Musk is worth $20 billion less now than he had before he hosted SNL. The reason is a drop in crypto.

Well, guess we know one person who won’t be going for that SNL Five Timers Club.

Read more at The Wrap.

Rep Andrew Clyde made a really fun speech talking about how January 6th at the Capitol looked like any other group of tourists visiting D.C.

Who are these tourists? Huns? Vikings?

Rep. Andrew Clyde's (R-GA) comments today don't hold up well when played side-by-side with insurrection footage, so I made this.

the revisionist history being perpetuated by some Republicans to defend January 6th is disgusting pic.twitter.com/bWdXtU0b4F

— j.d. durkin (@jiveDurkey) May 12, 2021

Candidates for Mayor of NYC are alleging that Andrew Yang, leader of the Yang Gang, may have cheated on his pop quiz about New York City. Yang was the only one of the eight candidates to get all three questions exactly right, correctly naming the median price of a Brooklyn home; the median residential rent in Manhattan; and the percentage of New York City public-school students who are homeless.

You guys are starting to sound like Tony Hinchcliffe

Via digg.

Ronnie from Jersey Shore needs some mental health time, and that means a break from filming the Jersey Shore reboot. The cast and crew also agree, he needs a break.

Um didn’t you just have a break? 11 years?

So what you’re really saying is you need a break from reality, not a break from reality tv.

Read more at TMZ.

The uncle and his photo are gone and the new Ben’s Rice has scrubbed all the controversy away.

Uncle Bens more like Uncle Blands. Nothing tastier than PC rice.

Read more at designtaxi.

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CDC’s new guidelines have everyone on Twitter posting the new chart showing all green lights for vaccinated individuals to go back to normal life again. Of course that’s just the CDC and states rules will remain in effect. Travel Safety Guidelines will likely stay the same for the time being as well.

Thats cool, we really didn’t want to be breathing in the same recycled air with a bunch of idiot tourists in sweatpants. Anyway you can make sure they also keep their shoes on??

Read more at npr.

The new CDC graphic: pic.twitter.com/LsmfY3ujpL

— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) May 13, 2021

Sensored Billboards Play Ads in Your Car As You Pass? The idea is, your car has a sensor, the billboard has a sensor, and when the two connect you get an ad on your car dash. You could even get directions to the location just by clicking on something on your car display.

Yea, one thing we definitely need is more distractions while on the road. Help us, self driving cars, you’re our only hope.

Read more at vice.

The NFL schedule has Tampa Bay vs New England in New England in week three and everyone’s going crazy for Brady’s return to his former home stadium. Even nosebleed seats will set you back $1,000 plus.

This is as close as the Patriots will come to a Super Bowl this year.

Read more at TMZ

We dont know what started this fight, but we do get to see how it ended.

Those cops rode up slow like they were arresting a white guy.

pic.twitter.com/Utor1ZVvb2

— Chad (@ChadBlue83) May 14, 2021

San Diego fasho winning World Series. pic.twitter.com/G5ojD3QsFz

— BIG MEX (@MexicoMerio) May 13, 2021

everything

This week’s episode of Real Time with Bill Maher is getting shelved because the host has tested positive for Covid 19 despite being double vaxxed. He has no symptoms. This puts him in the category of breakthrough cases- people who test positive after getting both shots.

New rules. You shouldn’t get covid after a vaccine. #Snarkysnarksnark.

Read more at NY Post.

Jimmy Fallon wants kids to experience Late Night television, so he’s EPing “The Kids Tonight Show” for the Peacock network. Hosted by kids, with kids in charge of everything, the show will feature signature bits from Fallon’s Tonight Show and tape in Studio 6A.

Tonight Show for children? Thought that was what the current Tonight Show was.

Read more at THR.

Gaffigan tweeted, “Fully vaccinated & continuing mask in all public places. ” She explained, “You can’t make a “gentleman’s agreement” when so many have shown that they’re not gentlemen/women. How do u tell difference between vaccinated unmaked person & unmasked person who was always unmasked cause they don’t care?”

Which of course means, Jim won’t be giving up his mask.

Fully vaccinated & continuing mask in all public places. You can't make a "gentleman's agreement" when so many have shown that they're not gentlemen/women. How do u tell difference between vaccinated unmaked person & unmasked person who was always unmasked cause they don't care?

— Jeannie Gaffigan (@jeanniegaffigan) May 14, 2021

Days after his release from rehab and announcement of his divorce comes the news that John Mulaney is now dating Olivia Munn. According to an insider the couple met in church in Los Angeles.

Aaron Rogers, Chris Pine, and now…Mulaney. Clearly, she has a type.

Read more at pagesix.

They’re calling it The One Where They Get Back Together, but they should have to gone with the working title. The One Where Chandler Picks Up 19 Years Olds On Raya.

There’s not much here. Maybe that’s why this is the first time I’ve ever enjoyed friends.

everything

“Scene” according to Vice, “was a youth culture from the 2000s typified mostly by listening to emo and hardcore, ruining your hair by backcombing it every day, and being obsessed with MySpace.”

If zipters are zoomer hipsters, get ready for the next wave… Zenesters!

Read more at vice.

What was Michael Jordan best at?

@boomdasportsgod

What did he do best? ##foryou ##NBA ##jordan ##Sportgod ##Debate ##pov

♬ Blade Runner 2049 – Synthwave Goose

97 new baby sharks are alive thanks to the world’s “largest-ever effort to artificially inseminate sharks.”

Oh great, thats what we need, more sharks. Hopefully they’re working on tarantulas next

Read more at CNN

Netflix, Hulu on the outs? 1 in 3 Americans ready to dump streaming services over dull programming.

Which means 2 out of 3 people are idiots.

Read more at studyfinds.org.