Monday May 11: Daily Links (Plus Weekend Links)

MONDAY 5.11


NEWS STORIES

 



The Car Is Making A Comeback Because No One Trusts Public Transportation

Because of people’s fear of now using public transportation, more commuters are choosing to drive into work than take a bus or train which could mean a comeback for the car industry. Meanwhile, the train industry is slowly removing its belt.

Read more at yahoo.com.



Judge Won’t Drop Charges Against Lori Laughlin And Her Husband

A California judge is refusing to drop the charges against Lori Laughlin and her husband in the college admissions scandal. For all future college scammers, get your people to photoshop your kids working at a PPE factory instead of being on a rowing team, it’ll go a lot farther.

Read more at apnews.com.



Richard Branson Could Be Getting Out The Space Game

Richard Branson is apparently clearing the way to dump half his stake in Virgin Galactic. Though being in a space suit may be the only way to safely fly in the future so this could be a mistake.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.



SPORTS



Shaq Thinks NBA Should Blow Off Season

The NBA is thinking of different ways to get to the playoff part of the season. Playing with no fans at Disney basketball courts is the rumor, but Shaq ain’t into it because the players won’t be in shape.

Shaq. You’ve never been in shape

Read more at thescore.com.



The Last Dance Brings Back Up The Michael Jordan Gambling Conspiracy

The conspiracy theory that Michael Jordan’s dad was murdered over a gambling debt and that he was forced out of the NBA for a year by David Stern was addressed over the weekend on The Last Dance documentary. Everyone involved denied any of this was a possibility which just fuel even more conspiracies.

Read more at nypost.com.



ESPN Accidentally Leaks MLB Pitcher’s Phone Number

ESPN accidentally posted the cell phone number of Cincinnati Reds pitcher Trevor Bauer during a FaceTime interview on their Korean Baseball broadcast. After calling out ESPN for their ‘massive screw up’, the Reds right handed gave away a pair of signed cleats and an autographed ball to a lucky caller – then changed his number. Bauer had to delete all of the Chinese bank robocalls before finding a winner.

Read more at yahoo.com.



Who’s Gonna Be In The Booth On MNF!?

Joe Tessitore and Booger are out of the booth for this upcoming season of Monday Night Football and a nation is in mourning. Steve Levy and Brian Griese are the favorites to replace them. Sadly, Booger will now be living out of the Boogermobile until further notice.

Read more at nypost.com.



ENTERTAINMENT



Rose McGowan Accuses Bill Maher of Creeping

Rose McGowan said that when she did Bill Maher’s show in the 90s that he leaned over and whispered to her that he had a huge cock.

Rose, did he say he had a huge cock or WAS a huge cock?

Read more at toofab.com.



Joe Exotic Fashion Line Sells Out

Joe Exotic partnered with someone to make a fashion line of shirts and hoodies and it all sold out within hours. Next up, Joe Exotic’s personal pan microwaveable garbage meat pizzas. Yum!

Read more at tmz.com.



Rosie O’Donnell Helping Michael Cohen Write Tell-All Book

Former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen is writing a tell all book and he’s getting help from Rosie O’Donnell. The former View host says she agreed to help him with his memoir after spending six hours with Cohen while he was in prison for lying to Congress and making illegal hush money payments. O’Donnell promises that the book is ‘pretty spicy’ and hopes it will be out before the election. Cohen’s reps won’t comment on reports that the working title is ‘Hush Money, More Problems’.

Read more at pagesix.com.



Courtney Cox Doesn’t Miss Bizarre Mother’s Day Gifts

Courtney Cox says that one benefit of the quarantine is that she won’t be receiving any bizarre Mother’s Day gifts. Last year, the former Friends star received the book, The Sound Of Farts from her daughter Coco. Reps for Cox denied reports that her daughter got her that book because ‘Down For Diarrhea’ was out of stock.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.





Sir Anthony Hopkins Joins TikTok, Does The Tootsie Slide

Sir Anthony Hopkins joined TikTok and posted a video of him doing the Toosie Slide. The Academy Award winning actor then challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone to join him in a dance battle. Chuck Norris is still hoping for an invite so he can rock the Harlem Shake.

Read more at pagesix.


@anthonyhopkins

##Drake I’m late to the party… but better late than never. @oficialstallone @arnoldschnitzel ##toosieslidechallenge

♬ original sound – officialanthonyhopkins



GOING VIRAL



Mother’s Day Taking it to the Hoop

OK young man . Go pick up your jock. It fell off when she put your balls in her back pocket

Via Twitter.



Guy and His Dog Channel The Never Ending Story

Most viral videos are not clever but this one you may take a few beats to see how he did it.

Birdie would have been better casting

Via Twitter.



Video Of Woman Masturbating In An Ikea In China Goes Viral(NSFW)

Sure, this isn’t safe for work, but no one’s at “work” anymore are they?

Read more at theglittersonline and watch it at pornhub.com.



WEEKEND LINKS


NEWS STORIES



Good News! COVID-19 Will Vanish ‘Without A Vaccine,’

“I feel about vaccines like I feel about tests. This is going to go away without a vaccine.
It’s gonna go away, and we’re not going to see it again, hopefully, after a period of time,”

OK great because this was getting a little wonky.

Read more at huffpost.com.



Governor Cuomo Would Love For De Niro To Play Him In A Movie

Governor Cuomo says that would be flattered if his friend Robert De Niro would play him in a COVID-19 based movie. The only thing that would make this movie work is if they got Joe Pesci to play Chris Cuomo.

Read more at pagesix.com.



The Coronavirus Pandemic Is Heralding In The Age Of The Robot Worker

Robots can’t get covid so why not depend on them more? They can also murder us all faster than any pandemic. That’s why.

Read more at bloomberg.com.



The Coronavirus Response Timeline

Sometimes it’s hard to remember how we ended up in this shit show, but the The Daily Show was good enough to collect the madness in one fun timeline.

Well, we finally know their are no time travelers or they suck too.



Google and Facebook Among Employers Who Are Saying See Ya Next Year!

2020 is a wash and Google and Facebook had accepted it by telling there employees they won’t be opening offices until next year.

Great, their employees has plenty of time to hit the beaches, parks, and open mouth kiss strangers.

Read more at nydailynews.com.



Roy of Siegfried & Roy dead at 75 from Coronavirus

Roy Horn survived a tiger attack but lost his battle from the ugly covid.

The true Tiger King.

Read more at nbcnews.com.



SPORTS



Everyone Is Obsessed With Steve Underwood’s Facial Hair

Quarantine is a fun time to try out a new look, so why not go for Steve Underwood’s fuzzy beaked parrot muppet.

Read more at thecut.com.





ENTERTAINMENT



Dee Snider’s Daughter Rescued From Being Stranded In Lima

Dee Snider announced that his daughter Chey – who had been stranded in Peru after travel bans went into effect due to the coronavirus – was rescued by the U.S. Embassy in Lima. Snider said that the embassy gave her a military security detail, took her to a local airport, where a chartered plane took her and others to Miami. Snider would not comment on reports that his daughter sped up the process by constantly singing ‘I Wanna Rock’.

Read more at pagesix.com.



Jake Gyllenhaal Broadway Quarantine Song

I should hate everything about this song, so why did I tear tear up!?

Damn you Jake Gyllenhaal! “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

Via YouTube.



Tyra Banks Addresses Past Insensitive America’s Top Model Comments – Sort Of

Tyra Banks responded to recently revealed comments made during ‘America’s Top Model’ that showed the modeling icon body shaming one of the contestants. Banks called her comments ‘some really off choices’ but did not apologize. Reps for Banks did not respond to reports that she’s joining a new reality show, ‘America’s Biggest Hypocrites’.

Read more at ew.com.



More Staffers Say Ellen Isn’t Very Nice

Ellen DeGeneres has a thread on Twitter as ‘one of the meanest people alive’ that includes stories of the talk show host complaining about a waitress’ nail polish, being unfriendly to one of her bodyguards, and demanding that no one make direct eye contact with her. This comes in the wake of DeGeneres taking heat for comparing the lockdown to ‘being in jail’ and trying to cut her show crew in favor of freelancers. Currently, there are no threads of her demanding that no one makes eye contact with her while she’s dancing.

Read more at nypost.com.



Jamie Foxx Nails Kermit the Frog, Jay Z, Dave Chappelle, and Mike Tyson Impressions

This reboot of The Trip is pretty cool.

Via Twitter.



Kanye and Kim Reportedly Having A Rough Time During Quarantine

Oh what!? Sick of seeing each other all the time every day!? Now you guys know how America feels.

Read more at pagesix.com.



RIP Little Richard

Rock and Roll legend Little Richard has died oat the age of 87. His family has not yet revealed the cause of death. That leaves Jerry Lee Lewis as the Highlander of Rock.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.



Daymond John Thinks It Will Take Years to Bring Economy Back

Daymond John thinks bad times are FUBU and he thinks there could be a real estate collapse in our future.

For that reason, I am out.

Read more at tmz.com.



That Time Mark Consuelos Tried to “Catch” Kelly Ripa Cheating

Mark Consuelos took a flight without telling his wife Kelly Ripa so he could catch her with a side piece.

You thought it was Regis, admit it.

Read more at yahoo.com.



Tekashi Drops New Music Video Because Why Not

Tekashi is out of prison and already making new music and just dropped a brand new music video. Finally, we have a soundtrack to the Covid-19 pandemic.

Read more at nypost.com.



GOING VIRAL



Watch This Family ‘Come Together’

It’s always nice to see a family band, but face it,

They are nothing without the hype kid up front.

Via digg.



Check Out NYC In 1976

Look at NYC back when you can still get coke, a blow job and an STD all in Times Square.

Via digg.



Whale Gets Air

Even whales are enjoying the human-less oceans so much that they are jumping for joy.

We will turn you into a candle, bitch.

Via digg.



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