Thursday August 3: Daily Links
THURSDAY 9.3
NEWS STORIES
Jeff Bezos Ex MacKenzie Scott World's Richest Woman
That McKenzie Scoot is an attractive woman and she also has a lil money tucked away. Sixty billion .
Anyone got her number? Jeff?
Chet Hanks Wants Adele To Slip Into His DMs
Chet was out to woo Adele and what better way than talking a little patois and it’s not like she doesn’t have enough problems.
We're In The Middle Of A Glory Hole Renaissance
The Glory Hole is seeing a big resurgence in the gay community, with websites popping up where you can schedule a session in one. The straight community is still a little hesitant though, weird.
Alan Patridge Joins Linkedln
To coincide with the release of his new podcast, Alan Patridge has joined Linkedln to share his ‘pearls of wisdom’. He’ll also read passages from How To Lose Friends And Alienate People.
Sarah Sanders Was Urged To Take One For The Team
Sarah Sanders said that the President told her to ‘take one for the team’ after Kim Jong Un appeared to wink at her. Kellyanne Conway would’ve jumped at the chance.
Former Astronaut: It’s Scarier To Stopped By Cops Than Going Into Space
Former astronaut Leland Melvin said that it’s a lot scarier to be pulled over by the cops than it is to go into space. Sucked into a black hole or having a gun in your face? Easy choice!
Former Astronaut: It’s Scarier To Stopped By Cops Than Going Into Space
Former astronaut Leland Melvin said that it’s a lot scarier to be pulled over by the cops than it is to go into space. Sucked into a black hole or having a gun in your face? Easy choice!
SPORTS
Subway Debuts New Bill Belicheck Commercial
This is a perfect match since Belicheck’s cutoff sweater shirts look like they smell like a Cold
Cut Combo.
Facebook's Banning All Political Ads A Week Before The Election
Facebook announced it’s going to ban all political ads from their platform in the week leading up to the election. They also said they’re going to flag any posts claiming victory too early. How about they just ban anyone from posting anything starting now?
The UWS Of NYC Is Getting Sexy
A woman was pictured peeing then performing oral sex on a man in the middle of the street on the Upper West Side of Manhattan this week. I guess we should blame Di Blasio for this though the dude getting blown doesn’t seem to mind.
Is oral sex the compassion needed? Quality of life no longer exists on the UWS. Would you want children to see this on Bway btw 78-79 as you walk around @HelenRosenthal? Taken 8/30 9pm @nypost @NY1 @errollouis @NBCNewYork @glorioso4ny @CBSNewYork @ABC7NY @billritter7 @NYPD20Pct pic.twitter.com/Ihwts2oLBG
— Save the Upper West Side (@savetheuws) September 2, 2020
ENTERTAINMENT
John Boyega’s Still Pissed at Disney and Star Wars
What I would say to Disney is do not bring out a black character, market them to be much more important in the franchise than they are and then have them pushed to the side,” Boyega told GQ. “It’s not good. I’ll say it straight up.”
Yeah nut what about Black Panther?
Al Green Tweets Out Altered Walgreens Sign
You’ll never not think of the Reverend Al when you’re on your way Walgreens again. And your probably never not burst in to Let’s Stay Together. But honestly, that’s a pretty good curse to have.
who did this? 😂 pic.twitter.com/TzJZdbq0Xc
— Al Green (@algreen) September 2, 2020
The Rock And His Entire Family Tested Positive For The Coronavirus
The Rock went to social media to announce he, his wife, and his children all have tested positive for the Coronavirus and to ask people to please wear masks. Kevin Hart better get a Covid test ASAP.
David Arquette: I Thought I Was Dying During A Wrestling Match
David Arquette said that during a match in 2018, he suffered a cut so bad that he thought he was dying. Then he realized that the only thing that was dying was his acting career.
GOING VIRAL
Nebraska Man Takes A Stand Against Boneless Chicken Wings
Finally, a lone voice in the night says what we’ve all been thinking. Brave.
🐔 Ander Christensen, a Nebraska resident, made a passionate plea to the Lincoln City Council to rename boneless chicken wings because they are not in fact wings from a chicken. WATCH –>> https://t.co/p9GWTgMiDO pic.twitter.com/PJbCUMQqSx
— NBC10 Philadelphia (@NBCPhiladelphia) September 2, 2020
STUDIES, SURVEYS AND RANKINGS
Variety Ranks Succession’s Roy Family Worst to Best
10 members of the Roy family get ranked, Variety style. Connor shows up dead last (they call him a sniveling Libertarian), and it’s the families funniest that takes the top spot.
Ranking the Roys is a lot like trying to choose which of history’s evil dictators you would most like to rent an air bnb with over the holiday weekend… (probably Stalin).
Study Says Parents Are Hitting the Bottle to cope with Stress over the Pandemic.
If you’re not a parent, you’re probably thinking, ‘hey I’m stressed during all this too, why can’t I have a little drink to unwind myself???’
And if you’re a parent, you’re probably too drunk to read this.
Sleep Scientists Are Done With Daylight Savings Time We Should All Be Too
The American Academy Of Sleep Science is calling for the end of daylight savings time citing that it increases health problems and causes an increase in car accidents. It’s also really confusing and a pain in the ass and doesn’t make sense. Don’t forget those reasons too, eggheads.
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