The two men who were supposed to be watching Jeffrey Epstein the night he died have admitted they were sleeping and on the internet.

Finally, fat and lazy is a viable excuse for something.

Read more at nypost.

New York City has opened its newest park, Little Island, at the west end of 14th street and people are very excited.

Guys, it’s not a little island, it’s a little pier.

Read more at wsj.

In the video you can hear the father pleading for the cops to return his daughter’s ashes to him while the police try to figure out what to do.

Snorting ashes is worse than meth.

Read more at toofab.

Move over pancakes, turns out we’re better off eating leftovers from last night’s dinner instead of french toast or waffles or pancakes.

Can I at least have a sweet roll with my mashed potatoes?

Read more at huffpost.com.

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Trevor Lawrence almost missed his shot to be the Jacksonville Jaguars #1 draft pick in this year’s draft. The Jags had three minutes to call and lock their pick, but when they called Lawrence, they got his voice mail, three times.

If you can’t trust him to answer the phone, how’s he gonna run your two minute drill. #tebowforqb

Read more at CBS Sports.

#Jaguars released a video of their Draft night, turns out that because the NFL required them to wait 7 minutes, they took their time to call @Trevorlawrencee. Once they tried it went to voicemail… 3 times

They finally got in touch to draft him.pic.twitter.com/JeeHCo3U6t

— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) May 21, 2021

Biles nails a move in practice that has never been completed by a female gymnast during competition.

The roundoff back-handspring approach to the vault, which leads to a double flip while the athlete maintains a straight-legged position is incredible difficult and dangerous.

When is Marvel just going to give Simone Biles a movie?

Simone Biles just did THAT. 🤯

(via @NastiaLiukin) @OnHerTurf pic.twitter.com/HtkwAvPcEH

— #TokyoOlympics (@NBCOlympics) May 21, 2021

SIM🤯NE @Simone_Biles x #USClassicpic.twitter.com/MZNfsqz2Be

— Team USA (@TeamUSA) May 21, 2021

Vanity Fair’s former editor Graydon Carter no-showed a lunch reservation for 12 so the Restaurant’s owner Keith McNally banned him from all his restaurants. In a long instagram post, McNally said extra staff was brought in to make the meal go smoothly and special arrangements were made to cater to the party. He also called him a ‘fancy fucker’.

“Graydon Carter had done this very same thing before. Once at Minetta Tavern and twice at Balthazar. Perhaps, being something of a social bigwig, Mr Carter thinks he is above having to cancel restaurant reservations. Perhaps. But I’ll tell you one thing. The fancy Fucker will never be allowed to make a reservation at one of my restaurants again. Never.”

Maybe Graydon is just against cancel culture.

Read more at pagesix

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Keith McNally (@keithmcnallynyc)

When asked her favorite song from the classic movie, JJL said its American Girl. She said Jackson Browne’s “Somebodys Baby” is her character’s theme song in a way, but it makes her feel exposed.

Exposed? Why? Did you really lose your virginity to Ron Johnson stereo salesman in that dugout.

Read more at yahoo.

In a new Apple TV series, The Me You Can’t See, Glenn Close revealed that her family joined a religious group when she was 7, and she spent 15 years living a lifestyle that she describes as basically a cult.

It’s still no excuse for boiling rabbits.

Read more at people.com.

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People are hungry to live life, and they’re choosing to splurge a little bit even if its a bit beyond their needs.

These are the exact same people who were drunk and in debt before the pandemic.

Read more at market watch.