Plenty of sites give you the top ten news stories of the year, but we take a different angle.  We search for the stories that comics tweeted about, the topical material that stand ups talked about on stage, and the material that made it to late nite monologues and Weekend Updates. These stories became fodder for jokes, parody videos, sketches, and one liners. They dominated social media for days, and inspired memes and Halloween costumes.

In 2014 we looked back at the Fappening, Donald Sterling, and Rob Ford. In 2015, we obsessed on a liar (Brian Williams), a slaughtered animal (Cecil), and the Kardashians (Cait and Khloe). In 2016 it was more of the same, but this time a different liar (Lochte), a different slaughtered beast (Harambe), and a different Kardashian and her husband (Kimye). In 2017, Trump dominated the news but it was also the year of April the Giraffe, the Bro Romper and Tiki Torches.  In 2018, nothing was bigger than the Hawaiian false nuclear alarm, Jussie Smollet was the #1 story that became fodder for jokes, but we also talked endlessly about Theranos, bagel boss and Jeffrey Epstein. In 2020, well lets face it, Rudy Giuliani owned 2020. And last year, nothing generated more stand up jokes, weekend update jokes, monologue jokes or social media jokes than January 6th,  but we also talked about the Cuomos, a White Boy Summer, Squid Games and freeing Britney.

This year, the biggest stories of the year went on for months. Let’s see how many you remember….

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Theranos Founder Guilty

In January, arguably the biggest story that became the butt of jokes, was Theranos Founder Elizabeth Holmes being found Guilty of Fraud by a Jury.  But we’ve been talking about Theranos for years, and some of the comedy well had already run dry.

NY Times Buys Wordle

Wordle was a worldwide sensation, and social media feeds filled up with gloating wordsmiths, until the creator sold his sensation to the New York Times and ruined everything. And people were obsessed. And now, does anyone remember wordle?

The Staten Island Comedy Ferry?

And in comedy specific news that had us all talking, Pete Davidson Colin Jost and The Stand announced they bought the Staten Island Ferry to convert it into a floating Comedy Club.

Ukraine Invaded

Alright, its not necessarily the funniest story but it was the biggest story and yes, ripples from Russia’s invasion of Ukraine did make its way into the comedy world, whether writing about Putin or his keystone cop army, or making points about Zelensky’s almost immediate rockstar appeal in the press, the Ukraine invasion has been a topic talked about on stages and screens everywhere.

Trump Clogged White House Toilets

Remember back in 2019 when The Don was so upset about American toilets and how they don’t flush well enough?  One of his all time top crazy statements, was that in the US you have to flush 10 or 15 times blaming water restrictions for the problem.  It made no sense at the time but this year in February, we pieced together that the reason he can’t get a good flush is because he likes to use toilets as a paper shredder.  The big story of February that created a ton of topical jokes, was that Maggie Haberman revealed that White House staff reported finding toilets stuffed up with documents during Trump’s time in the White House.  Then in August, we were treated to photos of the alleged flushed papers.  You can’t make this stuff up.

Facebook Becomes Meta

The joke that keeps on giving, in February this year, Mark Zuckerberg announced that he was changing the name of Facebook to Meta. His plan was to rebrand the company in accordance his plan to fully embrace and try to own what he called the Metaverse.  Unfortunately for Mark and for Facebook, the company has been in a nosedive ever since, and the memes, jokes and trolling continued throughout 2022.

The Slap

Is there a bigger story in comedy than The Slap?  It’s crazy enough that Will Smith stunned us all by marching on stage during the Academy Awards and slapped Chris Rock across the face.  But to add icing to the cake, Smith also bellowed Take My Wife’s Name Out of Your Mouth over and over.  But wait, there’s also a cherry on top of this one- Chris Rock’s reply? I’m going to.

Brady Unretires

Tom Brady retiring from football in February would have been the biggest sports news of the offseason, but then in March he announced that he was un-retiring shocking all of us, and probably his family too.  Of course his unretirement also brought the rumors of his marriage falling part, and by the time he was playing again, his marriage was basically over. But at least he’s having a great season, right?  Right?  No?

Herschel Walker Takes His Crazy Tour Up a Notch

Every election year, there’s some crazy bastard running for office who doesn’t know shit about the government, and this year’s gem was Herschel Walker. He brought us bat shit statements throughout the year, But it was in March that Walker made his first comment crazy enough to go viral, when he explained why evolution isn’t real. “At one time science said, man came from apes. Did it not?” Walker said at Sugar Hill Church in Georgia. “If that is true, why are there still apes? Think about it.”  He would later explain why we we shouldn’t be worried about cleaning up our air- because our good air will go to China and India and their bad air will just come back to us.  He claimed he was an FBI agent.  He described women’s issues as “grocery prices.” Said Vampires are cool people.  And thought we can fix school shootings with “a department that can look at young men that’s looking at women that’s looking at social media.”  Ok Herschel.

Kanye Cracks

Don’t know what was in the water in March, but in addition to it being the month that we learned how crazy walker is, it’s also the month that Kanye West’s crazy took a sharp turn upward.  His “concerning online behavior” got his performance at the Grammys canceled, and he started feuding with Trevor Noah, posted a music video that showed him kidnapping and burying Pete Davidson, and West got suspended from Instagram over bullying.  Of course there have been incidents of disturbing behavior before March, and things ramped up considerably since with Ye’s antisemitism costing him all his endorsements in the fall, but March seems to mark a loggerhead for Ye’s mental health decline.

Depp Heard

The Johnny Depp Amber Heard Trial dominated headlines and memes and monologues and stand up in April, with people on social media racing to write jokes about all the bizarre moments. Allegations of fingers being severed, beds being shit in, crazy texts, a six figure wine bill, outbursts, peacocking and a bizarre resurgence of Depp’s popularity kept every glued to the headlines to see what would happen next.

Bennifer 2.0

You may say you don’t care, but someone does because when Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez started to rekindle their old romance in April, you couldn’t click on a news or entertainment website without being bombarded with every detail of the reconciliation. This continued on through their wedding just a few short months later, and we’re still apparently interested because if these two hold hands in public it makes the news.

Chappelle Attacked

Did anyone have “Armie Hammer is a Cannibal” on their 2021 Bingo Card? No?  No one? Odd. What a shock it was to find out that a movie star who everyone liked was kind of into eating people or at least fantasizing about it, and talking about it a lot.  The second this news started to come out, comedy writers scurred to their laptops to get to work writing, because something like this doesn’t come around too often.

Uvalde Police Are The Biggest Joke of the Year

Even the saddest and most dreadful stories of the year ultimately lead to talk, and not all jokes are lighthearted. Some material points fingers and calls out injustice, and the incredulous failure of the Uvalde officers to protect the children or even try made it into all forms of comedy from memes to monologues.  An utter disaster, that just isn’t funny.

Honorable Mention for the Peach Trees

Marjorie Taylor Green Says Peach Tree Dish. Okay this was only a giant story for a minute, but it was so funny all by itself, that nobody even needed to write the jokes.  And yet the memes kept coming .You see, she’s in congress and doesn’t know the difference between a peach tree and a petri dish.  Here’s what she said. “They want to know when you are eating, they want to know if you are eating a cheeseburger which is very bad because Bill Gates wants you to eat his fake meat that grows in a peach tree dish.” Earlier, in February she also made reference to Pelosi’s “gazpacho” police which we assume was meant to be Gestapo. And then there were also wonton killings instead of wanton. It’s obvious that this woman is starving all the time.  Can we start a gofund me to get her something to eat?

Roe v Wade Overturn Leaked

In June, someone leaked the decision the Supreme Court was writing to overturn Roe vs Wade. Like the Ukraine invasion, and the Uvalde massacres, there’s nothing funny about this news event.  But that doesn’t mean that comedy writers everywhere didn’t use their talents to take shots at those responsible.  Not only one of the biggest stories of the year, its one of the biggest stories of our lifetime.

Joe Biden Fell Off His Bike

Much like MTG’s petri dish, this story really doesn’t need any writers to be funny. Its fucking hilarious. And insane. The idea of any President out for a bike ride is pretty ridiculous sounding, but crazy Joe Biden being the rider makes it even nuttier.  There wasn’t a comedy writer on the planet who wasn’t finding a hot take on this one.

Rudy Assaulted?

If Rudy Giuliani hadn’t already done fifty insane things over the last few years, this story would have been much bigger, because it was absolutely hilarious. He was out campaigning for something or other in a Staten Island Shop Rite supermarket when someone slapped him on the back and yelled at him over the Roe v Wade decision.  He later told Curtis Sliwa  that it felt like somebody shot him, adding, “Luckily, I’m a 78-year-old who is in pretty good shape. Elsewhere he said it was like boulder hit him.  Then surveillance video of the incident was released and that was bad news for Rudy who barely even reacted after the man tapped him on the back, as if trying to get Rudy’s attention.   Classic Rudy.

Vince McMahon Scandal

One of the biggest stories of July involved then WWE CEO Vince McMahon. The news came out in April that there was an investigation into an alleged $3 million hush-money settlement connected to sexual misconduct allegations, and it was believed that the McMahon used company funds to make the payments.  It was later alleged that the 3 mill was just the tip of this particular iceberg and that as much as $12 million in company funds may have been used to silence multiple women alleging various sexual misconduct claims . And then in July, McMahon stepped down from the company he built.  And it was a shoot.

Sesame Place is Not a Nice Place

In July the story of a little girl who was snubbed by a muppet at Sesame Place captured the hearts and empathy of the world.  In a video taken by the girl’s family, you can see a Rosita character waving to the crowd, shaking hands and giving hugs.  But when she passed by this particular girl, she not only snubbed her, but signaled no.  The girl was broken hearted, and her family blamed racism for the snubbing, because the video shows the muppet approaching all the other kids, who were white.  Excuses were made about eyelines and such, but then other families started to come forward alleging similar treatment.  Racism at Sesame Place? How could that be? Sesame taught generations about inclusion even before there was a movement.

RIP Choco Taco

It’s hard to believe there would be a huge uproar over the decision to retire an ice cream snack that was selling to poorly to keep making it, but when Klondike made the announcement that they would stop manufacturing the ice cream sandwich, a generation mourned, and thats about as funny as a story about ice cream can get.

FBI Raids Mar-A-Lago

The biggest story of August is still one of the biggest stories of December, and that’s the FBI’s decision to raid the residence and country club of the former President and leave with boxes and boxes of documents.  The jokes flew fast and furious, and Trump helped write the jokes with statements that he believed he could declassify documents just by thinking it. Where the documents were stored, how they were found, speculation about the leak were all fodder for joke writing and meme making, and so was the fact that the Don was storing some magazines and other crappola along with the classified materials. Did you check the toilets?

Aaron Rodgers and Ayahuasa

Aaron Rodgers has proven to be almost as fun as Rudy Giuliani this year, and if he was having a good season, nobody would care. But as he’s gotten nuttier and nuttier in his personal life, he’s also falling apart on the field, and that puts everything on the table for mockery. In August, Rodgers revealed that his back to back MVP seasons were made possible by the magic of Ayahuasca. It’s pretty unusual for athletes – particularly those still playing- to admit to drug use, but apparently there’s nothing in the rules that says he can’t trip balls. He said the drug made him love himself, and that in turn helped him to perform at an all star level. If that’s true, he must really hate himself now.  One ticket to Macchu Picchu please.

Dr. Oz Goes to Weggers

Mehmet Oz had a few blunders during his campaign to be a US Senator in Pennsylvania, but the best one had to be his attempt to seem like a regular guy by talking about shopping at Wegmans.  In a press moment that you just can’t make up, he talked about how expensive it is to buy crudite at “Weggers” thinking the average Western Pennsylvanian can relate to that.  Cause all yinz in Pittsburgh are buying crudite for the big game. He never really recovered.

The Queen is Dead, Here Comes the King

Queen Elizabeth passed away at the age of 96 after a seventy plus year reign, it was HUGE news, but it wasn’t really funny, or lead to an enormous amount of comedy.  But her son Charles and the rest of the family madness more than compensated.  Charles and his favorite tampon are now the reigning monarchs, and Charles is hilarious whether he’s yelling at his staff, getting furious at an arrangement of desk accessories, faking being busy for photo ops, or just doing a terrible job of keeping things chill in his family, there will never be a shortage of royal comedy.

Tua Brings Back Concussion Protocol Debate

We all thought we had really strict concussion protocols in place in the NFL, but back in September as the season opened, America watched in horror as Tua Tagovailoa took a beast of a hit on the field in week three, and quickly came back to the game claiming he only had a back injury. After massive public outcry, the Players Association launched an investigation into whether the Dolphins properly followed the protocol. Meanwhile the Fins started Tua again on Week Four and when he displayed some pretty clear signs of a concussion during the game, that investigation ramped up significantly, pulling Tua until week 7

Three Words: Adult Happy Meals

There’s not really much to say about this. McDonalds decided to release a limited number of Adult Happy Meals featuring vintage toys, and grown up sized meals. They sold out ridiculously fast. In fact they were so popular that McDonalds franchises had to beg people to stop clogging the drive thru lines hoping to get the long sold out AHMs.  Come on people. Grow up.

Elon Musk Buys Twitter

Elon Musk and Twitter were the talk of the internet all year, from when he first suggested he would buy the platform in April, initially through hostile takeover, to his months of trying to back out of the deal, and complaining endlessly about bots, to a legal case after Twitter insisted that he follow through on his agreement to purchase the platform.  Now…when a company is suing you to buy them, this is a red flag about the state of the company.  But in October Elon finally bought the damn thing and now we can’t go a day without hearing some new nutty bee up Elon’s ass about it.

Brady Break Up

Tom Brady and his stunning baby momma and former wife Giselle Budchen dissolved their union  this year after months of rumors, and evidence that the two were no longer happy together.  It was shocking even to those who knew it was coming because , well, you know, they’re the model family, right?

Weinstein’s Cock and Balls

The Los Angeles edition of Victims versus Weinstein was in full force in October, and we had to endure gruesome details, horrendous defense tactics, and worst of all, we got more details about Harvey’s awful cock and balls than we ever wanted to know about.  In October we learned from a witness that it looked like his penis had been chopped off and sewed back on.  “I didn’t really see a full sack, I literally just saw a penis,”  Jane Doe 2 said.  We also learned that an infection required that doctors take his testicles from his scrotum and put into his inner thighs.  We don’t want to shame you for your medical troubles Harvey, but jesus christ. Why would you want to share that with women who didn’t want to be with you?

FTX and the Bankman

Sam Bankman Fried went from being a nobody, to someone who was known in the crypto world after starting crypto exchange FTX and becoming a billionaire.  And then he became the most famous person on the planet in November, after his exchange went bankrupt and it was quickly discovered that his ten billion dollar net worth was bullshit, and he was stealing from his own customers. Bankman Fried was arrested in the Bahamas, and will be extradited back to the US to stand trial for committing the largest financial fraud in history. Aww Sam, you just missed being the most popular Halloween costume of 2022.

Trump Has a Dinner Party

Trump’s had a bit of a slide in support from the media and the GOP this year, but there was one event that took this slide from a trickle to a goddamn avalanche of bad press even from conservative news.  The kicker, it seems, was Trump inviting Kanye West, and neo-Nazi Nick Fuentes over to Mar-a-Lago for dinner, and timing right as Kanye was being cancelled, everywhere for his antisemitic actions and statements.  Whether they’re really outraged or just see this as the right opportunity to finally rid their party of this weird dude, we don’t know. But the shit is piling up at the door, and that door is Mar-a-Lago.

Taylor Swift Breaks Ticketmaster

Everyone already knows that Taylor Swift can sell anything. Tickets, albums, a movie. If she’s putting it out, the world wants it. And we got the best demonstration of that imaginable when she almost broke Ticketmasters in October.  Others have actually tried to take down TM unsuccessfully, and Taylor nearly did it just by offering tickets for sale. The short “for dummies” version of this story (no offense) is that Ticketmaster was unprepared for, and overloaded by the massive freight train of Taylor Swift fans who tried to get tickets in the presale. There were checkout fails, insane waits, and moms everywhere freaking out trying to score the ultimate Christmas gift for their kids. It was BRUTAL.  The high demand led to Ticketmaster announcing they were pulling the General Sale entirely due to “low ticket inventory” among other things.  Now Swifties are mad, and they’re suing alleging fraud, price-fixing and antitrust violations. Grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Brittney Griner Free

In 2021 FREE BRITNEY meant one thing, in 2022 it was free BRITTNEY and now both Brits are finally free. In February Griner was arrested while in Russia to play basketball, accused of drug smuggling because she had a vape pen containing hash oil that is legal in Arizona where medical marijuana is legal and the oil was legally obtained.  Of course its not legal in Russia but its also not smuggling. She was detained, tried, found guilty and spent most of 2022 in Russian prison with her family, her partner, and half the world it seemed, advocated for her  release. On December 8, Brittney Griner was released via a prisoner exchange, and returned back to the US with her family and loved ones. Next year, we need to keep an eye on Britney GnB.

Messi Messi Messi

For decades now fans of Leonel Messi say he’s the GOAT and sports commentators say, not so fast- if you want to be the GOAT in futbol/soccer, you gotta bring home a World Cup title. And although Messi has been the undisputed best player in league soccer, he had yet to bring home the goods for his home country of Argentina.  To make things more tense, Messi announced this World Cup would likely be his last. He’s 35 years old now, and when the next cup rolls around he’ll be knocking on forty’s door.  But now the debate is over, Messi won his first Cup in the biggest celebration the world has seen since the end of World War II. Argentina can add Messi to their worship of The People’s Champion, Diego Maradona, who just passed away two years ago.  Long Live King Messi!

TGIF: What’s In Yo Sticks?

It isn’t mozzarella.  A woman is suing TGI Friday restaurants and whoever makes their frozen foods, because they sell something they’re calling Mozzarella Sticks but there isn’t any mozzarella to be found in the ingredients.  The sticks actually use cheddar- cause it’s cheaper.  This is an outrage.  Next you’ll be telling us their Buffalo Wings have no real buffalo in them.  Ridiculous.

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