United Airlines is being accused of staffing flights for big NFL and MLB sports teams with young blonde crew members, and employees are taking them to court for it.

These guys do pretty well for themselves on the ground, you don’t need to staff their flight like a barely legal porn.

Read more at nypost.com.

EVERYTHING

everything

Former UFC Champion Conor McGregor has been detained in Corsica over allegations of sexual assault and indecent exposure.
Some things in the world even a left hook can’t get you out of.

Read more at thedailybeast.

Tom Brady says that game day sex with Gisele is ‘off the table’ and isn’t part of his pre-game warm up. Brady’s former teammates have finally figured out why Brady took cold showers before every game.

Read more at pagesix

The Hillcrest-Tuscaloosa High School team was down to rival Wetumpka High 30-28 with only 2.9 seconds left and had ran one play left to pull out a miracle win. Nine laterals and a couple of fumbles later, Hillcrest pulled off the improbable win. The post game bonfire featured Wetumpka players burning their uniforms.

Read more at tmz.

“Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich and you haven’t broken any rules.”

I want you to hold it between your knees!

Read more at theringer.com.

It’s like Andy Warhol famously said “In the future everyone will be The Joker for 15 minutes.”

So sorry. Proceed

If Sandler played The Joker pic.twitter.com/9L9qP3PtvZ

— Steven Castillo (@STEEEZUSCHRIST) September 11, 2020

Candace Cameron Bure has been taking heat for posting a pic of her husband’s hand on her breast. The Christians are freaked despite that fact that she has been married to him for 28 years.

Saget wrote “Congrats on second base.”

Read more at yahoo.

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John Fogerty is puzzled that the President is using ‘Fortunate Son’ at rallies – considering that embodies many of the characteristics of the people that the song rails against. Fogerty would have no problem if ‘Bad Moon Rising’ instead.

Read more at nydailynews.

You Need One, Too.

Via digg.

Papa John, you may have a giant gold statue of eagles mating but you ain’t on the list.

Read more at thedailymeal.com.

You’ve done the gimmick of explaining things to a time traveler from decades ago, or centuries ago. But can you explain the world to a time traveler from last year?

Oh you mean the whole global pandemic, everything canceled, skies burning orange with fires???

Probably that Keep up with the Kardashians is over…

https://twitter.com/i/events/1304803799572180994?s=10

Imagine showing this tweet to yourself a year ago and explaining "oh no, the masks aren't because the sky is orange, that's for a different thing." https://t.co/nnqoOBk3uM

— Meredith Haggerty (@manymanywords) September 9, 2020

Imagine showing this to someone in 2019 https://t.co/osQUO8G4t8

— Ramp Capital (@RampCapitalLLC) June 23, 2020

Imagine going back in time one year and showing people this picture of a stadium full of cardboard fans and a sky of orange. pic.twitter.com/8SU5qhfAxf

— Mike Elgan (@MikeElgan) September 11, 2020

Imagine waking up from a coma & reading this headline. https://t.co/lPHvbNf41K

— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) May 15, 2020