a good thing for both the porn user and her partner. “For women, regardless of partner’s sex, using pornography was associated with their own and their partner’s higher sexual desire…” https://t.co/YU8YhYqy5x

— Faith Harper (@TheIntimacyDr) September 1, 2020