Monday March 23: Daily Links
NEWS STORIES
The New York Times Shows Us The Great Empty
Wouldn’t the New Weird have been a much better name for this?
Read more at nytimes.com.
Robert De Niro, Ben Stiller And Danny Devito Want You To Stay Home
If you can’t listen to Danny Devito, you’re a monster.
Read more at ksat.com.
Portland Strip Club Offering Delivery
A strip club in Portland has started Boober Eats, where he sends his dancers to deliver you food from the club. Unfortunately social distancing has bottomed out the lap dance market.
Read more at oregonlive.com.
Hobby Lobby Owner’s Wife Hears Message From God, Won’t Close Stores
The owner of Hobby Lobby says he’s keeping his stores open because his wife, a prayer warrior, got a message from God. Her next message will involve her saving a church in Chicago.
Read more at patheos.com.
Italian Mayors Lose Their Shit On People Not Quarantining
We’re about two days away from Governor Cuomo talking this same shit.
Via Reddit.
A compilation of Italian Mayors and Governors losing it at people violating Coronavirus quarantine (with accurate subtitles) from r/PublicFreakout
SPORTS
No Shit Report: Olympics To Be Postponed
Australia and Canada have pulled out of the Olympic games and it’s now all but a guarantee they will be postponed. OR we just say any country without confirmed Coronavirus can compete and see who is the best in the sickness free world.
Read more at dailymail.co.uk.
Donovan McNabb Wants Jameis Winston to Pats
McNabb thinks Jameis Winston is the guy to fill the Patriots Brady hole.
Winston can’t eat lobster legs!
Read more at tmz.com.
Tom Brady Has a Big Fan
I’d be optimistic about the Bucs chances at another Super Bowl if I wasn’t alive the last 20 years.
# the young are dumb.
Via Twitter.
Reply with your welcome message to @TomBrady! ♥️#GoBucs pic.twitter.com/d7Sr0tx0a0
— Tampa Bay Buccaneers (@Buccaneers) March 21, 2020
Patriot’s Bring Man, Myth. Legend Brian Hoyer To QB
Brian Hoyer, former two time back up to Tom Brady and starter for the Browns, is coming back home to the Patriots. Finally, he can step out of the shadow of that bum Brady.
Read more at espn.com.
CELEBRITIES
The Atlantic Rips Celebs For Stinking On Social Media
The celebs have really dropped the ball during this crisis. In their defense they are not with their writers producers and make up crew.
Plus That Imagine thing was awesome.
Read more at theatlantic.com.
Madonna Seems To Be Holding Up Well Under Quarantine
Someone get her a 1000 piece puzzle asap to keep her mind occupied.
Via Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Cno80hNub/
GOING VIRAL
Steve Martin Plays Some Banjo For Us
Feeling down? Steve Martin wants to shred on his banjo for you. Buck up!
https://twitter.com/i/events/1241457906618269697
Asian Daddy Knows You are Hungry
Don’t listen to the President. Your Asian daddy wants you to eat a nice meal.
Feed me daddy.
Via Twitter.
Your dad heard you’re hungry. https://t.co/xhtyk1P4j4 pic.twitter.com/9atheoE78c
— Paul Bae (@MrPaulBae) March 20, 2020
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