Armchair internet detectives are using access to facial recognition technology to try to hunt down and out people they believe had committed sins.

Yeah, who didn’t see this coming.

Read more at huffpo.

They’re coming back to the surface after being underground since 2003, and there’s billions of them..

Cicadas are like a biker gang that shows up every 17 years. They dont really do any harm but nobody wants them there anway.

Read more at nytimes

Watching your friends and Family get their shots when you don’t qualify may cause vaccine envy

Remember when you used to feel jealous of your friends sharing Instagram pics on the beach in Mykonos and backpacking though Vietnam instead of getting a needle stuck in their arm??

Read more at latimes.

Nothing says romance like a packed subway car in the middle of pandemic.

Read more at theatlantic

The ship blocking billions of dollars of commerce in the Suez canal has been fully dislodged and is not floating.

No news on where all those trafficked children or the imminent arrest of HRC.

So what are we supposed to talk about now?

Read more at cnn.

Team Captain Christian Ronaldo walked off the field before the game ended and ripped off his captain’s armband after a bad call cost Portugal the game.

Ronaldo you’re so pretty when you cry.

THE END OF SERBIA-PORTUGAL WAS WILD 🤯

Cristiano Ronaldo was visibly upset after he believed Portugal scored a late winner. pic.twitter.com/JaLAz2ghpl

— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) March 27, 2021

Cristiano Ronaldo walked off the pitch before the final whistle at the end of the Serbia-Portugal game, and threw his captain's armband in frustration. pic.twitter.com/I2i9uwkPhM

— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) March 27, 2021

T.O. prayed and thanked God after walking away unharmed from a serious car crash in LA.

TO your life is a train wreck, not a car wreck.

Read more at TMZ

Oh wow so they have a men’s soccer team?? Are Carli Lloyd and Megan Rapinoe on that team too because otherwise what’s point?

Read more at nytimes.

Amy Schumer posted on her stories some photos and video getting the Covid-19 vaccine. While waiting in the chair, she joked, “some people are scared of the vaccine but I was like, I don’t care what’s in there, shoot it in my pussy, I don’t care!”

Afterward she cheered “We got the vaccine!”

Great Amy, now can you talk Keith Robinson into getting the shot? We need him to be okay.

https://www.instagram.com/stories/amyschumer/2539672915434277919/

Spot on take on White Boy Summer form the king of docs.

But this makes us feel like this is going to be a scary summer for Poland.

Werner Herzog’s white boy summer rules and regulations pic.twitter.com/H6aXHLyRjb

— Nate (@BozoMode) March 27, 2021

Amy Schumer shared a super touching video of the time her dad met her co-star Goldie Hawn.

Niagara Falls!!!

It’s pretty sweet until you realize this is the only normal human response to meeting Goldie Hawn.

https://pagesix.com/2021/03/26/amy-schumer-shares-emotional-video-of-dad-meeting-goldie-hawn/

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A post shared by @amyschumer

Nas put out a limited edition sneaker set that comes complete with a pentagram and some human blood mixed into the paint. It’s caused uproars everywhere with fake apologies and Nike disassociating themselves from the sneaker. But nothing was funnier than the Governor of North Dakota weighing in on the shoe, and Nas’ response.

Read more at nytimes.

Our kids are being told that this kind of product is, not only okay, it's "exclusive." But do you know what's more exclusive? Their God-given eternal soul.

We are in a fight for the soul of our nation. We need to fight hard. And we need to fight smart. We have to win. https://t.co/m1k1YWFpuo

— Governor Kristi Noem (@govkristinoem) March 28, 2021

ur a whole governor and u on here tweeting about some damn shoes. do ur job! https://t.co/qaor6W0B9C

— nope 🏹 (@LilNasX) March 28, 2021

This may win the prize for worst toast- Trump took the mic at some random wedding he wandered into and instead of wishing the couple well, took the opportunity to feed off the glow of a captive audience.

Normally we can blame a bad wedding toast on someone being drunk.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

Madonna is showing off her shape at sixty with some new nearly nude instagram shots.

Hey wouldn’t it be easier just to write some good new songs?

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Madonna (@madonna)

This weekend, Eddie Murphy was inducted into the NAACP Hall of Fame.

And once again Earl Douglas was snubbed.

Read more at NME

Sharon is out of a job, and her good friend Piers Morgan is ready to return the favor and defend her.

Sounds like it’s almost time for Sharon to defend Piers again.

Read more at pagesix.

One animal with way too many names. What if we just call it Giant Scary Cat?

Ok because I'm curious:

1. what would you call this animal. Not whatever you think the "proper" name for it is, but what you'd colloquially call it

2. where, broadly, are your from? pic.twitter.com/2eqqNTARNP

— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) March 28, 2021

She just wants to live her life as a carefree puppy with a benevolent owner. He is willing to be that owner. Together they rule tiktok. Everyone’s happy.

It’s all fun until someone gets hit by a car.

Via worldstarhiphop.

everything