Sure, This Senate Candidate’s Sacrificed Animals, But He’s Never Dismembered A Goat

candidateAugustus Invictus is a Libertarian running to be a U.S. Senator from Florida. He is a Pagan who, after some rumors, admitted that, yes, he has sacrificed animals. Invictus strongly denies, though, that he has ever dismembered a goat. If elected, Invictus promises to keep not-dismembering goats.

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