Liz’s Listicles: Liz Barrett’s Survival Tips for Unemployment

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Liz Barrett is a New-York based stand-up comedian and writer. Raised in a military family and having moved all around the world, Liz is deadpan, dry, engaging, and offers shrewd observations about life and womanhood.  You’ll remember her one-liners long after you see her.   Liz has appeared on AXS TV Gotham Comedy Live, Laughs on FOX, Lifetime, Funny or Die and New York Post Videos. You can also hear her on Raw Dog Comedy on SiriusXM.     Since 2013, Liz has produced her own monthly show Grin and Barrett which has been described as “puntastically named” and “one of the best shows in the city produced by a female comedian.” Liz’s Listicles will appear on theinterrobang.com monthly.  Follow Liz on Twitter @LizComedy and on Instagram @LizComedy.

Are you just trying to make it through these days? Are you just hanging on and ready to fall out of the hammock, which is life? Are you tired of feeling like you need to be perfect? Comedian Liz Barrett is here to help. Each month, comedian Liz Barrett will provide tips on how you can cut yourself some slack. With her tips, you will not be living your best life, but a perfectly fine life.

This month Liz’s Listicles tackles surviving unemployment.

How To Keep Going When You are Unemployed or Just Have Lots of Time On Your Hands

I am no stranger to unemployment. In fact, some would say I have a PhD in it. I have spent years unemployed. I know the slow tick tock of the endless days. It is nonstop fun looking for work  and having so much time on your hands, but no money. Navigating unemployment is an art form. Here are my simple tips for surviving unemployment so that you don’t end up being cast on my 600 Pound Life by the end.

Try to get up in the AM, not PM. I always advise that you don’t have to get up at 6 am or 7 am – let’s not kill it here. You still don’t have any place to go. Be up by 8 am, that’s decent. Caveat, if you have young children, good luck. I know they will wake you up at the crack of dawn. I suggest you put Bailey’s in your coffee.

Limit your binge watching to a few hours (at a time). Do not binge watch a show for a whole day, break it up. 3-4 episodes at a time. Otherwise your body starts to atrophy. Also, by breaking up your binge watching you avoid that passive aggressive Netflix message – hey are you still watching/awake/alive?  I always want to respond that you made me this way Netflix, leave me alone.

I’m going to rely on Friends to illustrate my point about television watching. Here, Chandler realizes he needs to get a job.

Make to do lists. These will help, and I suggest all different kinds.

  1. Baby Steps List – This is a daily list of things you can achieve. Just start off slow. First thing on the list is, make a to do list, then go from there. These are attainable goals, for example, get out of bed; brush your teeth; or eat some toast. Just write it all down, and then cross it off. If you end up doing something not on your list, write it down after the fact, and cross it off anyway.
  2. Long term – These are bigger goals, but goals that need to be done eventually. For example: apply for jobs, work on your resume, pay bills, and update your tinder profile. 
  3. Pie in the Sky List – This is the list for the big nuggets. Things that probably won’t get done in your lifetime, but at least write them down. Here are some examples: discover meaning of life; write a book; throw out my skinny clothes; or win a pie eating contest.

Get out of your pjs at some point in the day. Honestly, you can still put on a “PJ lite” outfit, a t-shirt and sweatpants, but try to change out of your pjs everyday. First, that is one activity on the to do list. You can put your pjs back on at the end of the day or 4:30 pm, whichever comes first.

This clip really has nothing to do with unemployment, but more to do with pajamas. Here’s the theme song from the Australian children’s show Bananas in Pyjamas. I will warn you that if you see your bananas starting to wear pajamas in your apartment, you should immediately get out of the house for some fresh air.

 

Don’t be a hero. No one can look for work 7-8 hours a day. Try 20 minutes at first, and build up to an hour or two a day. Otherwise, you will go insane.

Have projects. Look around your apartment or house – is there something you could paint and regret later? How about reorganizing your bookshelf by genre, author, women to men authors, or century it takes place (this one requires research). How about getting your paperclips in one chain? That could take up some time. 

Here’s another Friends clip where Ross is unemployed and bored. 

 

Spend some time each day self soothing. Life is traumatic right now, find a few moments each day just humming and rocking, humming and rocking. Better to do it at home, then at Bellevue.

Avoid conversations with your successful friends and families. I don’t mean cut off all communication, what I mean is avoid conversations that lead to talking to anyone about their fantastic career, family, and overall life. Keep it light. Talk about anything else, moss growing on a rolling stone, Real Housewives, or even the price of almond butter.

Keep your head up. No, literally keep your head up. If you keep your head down too long it causes neck pain.

 

Comedian Liz Barrett (Gotham Comedy Live, Laughs on FOX, Lifetime, Funny or Die) wants people to stop being perfect, and start being real. On her new show Gettin’ By, Liz along with a funny guest, will cover a universal topic, with a comedic approach, and discuss how to relax, chill, and let the small stuff go. Visit lizbarrettcomedy.com or follow Liz @lizcomedy on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook for details. 

 

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Liz Barrett
Liz Barrett