Lumber prices are up because like everything else these days, there’s a shortage. But now there are lumber shortage truthers who say there is no shortage, just a cabal with plans to deprive homeowners of the American Dream of buying a house, and price gouging. After a video titled, TRAIN LOADS OF LUMBER JUST STACKED UP !!!! Why,” went viral, now everyone’s hunting down wood stacks and filming the “evidence.”

We’re on to you Biden. No one fools the patriots who love wood.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

“Don’t blame Trump,” the billboard says, you’re stuck with these two, referring to President Biden and VP Harris. It’s signed “From all your deplorables in Calvert County.”

Cmon, a sign that has two shitheads? You gotta love it.

Read more at washington examiner.

CALVERT COUNTY, Md. – A billboard is causing a commotion…
Located near the intersection of Route 4 and Bowie Shop Rd in Huntingtown, it depicts Biden and Harris in cartoon feces.

The sign then says, "DON’T BLAME TRUMP! YOU ARE STUCK WITH THESE TWO SHITHEADS!!!"

Hahaha! #lol pic.twitter.com/KmC3Ag2cqW

— Sammy Jo – My Blood Runs ❤️⚪️💙 (@sammyjoms66) May 6, 2021

Scientist and artist Hannah Sanford is now making bank selling orgasm art on Only Fans. The artist performs sex acts and also sells paintings of visualizations of her orgasms for $500 a pop.

How much for a dirty mask?

I used to work with Fauci — now I sell my orgasm art on OnlyFans https://t.co/hrEEusQ9Uk pic.twitter.com/7b83LjXhWv

— Page Six (@PageSix) May 10, 2021

From the Desk of Donald J Trump isn’t killing it in the engagement department.

It’s funny, you’d think a blog would kill in 2021.

Read more at thedailybeast.

The + pool has been approved and will house a filtration system that lets guests swim in actual river water.

Great, a new place for the mob to dump bodies.

Read more at curbed.

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A post shared by + POOL (@pluspoolny)

Welcome back to the 70’s baby. Fuel shortages have hit the southeast as hoarders stock up in fear of how the Colonial Pipeline hack might affect prices.

But don’t worry the boys should be home from Vietnam in a couple years.

Read more at fox5ny.

Death Wish’s new latte is sold in cans and has four times the caffeine of the regular stuff.

We just sent a package to Fez.

Read more at foodandwine.

“There’s a serious disagreement within the building about the idea of Urban Meyer signing Tim Tebow,” ESPN’s Jeff Darlington said. Well you got Urban Meyer, maybe you should listen to him.

I dunno it’s all in gods hands now.

Read more at sporting news.

Da Mighty Chief account on Twitter is urging you to take his comparisons seriously, whatever that means. He compares Pornstar Abella Danger to LeBron James, Ash Kash to Ja Morant and Mia Khalifa to Enes Kanter for starters.

Basketball and porn. Two things that guys masturbate while watching.

Pornstar/NBA Player Comparisons Thread

(Please take serious) pic.twitter.com/0Hd6ZCshON

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Pornstar: Abella Danger AKA LeBron James

Abella Danger is like LeBron James because shes the best in the game. She’s versatile in both ends of the floors(Lesbian and Straight). The D always surrounds her and shes very good with the ball. Shes also clutch when it matters. pic.twitter.com/9SzYMK07gH

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Ash Kash AKA Ja Morant

Ash Kash like Ja Morant because shes young and new to the game but already a legend. She has the potential to go far in the sport. Sacrificing her body for the long run. Shes also a fan favorite. Shes good at attacking the rim and leaving nothing left. pic.twitter.com/ARCeFtZumJ

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Mia Khalifa AKA Enes Kanter

Mia Khalifa is like Enes Kanter because she had one good season and everyone thinks shes amazing. Shes hated by her country just like Enes. Her boobs are the size of the turkey kurdish monster. Her body frame gives her advantage to be on top of D. pic.twitter.com/qhLUh8wKCY

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Violet Myers AKA Kyle Lowry

Violet Myers is like Kyle Lowry because she has a Humongous Big Grabber Wrabber Juicy Succulent Beatable Eatable Ass. Shes hall of fame worthy, deserves to be an all star, and all around a goat of her franchise. pic.twitter.com/G0VlD2P5iW

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Johnny Sins AKA Michael Jordan

Johnny Sins is like Michael Jordan because hes the GOAT. Johnny Sins did everything. He was a Firefighter, Doctor, Teacher, ETC. He was there when you needed him the most like The Last Airbender. He is the legend, the myth, the man. Also bald. pic.twitter.com/ID3TMlvRkp

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Astrid Wett AKA LaMelo Ball

Astrid Wett is like LaMelo Ball because she has alot of hype surrounding her. Shes already All Star Caliber and everyone is ready for her next move as a player. She has alot of talent but needs to work on her D work and turnovers on the court. pic.twitter.com/EgQCgIOtCh

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Lana Rhodes AKA Steph Curry

Lana Rhodes is Steph Curry because she changed the game. Without Lana Rhodes we wouldn’t have the talent in the league we have right now. She is incredible both sides of the game. Even if she’s slacking on the D her offense will show out. Legendary. pic.twitter.com/2e3lGqLlDQ

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Lena Paul AKA Zion Williamson

Lena Paul is like Zion Williamson because she is built different. She literally had sex with a fan and im not talking an actual person. She has the abilty to be on top of the league but always falls short to due short cumings. Legend in the making. pic.twitter.com/2olXNbA86d

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Crystal Lust AKA Shaquille O’Neal

Crystal Lust is like Shaquille O’Neal because they are both thick asl. They both use their body to their advantage in battle with others. Some say she is the best player of her size and position. D is lightwork to her. BBQ Chicken. pic.twitter.com/LSPGDJsIva

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Riley Reid AKA Russell Westbrook

Riley Reid is like Russell Westbrook because they are both overrated and has a mickey mouse mvp. She started her career off good but over time became annoying. She is still good but she doesn’t hit the same anymore. Legend tho. pic.twitter.com/eM0bBqveJ7

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Sara Jay AKA Vince Carter

Sara Jay is like Vince Carter shes old asl. She has all the traits that you want and was amazing in her prime. Will go down the hall of fame. Hates me and blocked me but I still watch her videos. Tell her to unblock me please I miss her 🙁 pic.twitter.com/qSTi4GafZ6

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Honorable Mentions:

Mia Malkova = Kevin Durant

Brandi Love = James Harden

Angela White = Chris Paul

Lisa Ann = Paul Pierce

Adriana Chechik = Collin Sexton

Dani Daniels = Yao Ming

Autumn Falls = Ben Simmons

Kim Kardashian = Derrick Rose

Madison Ivy = Anthony Bennett

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

Part 2 Coming Soon.

— Twiter Is My Fulltime Job 🥶 (@DaMightyChief) May 10, 2021

You take their Raiders and now this? This city has been through enough.

Read more at espn.

Michael Che wrote the script for SNL’s jabs at Gen Z slang, and was pretty surprised to find out that there’s something called AAVE, and he was accused of appropriating their culture.

Che wrote on IG (before deleting the post, of course), “I’ve been reading about how my ‘gen z’ sketch was misappropriating AAVE and I was stunned cause what the f**k is ‘AAVE’? I had to look it up. Turns out it’s an acronym for ‘African American vernacular english.’ You know, AAVE! That ol’ saying that actual black people use in conversation all the time…”

Additional posts noted that “the sketch bombed,” and he “meant no offense to the ‘aave’ community,” and finally, “I love aave. Aave to the moon!”

All slang comes from black people and always has.

Read more at mediaite.

On @nbcsnl, Michael Che wrote a sketch featuring @elonmusk that was accused of appropriating "African American Vernacular English" (AAVE), despite Che being African American. Here is Che's explanation, since deleted, telling critics to screw off, over several tweets. 1/5 pic.twitter.com/rgeZdsXDxQ

— Nick Gillespie (@nickgillespie) May 11, 2021

Michael Che's (who is Black) reaction to his Gen Z SNL sketch appropriating AAVE is actually the perfect response, and a broader perfect response to the absurdity of academic humanities language creeping its way into "regular" conversations and how stupid it actually is. pic.twitter.com/vsPrsshtap

— Zuzu RU (@ZuzuOnFire) May 11, 2021

Seth Rogen’s new collection of essays, Yearbook, includes a story about the time Rogen and Apatow met with Cruise in 2006. It got pretty nutty with Cruise blaming the pharmaceutical industry for trying to make him appear nutty on Oprah. And Cruise said the media does the same to his good friend Louis Farrakhan. When Apatow and Rogen tried to point out that Farrakhan is anti-semitic, he said, “No! See, that’s the media! They’re distorting all of it!”

Hey you know it’s a nutty get together when Seth Rogen is the sane one.

Remember Seth, there’s no weed as strong as scientology.

Read more at pagesix.

Demi Lovato just announced a new series for Peacock where she will work to find out the truth about the “UFO phenomena.” Along with her sister and a sidekick friend, she promises to “uncover secret government reports and conduct tests at known UFO hot spots.”

Okay Demi, you’re getting high again. And not just california high.

Read more at buzzfeed.

Glover tweeted that the reason tv and film is boring right now is because people are so afraid of getting cancelled that they don’t experiment or take risks.

Sorry dude not everything can be as edgy as community…..

saw people on here havin a discussion about how tired they were of reviewing boring stuff (tv & film).

— donald (@donaldglover) May 11, 2021

we're getting boring stuff and not even experimental mistakes(?) because people are afraid of getting cancelled

— donald (@donaldglover) May 11, 2021

It’s called, “I am the shaman.”

I can’t believe either one of these guys is alive.

Is it haunted by Joan? Because that should shoot the value way up.

Read more at nypost.com.

Vice says novelty items are back in vogue.

Yeah but have you ever stayed at an Airbnb with a giant telephone?! HELLO?!?

Read more at vice.

This Grosse Pointe teacher gave a masterful resignation speech.

This only could have been better if he licked a nipple on his way out.

Is that a monster in the lake?

Nah, pretty sure that was Demi Lovato.

Why does this feel like that web bubble we had back in the year 2000? Right before the ***pop****

@cryptomasun

rate his portfolio out of 10! #bitcoin #crypto #cryptocurrency #xrp #cardano #Dance4Tomorrow #FriendlyFuture

♬ Acid Rain – Lorn

A judge was not too happy when a guy entered Zoom Court with the name ButtFucker 3000.

Look at the shock on this guys face. I think it’s time to take hard look at a saboteur room host.

Via digg.

The Wrap looked at the longest running “entertainment shows” (no talk or sports shows) that are still going strong, including General hospital, Days of our Lives, SNL, The Simpsons, and more.

Sesame Street used to be good, but it’s really redundant.

Read more at The Wrap.