In case you don’t know there seems to be a real banger of a health risk going on, and New York City has some tips to help you continue to engage in sexual activity responsibly. And that means no salad tossing until this pandemic passes, according to a new official NYC Health department document.
“Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your mouth.”
Just a lil smooch?
Read more at nypost.com.
“You are your safest sex partner” — obsessed with NYC’s guide to sex during corona pic.twitter.com/xuKRzD0Jhw
— Chrissy Rutherford (@chrissyford) March 21, 2020
The biggest news on Tuesday? Spring break apology. When the kids partying in Spring Break during Corona went viral last week, one kid that stuck out was Brady Sluder, the first person in the video said: “If I get Corona I get Corona”. He probably heard his chances at ever getting a job at Dell was on the line and Gateway wasn’t returning his calls.
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I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not proud of. I’ve failed, I’ve let down, and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I can’t apologize enough to the people i’ve offended and the lives I’ve insulted. I’m not asking for your forgiveness, or pity. I want to use this as motivation to become a better person, a better son, a better friend, and a better citizen. Listen to your communities and do as health officials say. Life is precious. Don’t be arrogant and think you’re invincible like myself. I’ve learned from these trying times and I’ve felt the repercussions to the fullest. Unfortunately, simply apologizing doesn’t justify my behavior. I’m simply owning up to my mistakes and taking full responsibility for my actions. Thank you for your time, and stay safe everyone. ❤️
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Gabe Brown, Mayor of Walton, Kentucky, posted to Facebook calling everyone dipshits for not taking the Corona outbreak seriously. Are we sure that isn’t Kenny Powers in charge?
Read more at thehill.com.
Mike Pence is saying if you’ve been to New York state lately just start self isolating and quarantining now for two weeks. Time to start calling New York the Petri Dish That Never Sleeps.
Read more at dailymail.co.uk.
Hey, Ireland, put down the drink for a second and listen to Conor. You all can drink your whiskey until blacking out at home.
Read more at tmz.com.
InsideHook takes a look back at when students around the country had to participate in the Presidential Fitness Test. If we were to bring it back today it’d mostly involve sex with questionable Russian women and eating Filet-O-Fish’s.
Read more at insidehook.com
“Well, I’ve been out walking
I don’t do that much talking these days
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do for you
And all the times I had the chance to
And I had a lover
But it’s so hard to risk another of these days
Read more at rollingstone.com.
A Jaws musical? Yes, please. We will eat this up. It’s called “Bruce.” It’s about the filming “Jaws,” and it’s already booked for a showcase at the Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn, New Jersey, from June 9 to July 4, 2021.
Anthony Cumia as the Mayor?
Read more at nypost.com.
Why is America obsessed with the Netflix ‘doc’ Tiger King !? Because
“I am the Tiger King
and I can do anything.”
Read more at buzzfeed.com.
After watching tiger king, all I can think is tigers must be like, “humans are fucking weird”
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) March 23, 2020
That kid learned step one of making an Omelette.