This clip recorded for John Boehner’s audio book has a little something special for Ted Cruz.

First time I ever agreed with John Boehner.

When @SpeakerBoehner was recording his audiobook I was told by sources that during these wine-soaked sessions he would deviate from the book’s text and insert random violent attacks on @tedcruz. Well, here’s some tape (listen to the end): pic.twitter.com/NFCQ2QFdTT

— Jonathan Swan (@jonathanvswan) April 2, 2021

On Trump’s last day in office, while trying to sanction a guy in Venezuela over oil exports, he accidentally placed sanctions on a restaurant and pizzeria in Italy called Dolce Gusto. The owner of the pizza place had the same name as the Venezuelan oil exporter.

This one clearly has Rudy Giuliani’s name written all over it. #fourseasonslandscaping

Read more at Gizmodo.

Anti Capitalist Protester Climbed up on a wall
Anti Capitalist protester had a great fall
And all of the supporters both women and men
Couldn’t put his ego together again.

Read more at NY Post.

Protester Just Fell off the building while climbing Chase Bank in Manhattan to #StopLine3 pic.twitter.com/Un5kgxV8Du

— @SCOOTERCASTER (FNTV) (@ScooterCasterNY) April 2, 2021

The First Lady fooled everyone on board a flight back to Washington for April Fools day, when she dressed up as a flight attendant and passed out ice cream bars.

This isn’t a prank, it’s cosplay.

Read more at Yahoo.

….says a poll in Russia most likely designed, responded to and judged by Putin.

Old Vlad is still Putin on the ritz.

Read more at NY Post

A hot dog stuffed inside a pickle, then deep fried and served with side of peanut butter…

But where’s the chocolate? WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE?

Read more at food and wine.

Disneyland is advertising a hot dog stuffed inside a dill pickle that is fried and served with a side of peanut butter. (Heart defibrillators 50 cents extra.) pic.twitter.com/oLEMjyMCvO

— Brooks Barnes (@brooksbarnesNYT) March 31, 2021

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The MLB says they are finalizing a new host city and” for this year’s all star game. Details about these events will be announced shortly. The move is in response to Georgia’s new voting laws that restrict voting access for people of color.

So why are we still playing the Braves?

Read more at ESPN

NBA player Draymond Green says women need to stop complaining about equal pay in professional sports. He wants them to put in more effort to the fight, instead of just complaining.

Hey Dray. If you have nothing smart to say you really should keep your mouth shut.

Read more at Mediaite.

"I'm really tired of seeing them complain about the lack of pay, b/c they're doing themselves a disservice by just complaining."
Today Draymond talked about his Tweets about women's sports that received criticism from athletes like @mPinoe & @Layshiac @kron4news #DubNation pic.twitter.com/7iUQ982jx9

— Kylen Mills (@KylenMills) April 1, 2021

NBA player Kevin Durant was fined $50,000 for using inappropriate language while he blasted Michael Rapaport.

$50k to insult Michael Rapaport? Well worth the price.

Read more at NY Times

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Cash Me Ousside, aka Bhad Bhabie, aka Danielle Bregoli turned 18, started an only fans and made $1 million in one day. Actually it was more like six hours.

According to reports, $900,000 came from Compound Media.

Read more at Barstool Sports

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A post shared by ℬ𝒽𝒶𝒷𝒾ℯ🦋 (@bhadbhabie)

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A post shared by ℬ𝒽𝒶𝒷𝒾ℯ🦋 (@bhadbhabie)

Former Jackass member Bam Margera is really pissed at Johnny Knoxville for sending him to rehab- a place he calls a living hell that put him in harms way. Margera rattled off 19 prescriptions he said he was put on in rehab, that nearly killed him. Bam says he went to rehab for adder all and alcohol, and come out on Zoloft, Vistaril, Buproprion, Lithium, Concerta, Propranolol , Seroquel, Contrave, Trazodone, Vivitrol Naltrexone, Letuda, Zyprexa, Lexapro, Abilify, Wellbutrin, Vraylar, and Adderall and klonopin. “And Dr. Knoxville said I can take all of that except for the Aderall and Klonopin.”

Well, great to see that you’re doing so well BAM

Read more at TMZ.

Diddy couldn’t make it to his kids 23rd birthday so he appeared by hologram, and he isn’t even dead!

And oddly enough, his hologram sucks too.

Read more at Billboard.

DMX is in critical condition, and although there are reports that he is breathing on his own, reports are that his kids are coming in, and that he is in a vegetative state.

If anyone can pull through it’s DMX. That’s how ruff riders roll!

Read more at tmz.

For those who watched with bated breath as she gave birth streaming live via webcam this is a huge loss..

and to explain to those who have no idea who April is; she was the People’s Giraffe.

@AnimalAdvPark announced that April the Giraffe died this morning. Here is a part of their statement on her death. #AprilTheGiraffe pic.twitter.com/eAGfOjii0I

— Iris St. Meran (@IrisOnTV) April 2, 2021

What could be better than a guest appearance by ScarJo? How about a Cameo from Colin Jost

We don’t see these two sharing the same screen but maybe now she could hook up with some of that sweet Avenger money! Even just as a day player!

Read more at people.com.

Fully gagged by @ColinJost making a guest appearance rn 🥺🥰 #DragRace pic.twitter.com/V7gI6Qjgec

— RuPaul's Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) April 3, 2021

To try to put it terms that Gen Z can understand… he was the Timothee Chalamet of his time.

Read more at variety.

This dog must really hate weather reporters and their inaccurate forecasts because it literally ripped the mic right out of the reporters hands and headed for the hills.

You sure thats a dog? Or is it an African lion? #callback #yesterdaysnews

A dog in Russia grabbed the reporter's microphone and ran away during a live broadcast pic.twitter.com/R1T8VZ5Kpt

— Ali Özkök (@Ozkok_A) April 2, 2021

A Bald Eagle hunts down and eats a seagull on a golf course in Vancouver.

Eagles went from endangered to dangerous.

Read more at The Sun.

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