Thursday March 25: Daily Links

Published by Interrobang Staff at March 24, 2021

THURSDAY 3.25

NEWS STORIES

Here are Some of the Free Perks You Can Get Once you are Vaxxed

National: Krispy Kreme Free Donut a Day in 2021
National: Chiobani Free Yogurt at Some Vax Sites
Midwest: Up-Down Arcades: Free $5 in tokens
Cleveland: Market Garden Brewery giving 10-cent beers to the first 2021 people who show a Covid-19 vaccine certificate
Cleveland: Cleveland Cinemas is offering a free 44-ounce popcorn through April
Michigan: Greenhouse of Walled Lake offering a free rolled joint till the end of the month.

This pandemic is the best thing that ever happened to us.

Virginia Abolishes Death Penalty

The governor of Virginia signed a bill into law this week abolishing the death penalty.

No death penalty, and no confederate statues? It’s official! Welcome to the north, Virgiania.

Volcano Lava Cookout Anyone?

People in Iceland are using lava flow for cookouts after a recent eruption. Hikers brought in marshmallows and hot dogs to roast.

Oddly this is the only edible food in Iceland.

New York Reaches a Deal to Legalize Weed

Thanks to pandemic debts and legalization in NJ, New York State is finally taking the idea of legal weed seriously. The plan will not require a popular vote, and would allow New York State residents over the age of 21 to buy recreational weed, although it will take some time (about a year and a half) before legal weed can actually be bought and sold.

New York is about to be the the city that sleeps pretty damn soundly.

Did the Cargo Ship Stuck in the Suez Draw a Big Dick?

Before that cargo ship got stuck in the Suez Canal, it seems to have drawn a giant penis with its path through the Red Sea??? Looking at the route it took on Vessel Finder, it’s traveled in the shape of a dick and balls.

Sometimes you learn the hard way that Poseidon doesn’t care for dick jokes.

Ted Cruz Gets in a Mask Fight

Ted Cruz was going face commando, and when a reporter asked him to put on a mask, he incorrectly claimed that the CDC said he shouldn’t have to wear a mask if he’s been vaccinated.

Well, this is he lamest anti-masker Karen video you’ll see today.

SPORTS

Tyson Holyfield is OFF.

Bad news, the Tyson Holyfield fight wasn’t happening. Then good news, it was back on. Bad news, it’s back off again, as the negotiations for the terms of the fight are just too far apart.

This is the worst news of 1997.

NFL Player Makes News for Saving a Woman From Rape

Normally when the NFL and rape are mentioned in a news story, the NFL player is being accused, so it’s a welcome change to see that a Patriots offensive tackle in the news for preventing a rape. Justin Herron received a good samaritan award from the Tempe PD for interceding when a 30 year old suspect was attempting to rape a 71 year old woman over the weekend.

Was the suspect Deshaun Watson?

High School Coach Fired For Anti Semitic Play Calls

A coach in Duxbury Massachusetts is suspended from his teaching job and fired from his coaching position after an investigation found the team used anti-semitic playcalls that were described as “horrifying and disappointing.” The words “Auschwitz,” “rabbi” and “dreidel” were used as audibles, along with other undisclosed terms.

This coach is about 30 mins away from a Julian Edelman beatdown.

Brett Favre: Pain Killer Addiction Nearly Killed Him

Brett Favre released a new episode of his podcast on Tuesday talking about his addiction to painkillers and his struggle to quit. He talks about feeling suicidal after flushing pills down the toilet.

Of all the people opiates killed, you went and missed Brett Favre? #numberfour

Chase Claypool Bar Fight

A rookie receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers was caught in the middle of a bar fight that was caught on video kicking a man who was already on the ground. Although he does not appear to initiate the fight, he still may face suspension for the incident.

If you want to hit people go to NE.

CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT

Orlando Blooms Day is Irritating Everyone

They’re calling Bloom out of touch for sharing the details of his daily routine with a UK publication. It’s pretty zen, woke, progressive, or corny depending on your perspective, but the internet’s perspective is- ya jokin right?

He talks about eye gazing with his daughter, being 90% plant based, and sometimes looking at a cow and thinking its the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He says he spends a lot of time dreaming about roles for himself, minorities and women. And there’s a bunch of chanting and legos in his day too.

No one has earned more with less.

Kim Kardashian Built a Play Town In Her Backyard

A kids playhouse can be anything from an empty cardboard box to more elaborate versions that actually look like tiny houses. But Kim Kardashian pushed the artform to lifestyles of the rich and famous proportions with a full tiny town The mini “Hidden Hills” includes a Starbucks (natch), a diner, a firehouse with a firetruck, flowershop, grocery store, and a KKW Beauty store.

How Michael Jackson of you.

National Treasure Gets a TV Series Coming to Disney+

Well, naturally, a movie that good needs hours and hours of additional content.

Does Meghan McCain’s Hairstylist at The View Hate Her??

The internet has turned their attention to Meghans most questionable hairstyles that she wore on the View. She’s probably just relieved that for once no ones talking about the questionable things she’s said on the View.

VIRAL VIRAL

Airplane Brawl of the Day

Today’s airplane fight started over which of two women would deplane first. It turned ugly

Airplanes are the new cattle car.

STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS

Can Cat Scratches Cause Schizophrenia

Evidence shows that a bacteria found in cats causes mental illness. The study has shown some link between people with diagnosed schizophrenia and the Bartonella bacteria.

Cat scratch fever, got it from the pussy next door. #tednugent