Thursday November 17: Daily Links

Published by Interrobang Staff at November 17, 2022

THURSDAY 11.17

NEWS STORIES

McConnell Wins Secret Ballot

Mitch McConnell will continue to lead the republican senate after a secret ballot election kept him in the big seat. He defeated challenger Rick Scott who was the first to try to take the spot in 15 years.

It really helps when you have a dossier on everyone in your party.

NJ Newspaper Reviews the Wendys Peppermint Frosty

The holiday frosty review is, not surprisingly, not good.

It tastes like it came out of your grandmothers pocket book.

Sam Bankman-Fried Talks About FTX Collapse

The CEO of FTX is talking despite being under investigation by the DOJ and FTC and being the most hated man in finance since Bernie Madoff. He talked about regulators, regrets, and what he could have done differently.

Save it for your lawyer.

Harvard and Yale Want Out of US News Law School Rankings

The two consistently top rankers don’t care that they are always at the top of the list, they think the criteria used to rank law schools is flawed and they don’t want to be a part of it. Both schools think the rankings don’t give enough consideration to schools that promote public service and addressing income inequality. “Its approach not only fails to advance the legal profession, but stands squarely in the way of progress.”

Uh you guys don’t get to decide how you’re ranked. We could rank law schools based on best ice cream in the cafeteria if we wanted to.

How Much Has Target Lost This Year To Shoplifting!?

Target’s lost $400 million this year already to shoplifting. Hitting a target pays better than a bank these days.

SPORTS

Shaq Says There's More Than One Moon

“Let me tell you my theory,” said Shaq explaining why he thinks there’s more than one moon. “The other day I was riding, passed Auburn as a matter of fact, and the moon was on the left and I keep going straight, making little turns, and about 20 minutes later, the moon was behind me.”

And we all have a theory that Shaq has less than one brain

Mr. Unlimited Is Using Seahawks Codewords To Call Audibles

Russell Wilson is apparently using the wrong playcalls when calling audibles while in Denver. He’s actually yelling out Seahawks plays and confusing his teammates. The joy Russell has given us this season has been…unlimited.

"Russ is losing his mind out there– he's using audibles from the Seahawks. The guys don't know the audibles. He's using codewords that the guys don't know"

–@Tyler_Polumbus on what he's hearing from inside the organization@ScottHastings | @JoshuaDover https://t.co/T2GBAAOdLv

— 92.5 FM – Altitude Sports Radio Denver (@AltitudeSR) November 17, 2022

Stephen A Smith Worries About Getting Canceled

The talk show host says he wakes up every day thinking about whether today is the day he’ll be cancelled

We wake up every day worrying he won’t.

Check Out Queens 25,000 Seat Soccer Stadium

Photos of the new home of the New York City Football Club have been publicly revealed. The stadium will be located in Flushing near City Field.

This is exactly what it will look like on game day.

CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT

Brady, Giselle Steph Curry and Larry David Sued

All the celebrities who endorsed the FTX crypto exchange are defendants in a new lawsuit filed in Florida. Kevin O’Leary and Shaq are also named in the proceeding. Plaintiffs are looking to recover over $11 Billion in lost wealth.

This is like suing Cosby if you found a hair in your Jello pudding.

Elon Musks Response to Fallon's Request for Help is Shit

When RIP Jimmy Fallon was trending this week, the Tonight Show host tweeted Twitter’s new owner, “can you fix this? #ripjimmyfallon”. The sarcastic Mr. Musk replied, “fix what?”

Fix yourself, dude.

Jonah Hill's Psychotherapist Overshares

Hill’s got a new comedy doc profiling his own shrink streaming on Netflix now. The therapist, Phil Stutz, did an interview with Esquire talking about his relationship with Hill.

Why does this come across as a Brian Wilson situation?

Kevin Spacey Has 9 More Sex Charges Coming His Way

With one trial and five charges already on the docket, the Crown Prosecution Service in the UK says they’ve got the green light for 7 more criminal sexual assault charges.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was nobody wanted to have sex with him

Seinfeld Comments on SNL Monologue

Jerry told The Hollywood Reporter, “I did think the comedy was well-executed, but I think the subject matter calls for a conversation that I don’t think I’d want to have in this venue.”

Funniest joke Jerry had in awhile.

Liz Hurley Has a Belly You Can Bounce a Quarter Off

She’s 57 years old and still has better abs than an 18 year old girl.

Selling your soul to the devil can really pay off.

Did Reggie Watts Just Call Chappelle a Hack?

Comedian and Late Show bandleader Reggie Watts tweeted a message for Dave Chappelle. “I hope you consider a different approach to your current social commentary,” he wrote. “It’s feeling joyless and lacking the enlightenment you used to inspire. I understand the idea of crossing the line, but there are many more subversive yet unifying ways to do so.”

Yeah maybe you’re right but at least he doesn’t steal from Ricky Gervais like that guy you play music for.

Denise Richards Trolls Her Troll

After getting shot at during a road rage incident, Denise Richards didn’t want to take shit from a Tweeter who had expressed a wish that the shot had hit her neck instead of her car. She wrote “Thank you. I would never wish any harm on anyone,” she replied. “What I experienced yesterday with my husband, not that you care. Was the most terrifying situation I have ever been in. I’m sorry a shot didn’t graze my neck…a–hole.”

Seems like this is one guy you should try not to get under his skin.

Judge Judy Knows Who Should Play Her in a Biopic

Judge Judy wants Reese Witherspoon to play her in her biopic. The Crypt Keeper puppet is also available if Reese is busy.