Thursday July 23: Daily Links
THURSDAY 7.23
NEWS STORIES
Trump Describes His Cognitive Test in true Trump Fashion
When you look back at 2020, what comes to mind?
“Person, Woman, Man, Cameron, TV”
You have to admit, it’s catchier than Make America Great Again.
Read more at theguardian.
California Cracks Down on Rule Breaking Restaurants Serving Alcohol to Customers Who Haven’t Ordered A Real Meal
Since bars are spreading covid, some states including California have strict rules that you can only serve alcohol to people who have ordered a meal.
According to the state of California chip and guac ain’t a meal.
And according to Banyan, soup is not a meal.
Read more at dailymail.co.uk.
Title
The Mooch is saying that he believes Ghislaine Maxwell actually has dirt on Trump and him saying that he wishes her well was a message to her to keep her mouth shut, implying he was going to help her out with her legal troubles. She’s gonna need Roger Stone’s lawyer.
British Writer Claims Prince Harry Much Less Intelligent Than Meghan Markle
British writer Lady Colin Campbell said to a magazine that Prince Harry is much less intelligent than Meghan Markle and that leads to him doing everything she asks of him. Hey, you can’t blame Harry for generations of inbreeding, it’s not his fault Meghan comes from more diverse stock.
Ice Cream Sales Up, Hygiene Products Down During Pandemic
Sales reports from Unilever have shown a drop in the sale of personal hygiene products but a surge in ice cream sales since March. Don’t forget, ice cream can serve as tooth paste if you really want to have something delicious in the morning.
Scientists Think Sharks May Be Going Extinct
Scientists have performed a worldwide study of shark population along coastal reefs and have found that alon 20% of them they’ve found no sharks. They’re blaming overfishing and the increased demand for shark meat around the world.
Real Karens Are Sick Of Their Name Being Disparaged LE
Karen has a nice life for 45 years. Nice husband, kids and a home she adores. Then one day she woke up
and her name ‘meant white bitchy cunt.’
SPORTS
Toronto Blue Jays Still Looking for a Home
Blue Jays keep asking cities and they keep being told no. Toronto would let them use their own stadium as long as they don’t allow Americans to be the visitors.
Oh fuck.
ENTERTAINMENT
Archie Comics Says Archie is Not a Simp
The people who put out Archie comics are asking readers to stop writing “Archie is a simp” in the comments section.
Oh Shit, who knew that you could write Archie comics and have the balls to judge someone else’s writing.
You are a bunch of Simps.
Please stop writing "Archie is a simp" in the comments of our YouTube videos. You will receive a permanent ban from our channel. Thank you.
— Archie Comics (@ArchieComics) July 21, 2020
Clint Eastwood Suing
Clint Eastwood doesn’t like people saying he is living the movie business to pursue a new career in CBD sales. So he’s suing.
Okay, confused… this sequel to Gran Torino sounds pretty weird.
TITLE
everything
GOING VIRAL
Anti Masker in Panera Bread Uses a Fart Defense why Masks Are Pointless
How toxic are this lady’s farts that she compares them to a a lethal super virus?
Anti-masker at a Panera in California causes a scene & blows in people’s faces before using “the fart defense” pic.twitter.com/oXdVnh3HJb
— Fifty Shades of Whey (@davenewworld_2) July 22, 2020
Internet Obsessed With Haunted Clown Hotel
There’s a clown motel in Nevada that sits right next to a graveyard adn the internet is now obsessed. This should definitely lead to a Let’s See Dem Clown Ghosts festival.
https://twitter.com/i/events/1286002905217216517?s=09
STUDY SAYS
8 Percent of Americans Want Schools to Open
How much would you have to hate your kids tO send them to school in a raging pandemic.
8 percent of Americans have really annoying kids.
Read More Stories From the IB Wire
.
.
