He’s out buying essentials and an Oreo is pretty damn essential.

Grab the milk and let’s get out of here.

look who my sister caught at Cub Foods in Plymouth. J. Alexander Keung, one of the officers who lynched #GeorgeFloyd in cold blood. pic.twitter.com/PVX4pFijab

— josiah (@jk3rd_) June 21, 2020

Can we also get a new national anthem too? It’s just too damn hard to sing.

As a descendant of Francis Scott Key, let me just say… this is fine. https://t.co/wx9fhsdfiZ

— John Gary (@johngary) June 20, 2020

Vice wants to save you from reading Bolton’s book with 16 highlights including Trump saying invading Venezuela would be “cool” and he was okay with concentration camps.

Thank god someone has put together the SparkNotes for The Room Where it Happened. (Or CliffsNotes if you’re a boomer)

Read more at vice.com.

A Florida senior citizen had to shove his way into a Walmart after being told he couldn’t enter without a mask. Refusing to comply, the belligerent man eventually made his way into an aisle before back up arrived to escort him out. The Miami Dolphins need to give this dude a tryout to help them with their pass rush.

Read more at tmz.com.

Meanwhile in Florida clear folks feeling entitled lol ? #COVID19 #coronavirus #maskon #maskoff #mask pic.twitter.com/AqbBqGABff

— Cali_CoCo (@CaliCoCo3) June 20, 2020

The American Museum Of Natural History will remove the statue of President Theodore Roosevelt from its entrance. The sculpture – which has been there since 1940 – depicts the former President on a horse with a Black man on one side and a Native American on the other. Those opposed to the statue have said that it depicts colonization and imperialism. Ideas for a replacement include a sculpture featuring representatives of all nationalities giving the finger to Rudy Giuliani.

Read more at tmz.com.

Apparently users on Tik Tok and the K Pop fans online mass reserved tickets to Trump’s rally with no intention of showing up. Same goes for actual Trump followers.

Read more at nypost.com.

Firework complaints are up 80 times the amount they were at the same time last year. Which means it’s gonna sound like WW3 by the time July 4th hits.

Read more at nytimes.com.

When people in New York say they’re confused and suspicious about the amount of fireworks going off every single night, this is what we mean ?? pic.twitter.com/3Qt5hLLbhF

— Joshua Potash (@JoshuaPotash) June 22, 2020

The family of the woman who was picked to portray Aunt Jemima back in 1925 are against the rebrand of the product. They consider it a point of pride. Uncle Ben’s grandchildren have not commented yet.

Read more at nypost.com.

A man in Germany has been taking orders on fans sending pictures of themselves to make cardboard cutouts and set them up in the stands at stadiums. If American sports teams adopt this you still won’t gets a deal on a PSL for the cardboard version of yourself.

Read more at thehustle.co

You know? I think I might’ve misjudged this whole cardboard cut out thing for Tannadice as I’ve just submitted one for myself but it has me gesticulating at an imaginary opposing fan / player.

Need a bit realism though than just people posing for their passport photos. pic.twitter.com/JuM9NOOoCO

— Johnny Proctor (@johnnyroc73) June 20, 2020

The league is now worried about the NBA restarting in Florida with Covid numbers spiking there. New York here they come!

Read more at nypost.com.

Take cover everyone. The South is risin again, and they are dropping cannon balls

Give them this… they don’t give up despite surrendering 100s of years ago.

Read more at tmz.com.

Plane Bearing Confederate Flag Flies Over NASCAR Race https://t.co/45x6t6bdq6

— TMZ (@TMZ) June 21, 2020

I Won’t Back Down was played during Trump’s Tulsa rally without permission from Tom Petty’s family and now they’re sending a cease and desist. Trump could get a JD and The Straight Shot track to replace it though. Unfortunately no one will know what’s happening.

Read more at nypost.

Some rich 90s kid bought the 1959 Martin D-18E acoustic guitar that Kurt Cobain played on ‘Unplugged.’

It’s the new record for most expensive guitar ever sold.

Read more at rollingstone.com.

The Grateful Dead have teamed up with North Coast Organics to create a line of organic, vegan scented deodorants. The names of the fragrances are Skull & Roses (lavender and rose), ‘Sunshine’ (blood orange and bergamot), ‘Timber (Douglas fir and sage)’, ‘Workingman’s (cedarwood and juniper) and unscented. The unwashed feet fragrance didn’t make the cut.

Read more at nme.com.

The bus from Into The Wild has been airlifted out of the Alaskan wilderness because too many people have died or become standard attempting to reach it. Now everyone will have to go back to searching for the fountain of youth. It has to still be out there.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

With the rise of Only Fans in the post covid world, porn directors who aren’t also performers are finding themselves without a way to make a living. Unless of course they create a new series. Inside the Porn Actors Glory Hole. That could work out very well.

Read more at thedailybeast.com.

AMC theaters were intiaily saying you won’t have to wear a mask in their theaters once they reopen but got a huge amount of backlash. Now they’re changed their tune and you’re going to have to wear a mask in the theater. If only they can change their policy on overcharging for popcorn, candy and soda.

Read more at boston.com.

John Oliver the tiny bespectacled comedy nerd laughed when Donald Trump said in 2017 that they would come for the Washington and Jefferson statues.

Oliver laughed because he’s a foreigner and doesn’t know how deep American racism runs.

Read more at foxnews.com.

You’re saying drinking with one hand is actually possible?

Exactomundo.

One hand pic.twitter.com/nrCOW27Yuk

— Henry Winkler (@hwinkler4real) June 22, 2020

The Ringer put out a ranking of the top 20 movie weddings starting with Peter and Juliet’s wedding in Love Actually in the #20 slot, to the remake of Father of the Bride in slot #1 (oddly not even a side reference to the Spencer Tracy/Elizabeth Taylor version).

Even the last wedding on this list is better than any wedding any of us actually had to go to.

Read more at theringer.com.

The answer, like most things, is pretty weird.

everything

A recent survey found that 72% of Americans think this is the low point of the country. Just wait and see if the NFL gets canceled this year, we can break the 90th percentile.

Read more at theeconomiccollapseblog.

A survey has found that even despite the pandemic, 75% of people who have gone on cruises would still go on one.

Its not that weird once you realize we had already written off 100% of people who would have gone on cruises before the pandemic as insane. Those are cult numbers.

Read more at eater.com.

The good news? There’s a house in Flushing, NY available for 800,000. The bad news? You’re going to spend about 2 million in repairs. The interior is so bad squatters are passing on it.

Via digg.

Activist Gary Chambers, Jr called out school board member Connie Bernard for shopping online during their weekly meeting. During a heated discussion the previous week on whether or not Robert E. Lee High School should be renamed, Bernard said that those in favor ‘needed to brush up on their history’ before speaking. After Chambers schooled Bernard on Robert E. Lee’s racist history, demanded that she resign immediately, and called her racist, Bernard quickly left the meeting. She did issue an apology for her comments about the Confederate general and denied she was shopping on her laptop. She also reportedly looking to push school board meetings on Zoom with the video turned off.

Read more at tmz.

Finally America can exhale knowing no kid will ever be called an Eskimo pie again.

Is Canadian Pie the way to go or too close?

Read more at nypost.com.

You’ve been getting hammered through that whole quarantine now the government would like you to limit to one drink a day.

No, the drink can’t be the size of a kiddie pool.

Read more at politico.com.

Who knew all that the slaves really needed for their freedom was a cheery disposition!?

Read more at buzzfeed.

This SnapChat #Juneteenth filter is…um…interesting.

Smile to break the chains? Okay then. pic.twitter.com/Wyob3kT3ew

— Mark S. Luckie (@marksluckie) June 19, 2020

yoooooo, I barely get on Snapchat but I had to see what the tea was… yalll .. wtf ????? smile you break the chains ???? Deadass ? ? pic.twitter.com/GWdvpmsAkv

— Friendly Black Mami? (@_BodyBySunny) June 19, 2020

Think of this more like The Bride’s “Death List Five” from Kill Bill.

But embarrassingly, there’s a lot more than five…

Read more at vice.com

Elon Musk announced Juneteeth a holiday for his employees but you have to use your paid time off days to enjoy the day.

‘Juneteenth is henceforth considered a US holiday at Tesla & SpaceX,’

You may want to refrain from using “henceforth”. Oh and by the way you’re going to have to use that PTO.

A little anti-climatic…

Read more at buzzfeed.

Juneteenth is henceforth considered a US holiday at Tesla & SpaceX

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 19, 2020

It does require use of a paid-time-off day, which is true of many other holidays

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 19, 2020

During a public hearing with the Ventura County Board Of Supervisors, Deborah Bader attempts to compare a new guideline requiring wearing a mask to being a terrorist, burglar, into S&M, and a sex slave. Bader then pulled out a Trump sign and sung ‘God Bless America’ – screwing up the lyrics in the process. Forget politics, put her on The Masked Singer.

We all talk endless about how sports will look when it comes back but with Phils and Yanks showing up with covid , it may be a wash this year.

Looks like a very Madden Fall

Read more at trust.org.

Eagles tight end Dallas Goedert had to spend the night in the hospital after getting sucker punched at a South Dakota restaurant on Friday night. He’s already home and doing ‘fine’ according to a team source. Reportedly, Goedert got hit after saying the offense is clicking much better with Carson Wentz than it did with Nick Foles.

Read more at espn.

The Washington Redskins have been running from changing their shitty offensive name for years. It’s time dudes.

How about Washington Eskimo Pies?

Read more at mediaite.com.

The statue of former Redskins owner George Preston Marshall was removed from outside of RFK Stadium yesterday morning. Marshall owned the team from 1932 until 1969, openly resisting to adding black players to his roster, and had the marching band play ‘Dixie’ for 23 years. However, the removal is considered largely symbolic, since the team has played at FedEx Field since 1997, and its current owner Dan Synder refuses to change what many consider to be a racist name. Since the team has been associated for losing for so long, why not change the name to the Washington Senators?

Read more at espn.com.

Can you believe it’s been 20 years since Penny Lane stole William Millers heart? Now we have podcasts.

See you on July 8.

Read more at rollingstone.com.

Philip Seymour Hoffman in ‘The Master’ is the best performance in the last 10 years. No argument here. Of course it may have been the second best performance in that film .

Read more at indiewire.com.

Mamma Mia producer Judy Craymer hints that she wants to do a third Mamma Mia movie, but because of the pandemic, there’s no real timetable when it will happen. Craymer also said that once it’s good to start shooting again, she’s hoping to use the new ABBA songs that are scheduled to come out later this year. Craymer wouldn’t comment on a report that the title of the film is Mamma Mia – Why Are You Doing This To Us Again.

Read more at ew.com.

Public Enemy dropped their new single, ‘State Of The Union (STFU)’, which takes aim at the current administration and urges people ‘to fight against racism, injustice and oppression with their vote’. Reps for the group deny reports that Flavor Flav is talks to reboot ‘Flavor Of Love’, but all of the women are Republicans.

Read more at ew.com

Snoop Dogg told Beats 1 radio that he and Willie Nelson are releasing a new song together ‘in a couple of weeks’. The two last collaborated on the 2009 single ‘My Medicine’. Reps would not confirm that the working title for the song is ‘Smoke Or Get Smoked’.

Read more at nme.com.

Dude, this is not going to be the best look when you get to court.

You come off a little irresponsible

WATCH: Hit-and-run driver drags motorcycle down 91 Freeway in Corona. The motorcyclist struck was not seriously injured https://t.co/uodDEehvW5 pic.twitter.com/DXc7nzDLQv

— CBS Los Angeles (@CBSLA) June 20, 2020

Check out this baby’s intensity. She just loves and truth be told…

She’s just as good as anyone else

MY DAUGHTER IS A DJ ? Wait for the drop y’all i’m flipping out pic.twitter.com/5gfqAEufzP

— Yoga Dad (@BrandoGrows) June 19, 2020

Spoiler alert. It’s probably broccoli

Read more at thedailymeal.com.

A study found that over half of the responders said the thing that made a house fun when they were a kid was if it had tasty snacks. Doesn’t matter if the parents were off the rails, as long as they had dunkaroos, everything was OK.

Read more at nypost.com.