Thursday October 23: Daily Links
THURSDAY 10.23
NEWS STORIES
NASA to Make Big Announcement
On Monday Oct 26, NASA is promising to deliver some exciting news about the moon.
Please say it can be used as an escape pod from earth??
Hold Off Birthdays During Pandemic!?
Young people think the pandemic pause has robbed them of their prime and they don’t want to be aged for it.
Fine. Aging stopped in March.
Boston Dynamics Nightmare Inducing Robot Dog Will Have Extra Nightmarish Feature
If you buy a Boston Dynamics robot dog, you will be able to opt for one with an extra arm.
Oh good in case the dog wasn’t horrifying enough, now it can maybe brandish or knife or gun. The future seems great!
Cam Girls Say Zoom Fantasies Are The New Kink
Cam girls say that most of their clientele tell them they masturbate during meetings, and keep their cam sites up in the background while they work from home. They also claim that clients are willing to pay girls $100 to pretend they’re in a Zoom meeting talking about customers. The fantasy Zoom Holiday parties are going to be extra freaky.
Ghislaine Maxwell Deposition Has Been Released
The transcripts of a Ghislaine Maxwell deposition have been released after her legal team has been trying to block them. Nothing too salacious has been found in them yet besides her denying she was friends with Bill Clinton and denying that she kept a bowl of sex toys at the ready in Jeffrey Epsteins bedroom. This is coming off as sexy as a Daniel Steele novel.
San Fran Passes The CAREN Act
San Francisco has voted to pass the Caution Against Racially and Exploitative Non-Emergencies (CAREN) Act that makes racially-motivated phone calls to 911 illegal. Karens across the city are weeping into their Live Laugh Love pillows as we speak.
SPORTS
Trevor Lawrence Don't Be a Jet
Roddy White is telling Trevor Lawrence “it would be awful for you to get drafted by the Jets because they do not know how to put anything together over there as far as quarterbacking, weapons around the quarterback, as far as anything that has to do with offensive talent,”
Well this is obvious.
Will Mayor Bill DeBlasio Block the Sale of the NY Mets to Steve Cohen
Bill, you already on most people’s shit list, do really want to add Mets fans??
ENTERTAINMENT
Brooke Shields 55 and Smokin in Bikini
What are the odds that a super model would continue to be attractive as they age?
It has to be about one in one.
Jared Leto Back as Joker
Only one Joker out of the last 3 jokers has NOT won an Oscar. So lets bring that one back.
OK Joke’s on us.
Giuliani Defends His Borat Moment
After that viral Borat incident, Guiliani claims he was just ‘Tucking in His Shirt’
Sure, lots of people take off their wired mic by lying down on a bed in a room alone with a woman and stuffing their hands down their pants. t’s called THE BIZ.
Miley Cyrus Says She Was Once Chased Down By UFO
Miley Cyrus claimed that she once saw a ‘glowing yellow’ UFO that looked like a ‘flying snowplow’ and was able to make eye contact with its driver. She did that she was also high on some weed wax during the encounter. You were sold the good stuff, Miley.
Lindsey Buckingham Posts Dreams TikTok Video
Former Fleetwood Mac guitarist Lindsey Buckingham joined in the ‘Dreams’ TikTok parade, drinking Ocean Spray on a horse while the 1977 hit plays in the background. John McVie plans to record his from the sun roof of his limo.
@mickfleetwood @420doggface208 had it right. Dreams and Cranberry just hits different. ##Dreams ##CranberryDreams ##FleetwoodMac
Charlie Brown Specials Move To Apple TV
Under a new deal, all of the Peanuts holiday specials – It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and A Charlie Brown Christmas will move to Apple TV. It will be the first time since 1965 that the specials will not be airing on broadcast TV. Good grief.
Only Fans Mom Pulls Gun To Stop Home Intruders
An Only Fans model had to pull out her gun and defend her family from home intruders armed with an uzi and it was all caught on tape. For the full uncensored version you’ll have to subscribe to her channel.
more coming soon
everything
GOING VIRAL
What Thanksgiving Staple Gets The Boot?
Twitter is asking which of these six items should get the boot from Thanksgiving dinner and yams are leading the pack. Yam futures are tanking right now with all the Zoomer hate.
Yams gotta go pic.twitter.com/mauTiVZ78t
— penthousepapi (@primehob) October 21, 2020
STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS
Paste Picks the 50 Greatest New Wave Albums
Here are the 50 greatest synthy albums to moodily sway back and forth to.
Read More Stories From the IB Wire
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