Friday August 28: Daily Links
FRIDAY 8.27
NEWS STORIES
Why Is Jacob Blake is Handcuffed to Hospital Bed!?
The dude is paralyzed from 7 shots to the back. Yet he’s handcuffed to a bed! Oh and the guy who shot him? Not handcuffed!
Did we all get dosed !?
Conservationist Killed by his Lions
“Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down, he thought
“Well, isn’t this nice”
And isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?”
QAnon Supporter Has Slight Trouble Explaining His Beliefs On CSPAN
It’s a wonder this guy was able to operate a cell phone.
So, a Q Anon supporter just called into C-SPAN and the host asked him to explain what it was. The guy trailed off and hung up. pic.twitter.com/B0lpULSKSw
— Tyler Buchanan (@Tylerjoelb) August 27, 2020
Melania And Ivanka Have A Great Relationship
They also have a lot in common, they both have slept with Donald.
The disdain she has for Ivanka is all of us. #BeBest
— Dana Goldberg (@DGComedy) August 28, 2020
1919 Manual For Screenwriters Sez There Are Only 37 Possible Stories
A manual published in 1919 called Ten Million Photoplay Plots by “authority” Wycliff Aber Hill says all movies come down to 37 basic storylines.
They seem to have missed the falling in lust with the pizza delivery boy trope.
coming soon
everything
SPORTS
Drew Brees Puts Jacob Blake Name on Helmet
Drew Brees has learned to play the game. Not football, he had that down cold. The social game
in the BLM times.
Fuck it, Go Bucs.
Saints' wearing of Jacob Blake's name on helmets 'a good start,' but more steps promised @drewbrees @demario__davis @MalcolmJenkins #CannonHinnantsLifeMattered Why didn’t you put his name on your helmets? https://t.co/B6ffTf0wVc
— Molon Labe (@MolonLabeCDH) August 27, 2020
Chicago Bears Disavow Brian Urlacher Over His NBA Post
Brian Urlacher made a post criticizing the NBA’s protests:
“Brett Favre played the MNF game the day his dad died, threw 4 TDs in the first half, and was a legend for playing in the face of adversity. NBA players boycott the playoffs because a dude reaching for a knife, wanted on a felony sexual assault warrant, was shot by police.”
The Bears then made a statement saying his views don’t reflect that of the organizations. He can always blame it on concussions.
Read more at bleacherreport.com.
Statement from Chicago Bears players: pic.twitter.com/pEL2ywtMD1
— Chicago Bears (@ChicagoBears) August 27, 2020
ENTERTAINMENT
Jennifer Lawrence Back in New York City !
Looks like Jerry Seinfeld’s New York Cheerleading is starting to work. J.Law is back in New York.
When is she going back to movies?
R. Kelly Beat Up In Jail
R. Kelly is back in solitary confinement because it’s the only place he is safe. Guys get to know him.
You just might make a friend.
A piss friend.
Is Bradley Cooper Rebooting Shampoo!?
Bradley Cooper is playing a groovy 1970s hairdresser in Paul Thomas Anderson’s new flick. His reps denied that he will be the subject in a new Earl Douglas joke.
https://www.tmz.com/2020/08/27/bradley-cooper-70s-film-paul-thomas-anderson-jon-peters-barbra-streisand/
Captain America Supports BLM
The rest of the Avengers must still be on the fence.
Captain America wilding 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/iUD7TI4g6F
— GC 👑 (@_D1POP) August 28, 2020
Bella Thorne Angers OnlyFans Community With Overpriced Non-Nudes
Bella Thorne’s foray into Only Fans is not being received well. She’s charging $200 bucks for non nude pics and the rest of the content creators on the site are now not getting paid until October and their rates have been diminished. She needs to drop some hardcore content for free if she wants to make this up to everyone.
i hope bella thorne never has a career ever again pic.twitter.com/dflxIdsFpN
— shelby (@cloudmyg) August 28, 2020
https://twitter.com/cloudmyg/status/1299324272876363776/photo/1
Terry Crews Call Back His Tweet Seeking A Boycott Of....Magic City?!?
Terry Crews got slammed on Twitter for calling for a boycott of the popular Atlanta strip club Magic City. His plate is going to be awfully light at the BLM Labor Day cookout.
My tweet yesterday however well intentioned, was ill-timed.
I pray for the many women trapped and trafficked in the life of the sex industry and see no way out. I want them to know they are not product to be used, but People to be loved.
— terry crews (@terrycrews) August 28, 2020
Halle Berry Promotes ‘Self-Love’ With Topless Pic
Halle Berry posted a pic of her topless in white pants saying ‘Self-love is never selfish’. Her followers put that into practice using this shot.
GOING VIRAL
Mom Nails The Joke
Mom jokes are the only thing that are worse than dad jokes.
Mom killed it!
Too bad her daughter butchered the set up
Parrot Does a Great Matthew McConaughey
Well two things Mr Parrot.
One You nailed your impression.
Two We are all sick and tired of that impression.
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