Monday March 16: Daily Links

South Beach Closed, Spring Break Is Over

Miami’s closing public beaches after 5pm starting this weekend to stop public congregations. If Girls Gone Wild still existed they’d be devastated.


Airline Passenger Makes Killer Joke About Coronavirus, Delays Flight Eight Hours

A man on an American Airlines flight joked about having the Coronavirus and ended up delaying the flight eight hours. He was eventually ejected from the plane. From now on no one should even ask for a Corona beer on a flight.


NYC Ordering Restaurants And Bars To Go Takeout Only

NYC’s mayor has ordered all restaurants and bars, effective Tuesday, to only operate with takeout menus and if a bar doesn’t serve food, to close. Time to start hoarding booze, people.


NFL Approves New CBA Deal

The players of the NFL narrowly approved a new deal that will create a 17 game season in years to come and this upcoming season will add teams to the playoffs. There will also be more revenue share with players and less marijuana testing.


These Are The Products No One Wants To Buy During the Coronavirus Outbreak

If you’re late to the prepping buying at the super market, you’ll have your choice of vegan food, Dasani water and chocolate hummus. Eat up!


Gun Sales Are Through The Roof

Gun sales are jumping and there are now lines out the door as if they were selling toilet paper and canned beans.

Read more here.

Big Brother Canada Contestants Confused As To Why There Was No Live Audience For Them

Big Brother Canada producers have yet to let the players know about the coronavirus and they were confused as to why there was no live audience. The next comp is going to have to deal with wiping down the house as fast as possible with Clorox wipes.

Via digg.

Forget Tom Brady Ryan Tannehill Staying With Titans

Who’s the G.O.A.T. Looks like it’s Ryan Tannehill. The Titans have blown off Tom Terrific to keep the guy they hired last year to be a back up.

Maybe Tom would work on MNF.


New Yorkers Are Getting Creative Combating Coronavirus

This guy should be the new health inspector for NYC.

NOLA Police Dropping The Hammer On Bourbon Street

The cops in New Orleans are doing their best to keep the drunks at home but what does this mean for the bead wholesalers?

Bernie Calls YouTube “The YouTube”, Internet Has Big Laugh

Bernie isn’t helping himself calling YouTube “The YouTube”. But it’s great for some distracting memes so there’s that.


Dakota Johnson’s Funky Cool Hollywood Home

Dakota Johnson has sweet hipster bamboo starter house and if you are really good, she will take you to the spanking room.

Jumping a Turnstile in These Strange Times

No one wants to pay for a train but you can’t be too clean in the era of sick.

Gotta disinfect the the turnstile before you hop it.

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