Saturday July 23, Daily Links

Published by Interrobang Staff at July 23, 2022

SATURDAY 7.23

NEWS STORIES

Polar Bear Begs For Help After Getting Milk Can Stuck in Its Mouth

A team from a Moscow Zoo had to show up and offer aide after a bear got his tongue stuck inside a condensed milk can, and couldn’t get himself free of the damn thing.

It’s odd how many times this happens.

Twitter is Obsessed with Jan 6 Panel Clark Kent

They’ve named him Clark Kent because he’s a good looking guy with thick glasses and they’re positively obsessed with him.

Unfortunately for him, there’s no phone booths left in Washington.

Jared and Ivanka Are Out, Guess Who's In

The couple are no longer inside the inner circle, because Trump really hates smart independent thinkers. So he’s replacing them with an idiot who has undying loyalty and sells pillows.

Mike Lindell is the daughter that Trump always wanted.

NASA Asks Male Astronauts To Refrain From Jerking Off

Men who masturbate in space risk impregnating female coworkers, says Nasa . Guess all that flying jizz could float right into another astronaut’s pussy. “Three female astronauts can be impregnated by the same man on the same session … it finds its way,” a scientist told Conan O’Brien.

Oh great, now you tell me, said Buzz Aldrin.

Steve Bannon Guilty

A jury has found Steve Bannon guilty of contempt of congress. It’s a misdemeanor but could carry jaily time.

The bad news is he’s guilty. The good news is he finally combed his hair.

WHO Declares Monkeypox A Global Health Emergency

The World Health Organization has announced that Monkeypox is now a global health emergency. Luckily trust and faith in the WHO is now at a global high.

The Mafia Is Annoyed With The New Generation Using Socials

The old guard of the Mafia isn’t happy that the new generation flaunts their wealth on Tik Tok.

How else are they gonna get new members? The Italian Mob is in the same boat as the US Military.

SPORTS

Vince McMahon Retires

The CEO of the WWE announced on Twitter that he is stepping down as CEO, and I’m sure it has nothing to do with all those hush money allegations against him.

This is a great angle.

The Rams Super Bowl Ring is Ridiculously Blinged Out

The Rams showed off a close look at their championship super bowl ring design.

Is this from the Elvis Presley collection?

Details on details on details. 💍 pic.twitter.com/JpFVf6E5oS

— Los Angeles Rams (@RamsNFL) July 22, 2022

Inspired by LA. For LA. pic.twitter.com/BZwmrooaJa

— Los Angeles Rams (@RamsNFL) July 22, 2022

Animal Activists Pissed at Floyd Mayweather

The boxer bought a mink car seat for about 18 grand, and now everyone’s pissed at him.

If you think that’s bad you should see his toilet paper.

CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT

Kid Cudi Walks Off Stage At Festival

Kid Cudi was performing at the Rolling Loud Festival and the crowd wouldn’t stop throwing garbage at him and he stormed off the stage. And as punishment for these acts Kanye showed up.

Now We Know Why Desus And Mero Broke Up

Five sources told Puck that the split between Desus and Mero was due to their manager. Mero was loyal to him despite the crew and Showtime being fed up with his behavior.

This sets up a real banger of a reunion tour in about six months.

First Full Trailer For The Lord of The Rings Drops At Comic Con

Tolkien fans rejoice, the first full trailer for the new LOTR series on Prime premiered at San Diego Comic Con. Some fans are not happy there are black elves and hobbits but the Germans seem fine being that they are what Orcs were based on.

Get over it.

John Wick 4 Is Coming

The first teaser for John Wick 4 has been released. This guy really loved that dog.

Watch it on YouTube.

Pat Benatar Touring But There's One Song You Won't Hear at Her Shows

Benetar told USA Today, she won’t be singing Hit Me With Your Best Shot, in deference to the victims of the families of these mass shootings. “I’m not singing it. I tell them, if you want to hear the song, go home and listen to it. (The title) is tongue-in-cheek, but you have to draw the line. I can’t say those words out loud with a smile on my face, I just can’t. I’m not going to go on stage and soapbox – I go to my legislators – but that’s my small contribution to protesting. I’m not going to sing it. Tough.”

That should clean up all our problems. Hopefully this will bring about a drop in mass shootings.

Severance Creator Couldn't Read Reddit

The show’s creator and head writer Dan Erickson talked with Patton Oswalt at San Diego Comic Con, explaining that he got addicted to reading fan theories on Reddit, and had to force himself to stop, “As we have gotten more into writing Season 2 it becomes that thing of infinite options, and you have to be committed to what you’re doing. I had to cut off other ideas about where it could go because there’s an infinite amount of paths we could take,” he said.

If you think that’s bad, try going to the subreddits about the vaccine.

William Shatner Says New Sci Fi Sucks

The 91 year old actor had a chat at Comic Con on stage with Kevin Smith and was feisty about how mad other Sci Fi series were/are. “I got to know [creator] Gene Roddenberry in three years fairly well,” said Shatner, “he’d be turning in his grave at some of this stuff.”

Also please stay off his lawn.

Ricky Martin Devastated By Accusations

The court case has been dismissed, and Ricky’s nephew has recanted allegations that his uncle had sex with him and abused him. But Ricky Martin is still devastated by the experience. “Thank God [these] claims were proven to be false, but I’m going to tell you the truth. It has been so painful. It has been devastating for me, for my family, for my friends. I don’t wish this upon anybody,” Martin said.

The dude was just Living La Vida Loca

VIRAL & TRENDING

Giraffe Fucks Up Marriage Proposal

A dude was trying to propose to his girl while on Safari, and a giraffe was either looking to score the girl, or a ring. The giraffe got nothing, and the girl ended up in a neck brace. No word on if she said yes.