Tuesday April 7, 2020: Daily Links

APRIL 7


NEWS STORIES

 



Louisiana Cops Use Purge Siren To Let Everyone Know About Curfew

Police in Lousiana blasted a siren to let everyone know it was curfew, many recognized this as the same siren used in The Purge series but cops say they had no idea. Chief Jimmy Broussard said he was not familiar with the movies. He only likes Rom Coms.

Read more at kiro7.com.



Local News Show Runs A Very Important Segment … “What Day Is It?”

By the end of this thing, the segment will be “What Month Is It?”

Via Twitter



Pandas Finally Do it in Quarantine

Why couldn’t the Pandas do the dirty deed? Because they are Pandas. Not porn stars

Read more at buzzfeednews.com.



Kid Sees Problem, Kid Fixes Problems, Helps Doctors and Nurses

A Canadian Boy Scout used a 3D printer to create a new, pain-free ear guard for medical workers who have to wear masks all day. He’s also made the file that he used to make the ear guards public. Sorry Greta, the world’s got a new It Kid!

Read more at boredpanda.com.



Chicago Has A Cat Problem

The cat population is set to explode in Chicago because the shelters that usually spay and neuter strays are closed due to Covid-19. So now the people of Chicago will be going to sleep each night to the beautiful sounds of screeching cats making love.

Read more at tmz.com.





SPORTS



The NFL Is Holding a Virtual Draft

Commissioner Roger Goodell informed all 32 NFL clubs that the 2020 NFL Draft would proceed in a fully virtual format. That means there’s a good chance your team’s owner could make their draft selection from a toilet bowl.

Read more at nfl.com.



Hard Knocks To Feature Both LA Teams This Off Season

The NFL wants the Rams and the Chargers to both be on Hard Knocks this season. At least someone now will be watching Chargers games.

Read more at espn.com.



The Octagon Must Go On! White Getting an Island for UFC Fights?

Dana White says he’s close to securing a private island that he can hold UFC fights on whenever he wants and that he can fly in all his fighters. White denied reports that Tina Turner is in talks to have ‘We Don’t Need Another Hero’ played instead of the National Anthem before each fight.

Read more at tmz.com.



ENTERTAINMENT



Cindy Crawford’s Famous Video Bathtub Scene Had No Water In It.

Cindy Crawford revealed that her famous bathtub scene in George Michael’s ‘Freedom ‘90’ video had no water in it, just her and steam. She also said an apple box was used to make sure she wasn’t sinking in the bath. Both items will be the centerpieces of a rebooted Fashion Cafe.

Read more at pagesix.com.



Roseanne Barr Claims The Corona Virus Is A Scheme To Kill Her Boomers.

Roseanne said that Corona Virus is part of a plan to get rid of boomers and take their money. If we really wanted to get rid of boomers, just lock them in a room a play her version of The Star Spangled Banner on a loop.

Read more at pagesix.com.



Drake Said He Liked Pornstar Jada Fyre on IG Live and Then Roasted Her

Joe Budden was interviewing pornstar Jada Fyre on IG live when Drake came in and said she was one of his all-time favorite porn stars. Budden was reading off Drake’s comments and got tricked into reading Drake saying Fyre looks like “she’s still in G-Unit”. Play your cards right Jada and Drake may get your pregnant and wait a year to acknowledge the kid!

Read more at thesource.com.



Chris Elliott Reading Poetry

Even an atheist would fall to his knees and thank God for Chris Elliot. Now when he reads poetry ,it makes doves cry. #Prince

Via Twitter.



Paul McCartney, Lady Gaga And Billie Eilish To Put On Benefit Concert

Lady Gaga is putting on a concert to combat the coronavirus and it will feature her, Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder, and Billie Eilish. Boomers, Millennial’s and Zoomer’s are all represented here all Gaga has to do is get the Baby Shark people to perform.

Read more at usatoday.com.



Matthew McCoanughey Hosted A Virtual Bingo Game For Senior Citizens

Matthew McConaughey surprised a senior citizen’s home by hosting a bingo game for them. It may have been a bigger surprise for these folks if they had gotten maybe a Dick Van Dyke.

https://twitter.com/i/events/1247277604656369667



GOING VIRAL



Cake Decorating in the Tiger King Era

You have a birthday coming up and you want your friends to see your cool cake on Zoom. Get your ass to Publix. Tiger King this bitch.



No Longer Will You Be Bullied Into Buying Chip Clips

Chip lovers rejoice! Here’s a full proof way to protect your leftover snacks without having to buy those awful, annoying clips. Now you don’t have to worry about having your bag smell like Cool Ranch Doritos all day.

Via digg.com.





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