He lost a bid for Senate, and then lost a run at the President of the United States, but Beto O’Rourke thinks he’s got a good shot in the race for Governor of Texas.

Guess Texas needs an alt hip hop governor.

Read more at Texas Monthly

Joe Biden made a cuck joke this week, saying, “Vice President Harris, my cabinet members, my White House team, Jill, Doug, our first lady and our–our first lady and second husband. No, I’m joking. These guys travel all over the country together. I’m getting worried, you know?”

Joe every time you think of a joke, keep it to yourself.

Read more at Mediaite.

‘They Took on the Wrong Guy This Time’ Steve Bannon said after being indicted by Congress. “We’re going to go on the offense on this, and stand by,” Bannon added, sounding like every movie or comic book villain. “I’m never going to back down. They took on the wrong guy this time, okay?”

“If the administrative state wants to bring me on, bring it. Because we’re here to fight this, and we’re going to go on offense. And you stand by, you see how we’re going to go on offense, okay? Nancy Pelosi, Merrick Garland, Joe Biden — the whole… the whole… all of them.”

So…you DID show up for the subpoena?

Read more at mediaite.

They're messing with the wrong Patriot.

Steve Bannon declares political war on Biden, Pelosi, & the whole Deep State. pic.twitter.com/IuiYwrbcU5

— Sebastian Gorka DrG (@SebGorka) November 16, 2021

The former homeland security, counterterrorism and coronavirus adviser to Vice President Mike Pence says that when she tried to play a little Taylor Swift tune in the White House, a co-worker asked her if she was trying to get fired.

Why? Did he date her?

Read more at Washington Post.

.@chrislhayes: While working in the Trump White House, Olivia Troye was blasting Taylor Swift in her office when a colleague knocked on her door and asked, “Are you trying to get fired?”https://t.co/EL1qMqx2mO

— MSNBC (@MSNBC) November 14, 2021

Andrew Bradshaw, the Mayor of Cambridge, an eastern shore town in Maryland could face up to two years’ incarceration and a $5,000 fine for each count.

Isn’t being mayor of Cambridge md punishment enough?

Read more at CBS Local.

Don’t let the Fox hosts fool you. They will rant about the pussy libs who are scared of Covid, and complain about mandates, but they’re not boycotting or even bitching about their own events that require vaccinations or negative tests. Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham and Dan Bongino will all be at the Fox Nation Patriot Awards this Wednesday in Florida. The email invitation says “Attendees must show either a COVID vaccine card OR proof of a negative COVID test taken 72 hours prior to the event in order to gain entrance.”

And yet no one catches on.

Read more at Business Insider.

The story actually gets worse, because his penis started to rot and he had to be treated for necrosis.

Admit it, you put that snake on your cock.

Via digg.

Newbie Jets coach Robert Saleh responded to criticism from Rex Ryan. “I’ve never met Rex. I’ve never had a conversation with Rex,” said Saleh. “Obviously, if it’s that personal for him, he knows where to find me.”

Yeah you know where to find each other. Dunkin Donuts.

Read more at ESPN.

Ohio State in the top three… Oklahoma dropped down to the twelve spot.

Why do we do this when Alabama wins in the end anyway.

Read more at CBS Sports

everything

A guy who looks like Steve Martin was playing with a dog, and the entire internet thought it was Steve Martin

So I guess it was the Steve Martin lookalike who won the internet?

Via Digg.

A man who looks like Steve Martin, in a garden, tending to this dachshund is exactly what I need this morning. Apparently, this is from a series called, "Dads with dogs they didn't want."❤️pic.twitter.com/mCnjGq04cz

— Amee Vanderpool (@girlsreallyrule) November 15, 2021

The Kiss guitarist posted on his Facebook, “Our prayers go out to all the families who lost loved ones at the concert! Seems like it was a ‘Satanic Ritual’ gone very wrong!” He added that people of every faith and religion “should band together to stop this from ever happening again in America.”

Guess he would know: Knights in Satan Service.

Read more at Insider.

When nobody knows it’s a Goop Cruise. An Insider writer went on a cruise vacation branded after Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop lifestyle brand, but says no other Goopies were on board. Zero. None.

It was a bad weekend for vagina egg fans..

Read more at Insider.

A photo of a security guard went viral as the internet had a good laugh calling him Blade.

No, That’s not Blade, but at least we’ve figured out what Wesley Snipes is doing these days.

This the most securing guard I’ve ever see. pic.twitter.com/BE3lorGabZ

— Detective Drip (@ImKindaFunny901) November 15, 2021

According to Buzzfeed, “Clueless,” “Love Actually,” And “Grease” are relics and their misogyny disqualifies them from moving forward as classics.

Yet somehow you guys are okay with Dirty Harry.

Read more at buzzfeed.

Gen Z has declared blond hair as ‘cheugy’ and untrendy. TikTokkers have noted, that trendsetters are darkening their hair, and the term nexpensive brunette” is now a thing. Sorry Betties, you’re out.

Sweden better lay low for a while.

Read more at NY Post

@thedigifairy

Stitch with @i-D magazine #expensivebrunette#mushroombrownhair #christiangirlautumn#cheugy#bronde #skyferreira#2010s#wolfcut #beabadoobee#skunkhair

♬ 505 – Arctic Monkeys

Opening night for a Christmas Carol was delayed by nearly an hour by a very agitated woman screaming “You ruined my night at the play, Yours is gonna suck!” She also called the night a mockery of Shakespeare, the audience losers, and elicited gasps from the audience when she screamed to someone to get out of her country.

And she ended with bah humbug, and got great reviews.

First play at the Guthrie in over 600 days. Still hasn’t been kicked out. pic.twitter.com/II4d2XJKjs

— Jake (@ekajmw) November 13, 2021

everything