Visiting DC? Make sure you pick up a Coronavirus Commemorative Coin to remember all the shit that you will never ever forget?
Buy one and get a AIDS Commemorative Coin for free.
Read more at tmz.com.
While we’re glad Philadelphia is wearing gloves and using masks and bleach wipes, the city and Mayor Kenney has asked please stop flushing them down the damn toilet.
Can we possibly try using the Eagles victory pole grease to lube up the plumbing?
Read more at 6abc.
Great news for Georgia Teens : the roads are all yours!
As for everyone else: may the odds be ever in your favor.
Read more at complex.com.
Even when the stay at home orders are lifted there’s no way things are going back to the way they were. Here’s a list of 13 things that may change in your work life.
Is one of them no more pants??
Read more at cnbc.com.
A University of Miami professor was fired after a tiktok by one of his students showed a bookmarked porn search that was visible when he shared his screen with this class during a zoom.
The search? “Busty college girls” of course.
A college professor horny for students? At least he’s on brand.
Read more at nypost.com.
Derek Jeter’s Hall of Fame induction this summer is officially canceled because of this whole thing that’s going on.
“Hopefully they keep him out” said everyone in Boston.
Read more at nydailynews.com.
Jesus Doc, can we at least have some time to pretend there is a reason to think there is a reason to watch ESPN?
Back to watching fat kids eating donuts on Zoom
Read more at yahoo.com.
Fran Drescher said that if the networks and sponsors had their way, her character of Fran Fine would’ve been Italian, not Jewish. Drescher said she was taken aback at first, but was ready to make the change, but her then-husband and producer, convinced her to fight for it. Later, Drescher learned that the name they wanted to use was Fran Soprano.
Read more at pagesix.com.
In a new Instagram post, Britney Spears said 6 months ago, because of two misplaced candles, ‘one thing led to another’ and her gym burned down. No one was hurt, and her reps are already downplaying the incident, saying that while there was damage, it wasn’t as bad as she led on. They did deny reports that her next single is going to be a cover of ‘Light My Fire’.
Read more at tmz.
View this post on Instagram
but yes …. I burnt it down 🙈. I walked past the door to the gym and flames 🔥🔥🔥🔥 BOOM !!!!!! By the Grace of God the alarm 🚨 went off after that and yippy hoorah nobody got hurt 🙏🏼. Unfortunately now I have only two pieces of equipment left lol and a one-sided mirror gym 🙄🙄🙄 !!!!! But it could be much worse so I’m grateful. Pssss I like working out better outside anyways 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸 !!!!
A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on
For his ‘Dave’s True Stories’ Instagram post, Dave Grohl recalls the time he had an email exchange with David Bowie that ended with Bowie saying ‘Well, that’s settled. Now f*ck off’. A shocked Grohl was hoping that he was getting punked by Courtney Love.
Read more at billboard.com.
Does this make it seem like it’s less impressive to be John Mulaney ?
Or was it ever?
— Gianmarco Soresi (@GianmarcoSoresi) April 29, 2020
Cellist Samara Ginsberg performs the classic 80s cartoon theme with eight cellos. Next up for Ginsberg: The theme from The Simpsons.