Live Like James Bond Without Leaving Your Parents Basement
The wrangling over the script for the 24th James Bond movie seems to be over, and filming is due to begin in November. That means that you’ve got about 14 months of thumb-twiddling and staring at walls before we actually get to see it. Don’t just sit there in your parents basement waiting for the movie to get made. The folks at River Belle came up with six ways you can be James Bond right from that recliner of yours. Have mom order you one of those meat lovers specials, because you’re about to become the most dangerous man in your basement. Lets go double 0 zero, time to live like virtual Bond.
1. Mix the Perfect Cocktail. It all starts here, with the Vodka Martini. Moderation is, of course, advised, but not compulsory. Now that Bond has endorsed a well-known global mega-lager, you can allow yourself a mini-fridge full of cold ones, but you’ll also need to know how to mix a decent cocktail. Start here with about.com’s ten perfect Bond Drinks. You can start with the Vesper Martini, the true Bond martini, and then work your way up through a regular Martini, a Scotch and Soda, Vodka Tonic, the Americano, and Old Fashioned, a Stinger, Mojito, Black Velvet and a Negroni. If your parents don’t have an already stocked bar to raid, you can download the “Virtual Pour” app on your phone and learn to pour like a pro.
2. Gamble. Gambling has always been high on Bond’s list of entertaining ways to spend an evening. A trip to the Casino de Monte Carlo is a stretch for most people, but you can hit up any online casino, like the River Belle online casino without leaving the house. Bond’s been known to hit a few different tables, but you’ll really want to master Baccarat. You’re unlikely to meet Eva Green while you’re doing it, but at least you can play for free while you learn the ropes – not something that’s encouraged at most real-life casinos.
3. Shooting Practice. Bond may have given up smoking and various other increasingly unpopular activities, but shooting people is still part of the job description. Shooting people in real life is not something you want , but go ahead to newgrounds.com and fire this virtual gun. Bang! Bang! Bang! You did it! Now that you’ve shot a virtual gun, keep yourself busy shooting this stick figure over and over. Not enough action for you? Team Fortress is one of the better free first person shooters available online.
4. Cars. If you’re really sitting in your parents’ basement pretending to be James Bond, there’s a good chance you’ve got at least one games console sitting under the 50″ plasma. Forza Motorsport 5 is one of the best driving simulators available to humanity, and it comes with the Aston Martin DB5 that first appeared in Goldfinger – though sadly there’s no ejector seat or revolving numberplate.
5. Spy Gadgets. Since the Daniel Craig era began, the number of frankly ridiculous gadgets in each Bond movie has decreased, though the in-car defibrillator in Casino Royale was a touch of genius. If you’ve missed some of the crazy stuff that Q used to supply, how about a handcuff key hidden in a false coin, or a can of envelope x-ray spray? No, honestly – it’s a real thing. Go shopping for the best spy gadgets available on the internet, and mail order them so you can start surveilling the neighborhood out of that tiny basement window. Then you can go buy your own Parrot AR.Drone 2.0 Elite Edition Quadricopter – Wifi – Free App iOS & Android – Record HD 720p movies – Jungle
6. Women. If you live in your parents basement, you don’t need us to tell you where to satisfy those carnal desires. You can put almost any word after You or Before tube and you’ve got yourself some evening companionship. Oh you’re too good for porn now that you can make a cocktail and hang at the baccarat tables? There’s always Craigs List. And ask her to pick up some decent vodka on her way over. Nobody drinks absolut anymore.
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