Michael Ian Black Deconstructs “Candle In The Wind” on Twitter
On Twitter, Michael Ian Black took some time today to carefully explore his feelings about Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind”. The live version of the song was released in the U.S. in 1986, so this must have been bothering him for quite awhile. Now the trouble with twitter is, that if you weren’t checking your time line this afternoon, you might have missed this glorious little musical analysis. But that’s why we’re here. To preserve and share.
In the following series of tweets, I will discuss the lyrics to the chorus of "Candle in the Wind," which are terrible.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
First of all, "You lived your life like a candle in the wind" is poorly worded because it implies candles have lives, which they do not.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
It is basically saying "You lived your life like a candle in the wind lived its life," which makes no sense.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
It also implies that what killed Marilyn Monroe were forces beyond her control – as a wind blows a candle, instead of a treatable addiction.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
Then: "Never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in." Wait – I thought the problem was wind, not rain. Why is it raining now?
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
And candles do not "cling."
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
"I would have like to have known you, but I was just a kid." Were it not for his youth, Elton would have befriended Marilyn. ARROGANCE!
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
"Your candle burned out long before your legend ever did." In a windstorm, a candle does not burn out, it blows out.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
Is the candle in a windstorm, clinging in a rainstorm, burning out or blowing out? Get your shit together, Elton John.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
Finally, I know Bernie Taupin wrote the lyrics, but Elton sang them. Both of them should have their candles blown out for this tripe.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
A quick post-script: at the end of the song, he goes "Goodbye Norma Jean from the young man in the 22nd row…" A second ago you were a kid.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
"Who sees you as something more than sexual/ More than just our Marilyn Monroe." Not to put too a fine a point on it, but you're gay.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
It would have been weird if you DID only see her as something sexual.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 10, 2014
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