Hey, what’s goin’ on man?
It’s your boy Lil Dicky
Aka Mr. Leftward-Sloping Penis
I got a story for y’all, man
Peep this

Read more at tmz.

Toobin’s suspension following an incident where he masturbated on a zoom call. No not a late night one on one with a special friend. It was an election simulation with coworkers.

He claims he did not know his video was on.

Hey it happens to the best of us, right??

Oh wait no, most of us don’t masturbate during a work meeting. Never mind.

Read more at vice.com.

Politico Reports that early in his Presidency Trump paused a top secret briefing to ask “Does anyone want a malt? We have the best malts, you have to try them,” and then inviting a waiter in to take the order.

Was it a $5 shake?

I don’t know it worth risking our national security but it’s pretty fucking good!

Read more at theweek.com.

Worried about how to handle trick or treats during Covid? Reese’s wants to make sure kids get their fill of chocolate and peanut butter so they invented a robot treat delivering door to deliver Peanut Butter Cups to Kids for a Socially Distant Halloween. Will the door come to your neighborhood? Probably not.

Why just use this for Halloween??? Perfect way to start your winter weight gain!

Read more at prnewswire.

The Reese’s Trick-or-Treat Door May Dispense Candy in Your Neighborhood This Halloween! https://t.co/BArD8yjCJL

— Bloody Disgusting (@BDisgusting) October 19, 2020

Ghislaine Maxwell’s testimony of her sexual relationship with Jeffrey Epstein is finally going to be released. It will be published under the name 50 Shades Of Sex Trafficking.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

It’s #InternationalAssDay and it’s trending on Twitter. But you won’t be getting what you think since it’s all Furry pictures. No human asses. Thanks 2020.

Im definitely late for #InternationalAssDay but ill just blame that on monday enjoy the view while you can babe. pic.twitter.com/ugVxwoAmbr

— Skeels (@skeelshusky) October 20, 2020

#InternationalAssDay

GIVE ME MY PROPPAS! pic.twitter.com/s9YoiMKWgh

— TheUnknownCritic (@A_Nonny_Maus) October 20, 2020

Yes NASCAR driver Kyle Larson did drop the N- Bomb back in April and got booted out of NASCAR, but he can come back next year. He spoke about the incident this week for the first time since his suspension. He explained that he heard it from some older boys in school.

OK Kyle you know now.

Read more at tmz.

For the first time, we're hearing from @NASCAR driver Kyle Larson after he was fired in April for using a racial slur during a virtual racing event.

In his first TV interview, he spoke to @JBsportscaster about race in America and why he's hoping for a second chance. pic.twitter.com/zOXoVTU8J8

— CBS This Morning (@CBSThisMorning) October 16, 2020

Joe Buck and Troy Aikman were caught on a hot mic shitting on NFL flyovers of barely filled stadiums. The Jags have been dealing with this issue for years.

Maybe the only time in history a public figure gets "caught" on a hot mic saying something really good. Props to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. https://t.co/JdBSJd1mka

— Charlotte Clymer 🏳️‍🌈 (@cmclymer) October 19, 2020

The NFL has concluded their investigation into the Titan’s Covid outbreak and there may be a fine coming down on the team. Meanwhile the Titans are doing so well every other team in the NFL is looking into getting some Covid for themselves.

Read more at espn.

Are you telling me that a woman who lives in Florida is a bisexual?! What are the odds?

Oh, One in one.

Read more at tmz.

Jeff Bridges announced on Twitter today that he has Lymphoma.

“Although it is a serious disease, I feel fortunate that I have a great team of doctors and the prognosis is good.”

The Dude Abides.

Read more a thehollywoodreporter.com.

As the Dude would say.. New S**T has come to light.

I have been diagnosed with Lymphoma. Although it is a serious disease, I feel fortunate that I have a great team of doctors and the prognosis is good.

I’m starting treatment and will keep you posted on my recovery.

— Jeff Bridges (@TheJeffBridges) October 20, 2020

I’m profoundly grateful for the love and support from my family and friends.

Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. And, while I have you, please remember to go vote. Because we are all in this together. https://t.co/6sAU4MYixl

Love, Jeff

— Jeff Bridges (@TheJeffBridges) October 20, 2020

Rumor Willis recently said that she was not prepared for all the negative feedback she got for a BDSM themed photo shoot she did. All these trolls in the comments are gonna have Bruce to deal with now.

Read more at yahoo.com.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rumer Willis (@rumerwillis)

everything

everything

Yeah and she voted for Biden. How do you like them Dunkies??

Boston will never not Boston as hard as it can and I love it so much. pic.twitter.com/p5qN8HH4pe

— Josh Gee (@jgee) October 19, 2020

Researchers looked at the jokes Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert told about the presidential candidates in September and found that 97% of them were at Trumps expense. The writing room needs to really start hammering whoever the Libertarian candidate is.

Read more at apnews.com.