Not Enough Room in the Lifeboat: Conquerors



The World Conqueror Ship is Sinking and Uh Oh, There’s Only Room For 3…

Just imagine. Four Conquerors, all on one ship. But oh shit, the ship is sinking. Genghis Kahn, Alexander the Great, Attila the Hun and Napoleon are about to go down with the ship. There’s a lifeboat, but there’s only room for three of them. Which world conqueror doesn’t get a seat?

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100 comments
ranch
ranch

french people suck

cal5000
cal5000

Napoleon cant fight.

AnthonyLoman
AnthonyLoman

Khan put worm's in McCoy's brain. He dies.

C H
C H

Napoleon must go - he's French and didn't even win the wars named after him.

Frank White
Frank White

Alexander the Great was a Fez.  Sincerely, Jerry Barka

 

wagonwheels
wagonwheels

Attila has to be in, he's the baddest dude of the four. One on one he crushes the other three. He was on the front lines, kinda like a Mongolian Brad Pitt from the movie Troy.

MichaelVoss1
MichaelVoss1

Kick the lumbering jackass off. Oh and btw, nebraska came back to win that game against penn state... GET IT RIGHT

Ojisan
Ojisan

It's gotta be Attila, he's a punk kid on your lawn compared to the other three. Iskandar is of course the safest. I can't imagine what it must have been like to blaze the trails into unknown territory like he did.

galactictraveler
galactictraveler

Hey Hun, Kahn you run to the store and get some Napoleon ice cream for Alexander ?

the jerm
the jerm

How are you going to have three real guys and one from a star trek movie!?

EMC
EMC

Does the listening audience know enough about history to even comment intelligently on this (or anything for that matter)? 

Baldguy74
Baldguy74

Let's face it. Napoleon is just another fucking frog

drewodrew
drewodrew

In the North of Ireland, we call Protestants "The Huns."

Docintoxicated
Docintoxicated

Well if you take into consideration the Punk Frogs for TMNT Alexander would have to go as he was the only one who did not get to be mutant frog.

TemporalGrid
TemporalGrid

The last real man frenchman was Charlemagne and they hadn't even invented France yet.

Docintoxicated
Docintoxicated

Napoleon wasn't actually short, he was 5'7 which was above average at the time. One of the major reasons for the rumor was because he was in the artillery division which was generally reserved for only the largest men who could cart around cannons and such but because he was an excellent officer and strategist he was put in the artillery division.

OP4
OP4

Only one of the died in prison after losing a war - Napoleon. 

jerkstoresean
jerkstoresean

I don't trust any of them to be honest. How do we make it clear to them that this boat is ours?

Steven in VA
Steven in VA

I don't remember Alex in Bill and Ted's adventure.

OllieInChicago
OllieInChicago

Hank The Hun - terrible conqueror.  Fantastic palm ball.  Also, could drain 3's all day.  

Drippy Granny
Drippy Granny

I'm gonna say aids is the best conquer. No one can kill it

BadNewsJeff
BadNewsJeff

I've lost all respect for Napoleon since he started shilling Redbull.  I hate that rap.

JAFO1966
JAFO1966

Alex cuz he turned gay at the end of the movie

JC
JC

I vote off the guy who did things hundreds of years ago.

Jerry65
Jerry65

Alexander, because he ain't so great! Fuck him, don't put great in your name, asking for fucking trouble. See ya!

Docintoxicated
Docintoxicated

Talleyrand actually deserves a lot of the credit for Napoleon, he was a genius.

DrunkEpiphany
DrunkEpiphany

Richard Nixon;  left the planet, conquered the moon.   No one else has ever even attempted to bring a moon rock back to earth.

bmqq316
bmqq316

Fuck that short French prick

TemporalGrid
TemporalGrid

@AnthonyLoman he put them in Chekov's brain. It was Spock who fucked with McCoy's brain, the green bloodec bastard.

OllieInChicago
OllieInChicago

 @TemporalGrid She has a tremendous rack.  I wish Artie Bucco would have ripped her shirt off and banged her in Nuovo Vesuvio.  

galactictraveler
galactictraveler

@Docintoxicated Also the English measuring system was different than the French system .

OllieInChicago
OllieInChicago

 @bmqq316 If you're talking about Gerard Depardieu, I'll find you, 'bmqq316'.  If that's your real name....

Baldguy74
Baldguy74

@EMC Technicalities technicalities

Foggy_Otis
Foggy_Otis

@EMC @Baldguy74 toss him anyway!