It’s believed that an indictment of Rudy Giuliani is imminent after his lawyer announced that he was told his client is. target in Georgia’s investigation into election interference.

Time to head to the four seasons for a press conference.

Read more at Mediaite.

In a TV interview, Carolyn Maloney said “off the record” that Biden won’t run in 2024.

You said it on tv. That’s literally on the record.

Read more at mediaite.

Adam Neumann has launched a new mysterious real estate company and convinced a VC to invest $350 million in it.

They must not have read the news or watched Hulu or Netflix for the past 5 years.

Read more at the Daily Mail.

Dr. Oz just wanted to go shopping for the ingredients his wife needed for a crudite and blame Biden for how expensive it is. Unfortunately he was making up the prices and no one gives a shit about his wife’s crudite.

Watch the video on Twitter.

Who thought this was a good idea pic.twitter.com/dj5nz7vB1W

— umichvoter 🏳️‍🌈 (@umichvoter) August 15, 2022

Eric Trump said that strangers were fighting over who got to pay for him and his wife’s dinner the other night – as an apology for what his family is going through. And Don Jr’s coke dealer gave him a free gram of molly after he bought a quarter zip of coke.

Watch the clip on Mediaite.

After being upwards of six dollars, gas prices have dropped below four bucks and prices are expected to go under three bucks a gallon.

One thing you can guarantee nobody will thank Joe Biden.

Read more at CNN

A man who owned a company that sold natural gum that could help with weight loss is suing Wayne Gretzky. He claims Gretzky lying about losing 35 pounds after using the product caused him to invest millions in his company, only to later learn Gretzky lied.

Who would believe Gretzky had 35 pounds to lose?

Read more at TMZ

Why does Soldier Field look so shitty?

I blame the lantern fly.

This is not photoshop. This is what the field actually looks like today. pic.twitter.com/NCtRAJxYWK

— Jason Lieser (@JasonLieser) August 13, 2022

Decoldest Crawford, WR for Nebraska, got booked on a commercial for SOS Heating and Cooling thanks to college players now being able to make cash off their own likenesses. This is what the NCAA has been keeping from us for all these years.

Watch the commercial on Twitter.

The Decoldest Crawford air conditioning commercial is here and it's spectacular. pic.twitter.com/V1GgYrJy9x

— Jim Weber (@JimMWeber) August 15, 2022

Half a decade later, the Academy apologized to Sacheen Littlefeather, who appeared at the Oscars in the place of Marlon Brando. “The abuse you endured because of this statement was unwarranted and unjustified,” then-Academy president David Rubin wrote in the organization’s apology letter, dated June 18. “The emotional burden you have lived through and the cost to your own career in our industry are irreparable. For too long the courage you showed has been unacknowledged. For this, we offer both our deepest apologies and our sincere admiration.”

While you’re at it, apologize for all the John Wayne movies.

Read more at THR

Vice’s new doc series “Dark Side of Comedy” examines the troubled lives and deaths of notorious comedians.

Ask Kevin Pollock his doc nailed it years ago.

Read more at The Daily Beast

Social mediaites are concerned that Kim Kardashian’s kid looked scared after crowds clamored to get the family’s attention in recent social posts. They’re worried she’s not getting to have a normal childhood.

Nobody has a normal childhood but at least she gets a billion dollars to cry into.

Read more at buzzfeed.

The Stranger Things star is enrolled and starting classes online at Purdue.

Oh great, I love their chicken.

Read more at CNN

“I’ve been getting asked about Woodstock ’99 a ton recently due to the [Netflix] doc that’s out,” he posted on Instagram alongside pictures from his coverage. “All I can say is I thought I was going to die.”

That would have been the only good thing about W99.

Read more at ultimateclassicrock.

Spiderman star Tom Holland said in an Instagram Video, “I get caught up and I spiral when I read things about me online, and ultimately it’s very detrimental to my mental state. So I decided to take a step back and delete the app.”

We really don’t need the announcement or the explanation.

Read more at NBC News

People on Twitter are horrified by the dump that is Seaworld, loaded with trash and full of slobs.

It’s Florida guys. Not all the manatees are in the water.

Read more at NY Post

From the SeaWorld passholders page, taken in the AP lounge. Why are people such slobs? Like seriously pic.twitter.com/7scQsBiMLV

— Jake Coonfare (@JakeCoonfare) August 8, 2022

This is why we didn’t buy you a steak.

Absolutely brutal 🤦‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/4NoqTPrEA7

— White Sox Talk (@NBCSWhiteSox) August 14, 2022

A new study has found that in rural America, as we’re attempting to tackle the opiod crisis, meth use is on the rise.

You just put up a statue of two meth cookers in Albuquerque

Read more at Study Finds