Wednesday April 1: Daily Links

NEWS STORIES

 



Google Is Gonna Take This April Fools Day Off

Google says because of Corona they won’t partake in any April Fools Day hijinks this year out of respect for those battling the disease. They need all their energy focused on people googling “Corona Symptoms”.

Read more at nypost.com.



Wanna Play Candy Crush with Free, Unlimited Lives this Week!?

Just when you thought the world was heading in the wrong direction some sunshine bursts the rough black clouds.

Now can we get free candy?

Read more at theverge.com.



Does Andrew Cuomo Have Nipple Rings!?

The internet thinks Andrew Cuomo has nipple rings. This is just like that time we all thought Rudy Giuliani walked around with a butt plug.

Also, just so you all know, he ain’t running for President.

Read more at papermag.com.



SPORTS



Who Started the Pandemic!? The New England Patriots

Just like every other disaster over the past 20 years, it comes out to the same conclusion. The Pats were behind all of it. Check out the clue in this picture.

The Patriots did it.

Via Twitter.



Adam Schefter Not Happy With The NFL Going Forward With The Draft

Adam Schefter went on ESPN to trash the NFL for going forward with the draft this month. Hard Knocks this season will mostly consist of Zoom meetings.

Read more at nypost.com.



Wimbeldon Is #Canceled

Wimbledon is canceled for the first time since World War 2. Apparently Wimbledon was caught jerking off while on the phone with the US and French Opens.

Read more at espn.com.



ENTERTAINMENT



Beloved Law & Order Character Is Getting a New Show

The character that Christopher Meloni played for years on Law & Order “Elliot Stabler” just got a 13-episode series order for a new Dick Wolf crime drama on NBC. Dick Wolfe can just call up NBC, name some type of city or federal job and get a 13 episode order.

Read more at deadline.com.



Larry David Urges People In California To Stay Home

Larry David cut a PSA asking ‘idiots’ who are still going out to stay home during the COVID-19 pandemic. The Office Of The Governor Of California posted the clip on its Twitter page and it’s already received over 2 million views. If the Governor really wanted to get the point across he should have asked Suzie Essman to do it.



That Time the ‘Tiger King’ Was Pissed He Couldn’t Say N-Word

Joe Exotic has been through some shit but there was a time that his biggest problem was not being allowed to
drop the N Bomb.

Damn It’s good to be a gangster.

Read more at tmz.com.



Let’s Make A Deal Is Crushing Ratings During The Lockdown

Last week Let’s Make A deal scored its highest ratings since coming back 11 years ago. The Price is Right also saw a huge bump all thanks to people self quarantining. Sounds like it’s time for a Remote Control reboot.

Read more at nypost.com.



The Ringer Sez These Are The Least Helpful TV Characters Of The Century

This is going to hurt a lot of untalented writers feelings.

Read more at theringer.com.



Lindsay Lohan Is Back Baby!

Lindsay Lohan is taking a break from being an emperor of Hospitality to share some new music with the world. She’s gonna ward off the virus like St Patrick and the Snakes!

Read more at ew.com.



Jennifer Garner Shares Son’s Corona Virus Poem.

Garner shared her son Samuel Affleck’s poem on her Instagram account to show how he’s dealing with the stay at home order. Ben Affleck is looking to adapt it for his next feature film.

Read more at people.com.



GOING VIRAL



Boss Accidentally Turned Herself Into a Potato During a Meeting.

The awkward part is this was when she had to let some people go.

Via Twitter.



Abby Cadabby Teaches Kids to Self Hug During These Scary Times

“Sometimes it’s a hard world for little things.”

Thank God the Street is still open.

Via YouTube.



Lady Figures Out Hardcore Way To Dissuade Scam Calls

Maybe she should have listened to the guy, time share’s aren’t all that bad.

Via digg.com.



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