The New and Improved, Did You Hear? With Kashmere! September 30

Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.

 

Help, it’s Fall and I can’t get up. Mainly because I’ve tried to whip myself into a shape (any shape) after my Hot Girl Summer only included hot dips and chips. This means that i’ve basically been alternating between doing hot yoga and crying and drinking red wine (cause hi, it is fall after all). In between throwing out ripped workout leggings and waiting for bagels mid-hangover, I of course have been keeping myself up to date with EVERYTHING and anything someone with over 100K followers on Instagram has been doing. Let’s begin. 

You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:

This weeks drink is different cause it’s to honor one of my favorite lady’s ALBUM RELEASE! Casey Balsham, one of my cohosts on Not Another True Crime Podcast, is releasing her comedy album ‘Son of A Barb’ on October 10th!

Pre-order it here and get ready for her to come on and dish with me this week on my weekly appearance on Bennington on SiriusXM (Wednesdays at 3pm!). In the meantime, have a Case-tini. It’s basically a Martini, but with the receipt of Casey’s album pre-order and maybe a few extra olives. Oh, and you finish it off with a cup of Bailey’s — something that she legit orders while out from time-to-time.  

Shocked to Not

Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week. 

Let’s rank the most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week. 

    1. Adam Levine’s Hair Is Ruining Our Lives (And His) | Adam Levine has made a lot of choices that I don’t agree with lately. From The Voice to still trying to maintain his relevancy after Songs About Jane, Adam has done a lot that made me go… Adam? Cut to his latest fashion faux-pas, which was getting cornrows. And not just cornrows,  but MOHAWK CORNROWS THAT LOOK LIKE PURE TRASH. Take a look for yourself. 
    2. Cardi B Goes Incognito for Paris Fashion Week | This is truly a walk of shame DREAM look. There’s only a few people who can be recognized despite being completely disguised… mainly Cardi B and also me when I enter the sampling section of Costco with a different outfit five minutes later trying to get some more guac. Check her look here
    3. Felicity Huffman’s Daughter Is Back to Test Taking | Is there anything worse than taking the SATs? Apparently, and it’s having your mom go to jail for two weeks after making someone take the SATs for you and then being forced to retake them. I hope she just picks ABBA for every single one and just blasts “Dancing Queen” on loop. Meanwhile, Lori Loughlin and her Target Man’s fate are still TBD. Learn more here
    4. Aaron Carter Comes Face-to-Face With His Face | Aaron Carter has been going through a very Britney Spears period right now and it’s not looking that great. Poor guy. In the midst of all of this family and personal drama, he went ahead and got a full face tattoo on himself. Check it out. Yikes. 
    5. Britney Spears Wants People to Not Forget Her | Speaking of Britney Spears, Britney took to Instagram to remind everyone what she’s really famous for: box dyed hair. JK, she meant her SiNgInG AND DaNcInG which tbh I would spend $1200 to see any day of the week. Check out her plea about her’ indefinite hiatus’ here and also, stream Glory. She needs it. 

 

 

The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List

I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again: if you’re married to two VERY successful celebrities: don’t take the SATs, don’t apply to college, JUST BE A DJ. COME ON. Ibiza will pay you more than any marketing internship will to just plug your phone into an aux cord. 

Blast From the PAST:

In honor of the Super Bowl announcement, let’s have a moment of silence for one of the most sexist moments in pop culture: The Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake Super Bowl Performance. While Justin skyrocketed to fame despite being Bleh At Best, true talent Janet was blacklisted from almost every radio station (and MTV) because of her tit slip. At least she could say she’s the reason YouTube exists. 

Stream or Scream?

Jennier Lopez and Shakira were announced as the co-headliners of the 2020 Super Bowl. I’m kind of shocked that everyone is just, cool with the NFL now, but I’m not gonna lie: a bitch CANNOT wait to watch my hips not lie during half time.

 

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Dan Murphy is a freelance writer in Buffalo. Pre-order his new book documenting the rise of women’s wrestling from sideshow to WWE main event on Amazon.com, "Sisterhood of the Squared Circle: The History and Rise of Women’s Wrestling"
Dan Murphy
Dan Murphy
Dan Murphy is a freelance writer in Buffalo. Pre-order his new book documenting the rise of women’s wrestling from sideshow to WWE main event on Amazon.com, "Sisterhood of the Squared Circle: The History and Rise of Women’s Wrestling"