Monday February 15: Daily Links

MONDAY 2.15
NEWS STORIES
Offensive George Floyd Valentine Being Passed Around LAPD
A fake Valentine’s day card featuring a photo of George Floyd with the caption “you take my breath away” is reportedly being passed around the LAPD, and the upper brass say they have a zero tolerance policy for that kind of behavior.
And they say cops don’t have a sense of humor.
So someone in the LAPD posted a photo of George Floyd on social media with the caption, “you take my breathe away” in a Valentine format.
Really? This doesn’t help the situation. I’m curious as to the division and rank of the person who made the post. Holla. pic.twitter.com/bclHH8U2Di
— Jasmyne Cannick (@Jasmyne) February 14, 2021
Pentagon Admits It's Tested UFO Wreckage
A Freedom of Information Act request with the Pentagon has revealed that they’ve been testing the wreckage of UFO’s. Reports detailed recovering a “shape recovery alloy” that was discovered at some sites. This sounds like something the Galactic Federation is behind.
Biden Plays Mario Kart With Granddaughter
President Biden spent some down at Camp David playing Mario Kart with his granddaughter, Naomi. She later said that her granddad ‘was a little rusty, but he still won (barely)’. He actually wanted to play Call Of Duty, but it wasn’t installed yet.
The Crying Laughing Emoji Isn’t Hip
TikTok Zoomers are mocking Millennials saying the crying laughing emoji is no longer cool. The zoomers think it’s been co-opted by older generations and it’s no longer en vogue. Now if something is really funny, they use the skull emoji which means ‘I’m dead’ or ‘I’m dying’.
Too bad, they missed a real opportunity to use the “I Just Shit Myself Laughing Emoji.”
Is Uncle Sam Gonna Get Canceled!?
Politico’s run a piece suggesting maybe it’s time to put Uncle Sam to bed. The Tiger King would be a great and much more appropriate replacement.
SPORTS
Why is the Guy Who Runs the Texans Doing a Stand Up Sermon!
Jack Easterby, the executive vice president of football operations for the Houston Texans who is also a grifter pastor Jesus freak is going viral for a performance that one can only describe as some version of stand up. If anyone can turn around the Texans, it’s this dude.
Tennis Match Interrupted By Birds, Bird Shit And Beetles
Madison Brengle and Bianca Andreescu had to contend with low flying birds and beetles during their Phillip Island Trophy tennis match in Australia. The match was also delayed in order to scrap off all of the bird shit off the court. Did this take place in a sports arena or a wildlife reserve?
Well the bird wanted to stop play 😂?
Brengle: “It’s like a Hitchcock thing.”
Excellent camera work. https://t.co/YRk9H9usnk pic.twitter.com/mLvokDc62H— Tennis GIFs 🎾🎥 (@tennis_gifs) February 15, 2021
Madison Brengle was ready to go all after one of them. 😂 pic.twitter.com/YnuXi0Rn35
— Tennis GIFs 🎾🎥 (@tennis_gifs) February 15, 2021
CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT
Guy Fieri Joining the Ghost Kitchen Trend
Ghost Kitchens– restaurants that are delivery only, and operate out of some other restaurant’s kitchen– are on the rise as restaurants fight to lower costs amid pandemic restrictions. Guy Fieri is planning to open up a series of Flavortown ghost kitchens all over the country.
I see dead leftovers.
Cameron Crowe Wants to Make the One Sequel Nobody Else Wants to Make
Cameron Crowe says he’s been approached about doing a tv series or sequel to Jerry Maguire, but he’s only interested in following the lives of the Tidwell’s. Once they hear that, Crowe told Collider, “they never call back. ”
Cameron, be reasonable. Can the world really handle a Cuba Gooding Jr me-too cancel before you even get this off the ground?
Machine Gun Kelly Wears Megan Fox’s Blood
It’s Valentine’s day and everyone is showing their love. Machine Gun Kelly posted an Instagram photo for his Bloody Valentine, Megan Fox, captioned “I wear your blood around my neck.”
Just remember that blood is mixed with Brian Austin Green’s cum.
Gwenyth's Goop Offers Their First Vibrator!
Goops first sex toy, and it’s everything they wanted it to be. Double sided, packing a ton of power, and beautiful.
Can we just cut out the middle man and get some Only Fans demos of the product by the owner?
1,000 Lb Sister Came Out as Pansexual
If you follow the tv show 1000 lb sister than you know Tammy Slayton has always been bisexual, but just found out that she’s actually pansexual.
By pansexual do you mean things you can fry in a pan?
Surviving Nirvana Members Still Play Together Privately
Dave Grohl revealed that Krist Novoselic and Pat Smear occasionally get together privately and play Nirvana songs. Grohl added that the trio last played while Foo Fighters were recording their current album and that it was recorded. If they get H.E.R to do vocals, they could called the band Her-Vana.
Read more at nme.com.
Dave Grohl, Pat Smear and Krist Novoselic still jam as Nirvana from time to time
more stories coming soon
everything
TRENDING
Trending! The Blue Collar Accessory that Every Influencer Has to Have!
Buzzfeed goes behind the trend and figures out how Carhartt’s simple work hat became the must have accessory of the season among Insta-Influencers.
How very 2021 that a work hat is trending for people who have never done a day of work in their life.
Cat Named Juicebox is Cute as a Button
Six month old Juicebox the cat was attacked by the family dog and suffered severe wounds including face lacerations and a broken jaw. His vets got innovative using plastic buttons to help hold together his sutures.
Juicebox is healing and should be back up on his feet as soon as the dog is put down.
VIRAL VIRAL
nothing here yet
everything
STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS
Reddit Is Where The Unemployed Are Going For Help
Due to the mass unemployment in the country, people are flocking to Reddit’s r/unemployed subreddit to talk out how they’re managing and helping each other figure out the convoluted benefits situation in America. While they’re on r/unemployed they might as well jump over to WallStreetBets to get some bad financial advice as well.
Read More Stories From the IB Wire
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