It only took hours for the newly reopened Greenfield Central Junior High School in Indiana to re-shut down after opening for classes. On Day 1, the health department was advised that a student who was walking the halls and sitting in class had tested positive for Covid-19.

Gotta get those kids back to school and sacrifice themselves for the greatest country in the world (according to us, but no one else)

Read more at nytimes.com.

LA social media influencers keep throwing big, non socially distanced parties in their hype houses and mansions. This can lead to an all new YouTube Genre – Covid Unboxings.

Read more at dazedigital.com.

warning: a lot of influencers have been confirmed to me testing positive for COVID-19 after the influencer parties, like a LOT. And they aren’t saying anything & aren’t warning people they came in contact with after.

If you attended, get tested. yall caused an outbreak. thanks!

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) July 28, 2020

@NikitaDragun saying she and her friends can party because they tested ‘negative’ 😍😍😍😍 WHITE PRIVILEGED. pic.twitter.com/4uhk8TxC0C

— violet_xoxo (@alissaviolet_32) July 25, 2020

QAnon followers went to CNN in Hollywood to protest and raise awareness that they believe the entertainment industry is a giant sex trafficking ring. This should be taken as seriously as Lets See Dem Aliens.

https://www.humorousmathematics.com/post/qanon-protestors-invade-cnn-in-hollywood-over-elite-pedophilia-child-trafficking-exposure

The two astronauts SpaceX sent to the ISS have been safely returned to Earth after landing in the ocean. Elon will definitely get Amber Heard back now.

https://twitter.com/i/events/1289923156904296449

When Trump gets the Republican nomination later this month, there will be no media on hand. They’ve been banned to reduce the amount of people in the room because of covid. If only they’d ban cell phones and any use of Twitter too.

Read more at the-sun.

So this guy loses his cock to a blood infection, Then doctors grow him a new penis. On his arm.

“Big deal , I have a penis on my arm every time we go out to dinner” said Jessica Biel.

Read more at nypost.com.

Man who lost penis to blood infection has new one built on his arm https://t.co/UVGz8DJfq8 pic.twitter.com/sobeLt0aZg

— New York Post (@nypost) July 31, 2020

No idea if this video is real but…assess at your own risk.

Over 175 Rhode Island residents received tax refund checks that had been signed by ‘Mickey Mouse’ and ‘Walt Disney’. The state’s Division Of Taxation said that the signatures were only supposed to be on dummy checks for testing purposes, but the test-image files were accidentally assigned to real checks. Red-faced officials said that the residents should be receiving their checks within a week. They also denied a report that each check will be hand delivered by Goofy.

Read more at people.com.

A Magic City dancer contradicted NBA star Lou Williams’ claim that he was ‘in and out’ of a Orlando strip club outside of the NBA bubble. The dancer who goes by the name ‘Aries’, backed Williams claim that he was there to pick up some chicken wings, but not before she performed a socially distant dance for him while he waited. She added that Williams is a club regular and the BBQ wings were named after him. Club officials would not comment on a report that ‘in and out’ was code for his trips to the champagne room.

Read more at yahoo.com.

People really didn’t warm up to Bane because we had no idea how ahead of his time he was.

He’s 2020.

Sometimes we get the antihero we need.

They don’t call her Queen Bee because she she doesn’t get raves. It’s her world even if that world is covered in covid.

Read more at mediaite.com.

Everyone is freaking out because Adele has lost so much weight she is unrecognizable.

Adele, we all understand weight loss but if you’re an actual shape shifter you need to tell us.

Read more at pagesix.com.

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This is like you clinging to your 2020 plans like they’re really going to happen.

Via digg.

Not gonna spend any time explaining this because you wouldn’t believe it anyway.

Just watch and fuck your mind.

What the hell is this? pic.twitter.com/CfQSPrM5OY

— Feitelberg (@FeitsBarstool) July 31, 2020