We’ve all thought about quitting Facebook. Some of us have even made the declaration (without a hint of irony) in a Facebook post. Whether it’s to avoid a creepy stalker, because you couldn’t take another hourly update on your high school acquaintance’s messy divorce, or just that your ego got hurt after your last brunch selfie just didn’t get enough Likes, that Deactivate option can look pretty tempting. But it’s still the dominant platform for grown-ups and businesses alike so it’s pretty hard to ever truly break free. So if you wanna go, but you just keep staying, here’s five comedians you can Follow to to help make the sea of engagement announcements and Marilyn Monroe memes more bearable.
Imagine if, instead of commenting on red carpets and reality shows, you had a sassy gay guy with the heart of Donald Trump commenting on all us peasants that surround him every day. If you subscribe to him on Facebook, you won’t have to imagine anymore. Tim will serve it up to you on a daily basis, and it’ll be better than anything your weak liberal mind could conjure up. https://www.facebook.com/tim.dillon.737
Usually, when a comedian hears “don’t quit your day job” it’s because he isn’t even in the neighborhood of funny. In Paul’s case, it’s because he’s so funny, he makes the never ending annoyance of being a Hollywood bartender hilarious. https://www.facebook.com/paul.palmeri
Did you have that babysitter who was the first person to explain what a bikini wax was? She was the one who always snuck into your mom’s scotch, gave you a nip, then had a screaming fight with her boyfriend on your land line, warned you off all men, then the boyfriend showed up and they spent the rest of the night making out on your couch. No? You do now. https://www.facebook.com/mcgeekster
The hysterical videos she makes with Frank Liotti and Danny Cohen stand on their own. But you get an added bonus with Jessica. She’s struggled with depression and substance abuse (which she’s very open about onstage and online) and posts wonderful stories of gratitude that will infect you in a way most of Facebook’s hollow and saccharine “inspirational” posts never do. https://www.facebook.com/jessicakirson/
Straight. Up. Fricken. Hilarious. I’m not even gonna try to sum Janelle up because her posts speak for themselves. https://www.facebook.com/bellenoelle
Sandro’s brain doesn’t work like yours or mine. It’s like a word association free-for-all mad libs. And it’s tremendous. https://www.facebook.com/AlmostFunny